Lose Weight 26

polkadot

dmv wrote: »

POLKADOT - I'm sorry to hear you are feeling low, I want to give you a big hug because its horrible to feel like that. I know the chances are that you are extremely money savvy etc, but have you looked on entitled to? That way you would be able to find out yourself if you could/should be getting anything extra (its all anonymous) and wouldnt have to rely on your OH to find anything out, just to sort it if you are due more, which will make him more likely to get on with it. As I said, you probably have already done it, but thought it worth mentioning.

Thanks DMV I have done that already. HE's on £26000 a year so it's not considered low income-but there is quite alot of debt (although I dont know EXACTLY how much). He's suggested a few times over the weekend to leave because he says DS and I would be better off without him financially. DWP has also tolkd our MP that they are still waiting for info from my GP, and the letter from the MP sounded pretty much like "well thats that then"

Maslowe

Hi

Can I join I want to lose 3 stone by 26 sept ready for a wonderful holiday.

I need to focus and you might be the answer

Maslowe

x_raphael_xx

Balloon flight has been cancelled Marathon website still busy! I'm in a grump now!

serendisglair

2lb loss please raph

katiepoppycat

morning all. sorry to hear about tough times for people. many of our systems are deeply flawed and unfortunately it's easy for certain people to exploit them. Granny, st george was rather young but looked disturbingly like merlin so not somewhere to go i think.

this week i have lost 0.7kg so thats very good. gettingv ready to go back on sw officially next tuesday (the online joining offer finishes then) but I'll be doing it as of monday. making lentil flatbreads on saturday as won't be able to have them after monday and they sound fun!

ytesterdays plan was:

cocopops, milk, oj and tea
ricicles, milk and apple
cup soup
spiced lamb mince with baked pots, green beans, tom juice

and ended up cocopops, milk, oj and tea
ricicles, milk and apple
savoury rice, half a cookie(both for work) few pringles
spiced lamb mince with baked pots, tom juice

spent ages last night makinga bandolier for oh - he's off roleplaying this weekend so i have the house to myself!

victory

LOST 0.5 OF A KG and I will join you in the crying polka today is 25 years since I met my OH our first date, the first time we kissed and went out, 25 years and he has forgoten, I gave him every oportunity this morning but he never clicked what date it was and he gets back at 11.30pm from work this evening so it is not as if he kept quiet and is taking me out for dinner or has something arranged, no he forgot:rolleyes: oh well I think it is an achievement 25 years of knowing each other is more than some marriages last, we have not been married 25 years but even so it is worth acknowleding:D

seren,kpc:j:j:j:j
maslowe welcome:D

button oh did that to me on sunday gave me FF milk without thinking he said, all I could think of was how he had wasted my cals and I was not going to eat it:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

sarymclary

Morning,

Welcome maslowe

Polka - it sounds like you're getting a bit overwhelmed there. We've all done it, and I know the feeling only too well, as life just seems to stack up all in one go at certain points. My only advice here would be to break each issue down; so for example, as an outsider I can see there are certain main issues to tackle: OH's debt, which is clearly putting him under pressure, and in turn making him feel he can't support you and DS properly (responsibility for men is a big worry), secondly that there doesn't seem to be a way to get a 2nd income to help, whether that be benefits, or your cakemaking (which you are plodding away at to get off the ground, so kudos there), and lastly, in amongst all this you're wanting another baby, which brings added pressure, not only to conceive, but also on your DF to provide for a bigger family, and to support you emotionally/physically, etc. It's a huge step to be taking, and the fact that you don't feel you like your home surroundings may make him doubt whether it's the right time for any of this?! Don't allow the pressure you're both feeling to drive you both apart. This is where relationships are tested, and where you both need each other's support. As a couple about to enter a marriage, you BOTH need to know what debts you are tackling together. Then you can decide how best to approach them. It sounds like you are trying to tackle things the best you can, especially getting your MP involved. If you're struggling to get accepted for entitlement due to being an ex-pat, would that not alter once you're married anyway (assuming DF is a UK national)? Don't forget the main premise of this site is for wanting to tackle debt, so use the Debt Free Wanabees experience to it's full advantage. You DF may need some reassurance that it can be tackled, and that he has nothing to fear from you by revealing what debts he has.

Victory - I don't like to make sweeping statments, or generalise too much, but men simply do not do subtle, and do not remember anniversaries/birthdays. Whereas we women have a very efficient filing system in place in our brains that remembers all these things. It infuriates my BF that I can remember everything, down to what we were wearing, the song on the radio, etc. at any given point in time. I just have that sort of brain. He, on the other hand, can't always recall if he ate lunch! He doesn't even know my mobile phone number, in fact, he doesn't even know the landline number to his own house! You have to be blatant, you have to tell them exactly what is going on. Last weekend you probably should have warned him, and said 'Tuesday is our 25th anniversary of meeting, that's a biggie isn't it? We should do something to celebrate it.' He'd have been in no doubt as to it's significance, and a big sign on the calendar would have helped. I do a countdown for 1 month prior to my birthday, and thankfully retailers & TV help with Christmas! Anniversaries, well I have to do the flagging up for those.

I'm feeling super bloated today, TOTM looms, urgh! It gets to this point and I just wish it would get over and done with, rather than draw it out over so many days. The fact that last month lasted a full 7 days too did my head in, as well as the days before it on top.

I'm hoping it stays a bit drier today so that I can dig up some of my shrubs & plants to bring from the other house. Just got the flooring to pack up into the back of the car today, and BF is taking down some security lighting I had up, etc. All last minute bits, and we have till the end of next weekend to sort it all out, so we're definitely not stressing now. Hoping to get him a day off tomorrow, so he can enjoy one of the days he's taken as holiday.

Off to make my porridge now, couldn't face anything earlier, but 2 cups of tea later I feel more like it.

Buttons - is there a chance you've felt grotty because you've not eaten enough? Try a day where you eat more regularly, small meals or snacks throughout the day to keep your energy levels up, and see if that works? Are you sleeping at night OK? Are you still worrying about the bungalow? It could be many things, but just make sure you take care of yourself.

dmv_2

RAPH - sorry to hear about the ballon ride, can it be re-arranged?

VICTORY - congratulations on hitting "a landmark" time, I'm sure as the woman in the relationship you deserve an extra pat on the back aswell. I often feel that it is the women that keep things going. For example my OH tells me he loves me all the time, but if i flew off the handle like he does sometimes and didnt run around sorting the house etc I sometimes wonder would we work as well as we do now?!

Right gotta run!

victory

Thanks sary he was warned, what we were going to do was quite something, off to Venice for the weekend (always wanted togo there but never have yet, dismissed because of the kids) go out to dinner(turns out it falls on the one date he works until nearly midnight) I bought two cards one for him to give to me and one for me to give to him, he never took his out of his bedside draw, we have had chats about what we were wearing etc and how funny it would be to dress up like that again he has had loads of chats and warnings but today it was like it just was not in his mind, I'll live just seems a shame, a card would have been enough or even just a quick kiss didn't we do well and done:D he always remembers birthdays and weddings etc just not today:D
I made him a scrap book with 25 years theme running through it with photos poems quotes locations thoughts feelings etc, it is sitting on the side.

polkadot

Thanks Sary I woke up this morning saying the things you just have so now I feel even better than I did after a decent nights sleep. First of all... I am a british citizen myself (my mum was born here so I was registered at birth and have been a citizen all my life), so that never seems to be the problem. My two brick walls are a)DF's income and b) the fact that I'm an adult living with cerebral palsy. The "paperwork" attitude is that if you made it to adulthood then you don't need anymore help.
And the debt: DF starts talking to me about it, but then when I start suggesting things to do he clams up. He knows that most of the things I've learned about money saving comes from this site and despite the fact that I've saved us loads (and the debt is getting smaller)from things like OS and daily clicks (and even some competitions), he wont take advice from here because he says "its a bunch of people who, just like you, get bored during the day so they've picked that site to get on and pretend they are doing something...but they probably dont practice what they preach." He's very negative about things like that but its because he's very cynical about people. I'm sure he doesn't mean to be-but just little things...like he doesnt see the point of "just chatting", and prefers to be quiet rather than "chatter about what happened today because it was probably the same as yesterday". I have suggested waiting for a baby, but because of the cp we know its goin g to be a long process.
Victory I don't know what to say to you now-that's horrid. But 25 years is a HUGE achievement, and I wouldn't quib at the fact that you are not married. My pastor is always saying we are one couple (even though DF doesnt go to services he does go to family days and help out with the kids etc) in the church he doesn't feel he needs to council, he says sometimes even he forgets that we haven't done the paperwork.
Raph I'm sorry you missed your ballon ride, did you at least get onto the site to sign up for the marathon?
I've had breakfast but I'm feeling yuck so Im going to take the kids for a walk down to visit a friend and see if the sun can do something to cheer up my african blood:)