When to start dating again?

Sarahjovi

Or... perhaps you snored or dribbled when you fell asleep and he doesn't quite see you in the same angelic light anymore...

Sorry... but everyone could be over analysising things and its a simple he doesn't feel quite the same way anymore!

Its a shame and we were all hoping for the romantic ending, it may not be the case! But at least you gave it a go and maybe its set you up for the next time you catch someones eye! As the saying goes, you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince charming!

Sarah:D

PS. I'm still hoping for the fairytale ending! and reserve the right to backtrack and any point!:o;):D

whitewing

Taye,

He hasn't wandered away as though it's nothing. He had enough respect and admiration for you to not sleep with you, to still treat you like a princess and to try to break up with you.

You have honoured him with the raw truth of the situation, and he has acknowledged that your first sexual encounter should be something really special. At the moment he is not able to provide you with that, because he can't get his head round how he is feeling.

I think he's fab. By all means send the email (I would wait a day or two myself). I still think you did everything right, and I think he did everything right. You're going to get a happy ending out of all this, even if it's not quite the ending you expect.

NAR

Taye wrote: »

I sat down with him on friday and i pretty much told him everything, no graphic detail but enough that he understood where i have come from and how much i'd had to re-build. I don't want people looking at me that way, feeling sorry for me giving me there pity i want to be judged on who i am NOW, not who i was then.
I only told him because i felt he had a right to know why i freaked out so often, i thought it would help him understand why i wanted to take things slowly and why the physical side of things might not always run smoothly.

I just feel sick and i don't even think it's the thought of losing dave that makes me sick, it more that for the first time in years i let someone in, let him know stuff that i don't talk about, things i try my best not to think about ... and now he's gone i let him that close and he just wandered away as though it was nothing.

Ok Taye here is my take on things. I reckon the detail spooked him bigtime to the extent of him thinking "am I capable of continuing this relationship?" I know it would have me.
I too would email him including some of what is in red above, with emphasis very much on the last paragraph. Also stating you wanted to be completely honest from the start and that you are sorry if your honesty upset him or caused a rift.
State that you sincerely want a relationship with him and that he has helped immensely in bringing feelings for him to you, that you did not think were going to be possible for you with a man again. So you will always be grateful for that.
Tell him you will be disappointed if it is definitely over, but hope that you can remain friends (as posted by sarymclary above).

rach29

Nar I think you have it spot on. :T

tattycath

As Nar Said

nicki_2

I'm with NAR on this as well

Taye - Hugs to you.

barnaby-bear

Taye wrote: »

Ok i know im obbsessing and i know it's not healthy!!

But i just feel.... gah i don't even know how i feel.
ugh.

It's all so much so fast and more new stuff piling in on top; let him get his head around it and think it over - more info/pressure might freak him out... he might well come back to you when he's had time to get his head around things. Give yourself a bit of time to think it over - maybe make some positive steps to sort out your own situation so if he does come back or down the line you're a little more sorted independently.

duchy

Time after time we've heard how Dave likes to "fix" things. Maybe the thought of "fixing" you feels like a huge responsibility.
Yes write that email (send it in a day or two) -if you don't send it you'll always wonder "what if I had emailed him?" but make it clear you don't *need* fixing -and that you really would like a relationship but one that is based on friendship and trust first-so when and if it progesses it's special but if he's not ready for that -or looking for that you'd hope you'll remain friends and who knows if in the future you'll find yourselves in the right place and the right time.....That kind of stuff. Spelling out you like him but if he's not ready leaving the door open a trifle or at least not slamming it in his face.

jenhug

I bet he thinks he is doing you a favour by "setting you free" I reckon he will change his mind. It was only last week he wanted to marry you and bought the kids bunk beds!

Heath84

****Hugs ****