When to start dating again?

k2tog

NAR wrote: »

Ok Taye here is my take on things. I reckon the detail spooked him bigtime to the extent of him thinking "am I capable of continuing this relationship?" I know it would have me.
I too would email him including some of what is in red above, with emphasis very much on the last paragraph. Also stating you wanted to be completely honest from the start and that you are sorry if your honesty upset him or caused a rift.
State that you sincerely want a relationship with him and that he has helped immensely in bringing feelings for him to you, that you did not think were going to be possible for you with a man again. So you will always be grateful for that.
QUOTE]
Agree with this but also Duchy's take. I think you need to make it clear that it isn't up to him to *be* anything for you other than what he was doing. You are not interested in him as a therapist/shoulder to cry on/magician but only as a man and that he has no responsibilty to pick you up or fix you - you've been doing really well so far. He may be lacking in confidence or courage at the idea of dealing with it - he may not feel up to what he sees as the task. Perhaps he needs to be told that all he has to do is keep being him?
I would email him but let things settle in your mind a bit first. Please try not to see this as reason that you should hide all your history forever more (though I share your feelings about telling all and sundry when there is no real reason) because for better or worse, it is part of the reason you are the Taye you are today. Please keep posting so we all know you are OK. Take care

BrokeBrunette

hi Taye, there isn't much I can add to all the comments above, so I won't.

I hope you're ok. :grouphug:
xx

k2tog

Are you alright Taye?

rosepink1984

bevan840 wrote: »

You've read the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus haven't you? lol

I agree with everyone Taye. He has got a lot of thoughts whizzing around his head right now with what you've told him and he's just trying to digest and arrange them in his head. Give him some space, don't ring, text etc If you feel the need to text or ring come on here and I'm sure someone will be around to talk It's a very popular thread A good book to read is the one I mentioned above, if you can find it in a library, it's suprising how true it all is! :rotfl:

Nope! Just worked it out for myself!

Taye, am still catching up so not sure what the latest news is but hope you are ok honey

Quackers

BrokeBrunette wrote: »

hi Taye, there isn't much I can add to all the comments above, so I won't.

I hope you're ok. :grouphug:
xx

Ditto

Taye

I'm fine, drinking coffee trying to decide if i can be arsed writing him this stupid email.

Feeling very "blah" (yes that is the technical term), sort of want to write an email, but part of me thinks "sod him" if he wants to marry me one week, then dump me the next, he clearly has NO CLUE what he really wants so maybe i should just stear clear.

rosepink1984

Taye, I can see why you feel that way, but in a few weeks/months will you be wondering what might have happened if you emailed him? You've nothing to lose if you do and possibly everything to gain.

Quackers

Taye wrote: »

I'm fine, drinking coffee trying to decide if i can be arsed writing him this stupid email.

Feeling very "blah" (yes that is the technical term), sort of want to write an email, but part of me thinks "sod him" if he wants to marry me one week, then dump me the next, he clearly has NO CLUE what he really wants so maybe i should just stear clear.

:rotfl:

sounds like you're back on track

Have a think for today then about what you want.

Think about how far you have come and what you have achieved in the past couple of weeks.

As everyone has said if its not meant to be then its not meant to be.

But, he has helped you take a step in the right direction & you dont necessarily need him anymore to continue to move forward.

i wouldn't rush into sending him that email. Have a think first and decide whether you really can be 'arsed' with him

Good luck with whatever you decide & lots of love & hugs for the fab future you have ahead of you with or without Dave xxxx

k2tog

It might help to email him, in that if neccessary you can draw a line under it on your terms. Either way it may help you move forward - with or without him. If you don't feel up to it now, leave it til you do.
Take care

barnaby-bear

rosepink1984 wrote: »

Taye, I can see why you feel that way, but in a few weeks/months will you be wondering what might have happened if you emailed him? You've nothing to lose if you do and possibly everything to gain.

I'd still leave it a few days - more dignity, bit more time to put it in persepctive and less likely to regret it.