When to start dating again?

jinky67

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

This is not the first post I've read of yours which has blown me away and made me wish I knew you in real life. What a thoughtful, considerate, articulate and intelligent person you are. xxx

I agree:j:j:j:j:j:j:j:j


I wish I was as eloquent:o

k2tog

Taye, I think some time without distractions to talk about it would be a good idea. If you want to give it another go, make sure he understands that the consequences of rushing ahead is you freaking out and calling it a day. I hope you can sort it out.
Another mum-hug x

Lunar_Eclipse

Taye

I agree with Dave; see him this weekend, without the boys. Talk, talk and talk some more. Exhaust yourself! Give him your life story. Explain how everything made and is making you feel. Apologise for being such a mess and he'll probably love you even more!

I think the real problem is fear. I suspect you might be just scared. Really really scared about the power of your feelings for him, whether you can trust your own judgments and are up for the changes that (finally) look possible in your life.

They do say that love has a habit of finding those who aren't looking. It sounds like you have spent the last 7 years walking around with your eyes half shut. Which has become very comfortable and reassuring. The rug has been pulled out from under your feet emotionally speaking and you're not sure that you like it. You certainly didn't want it to happen. But unfortunately things will not go back to being the way they were, even if you end it with Dave.

Give up the fight (with yourself). You deserve to be happy. Maybe you aren't going to swan off into the sunset with Dave. But stay brave and keep going. You have been amazing and must be so proud of how far you have come in such a short space of time. Payback is coming. Remember: never look back.:)

jinky67

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

They do say that love has a habit of finding those who aren't looking. It sounds like you have spent the last 7 years walking around with your eyes half shut. Which has become very comfortable and reassuring. The rug has been pulled out from under your feet emotionally speaking and you're not sure that you like it. You certainly didn't want it to happen. But unfortunately things will not go back to being the way they were, even if you end it with Dave.

Give up the fight (with yourself). You deserve to be happy. Maybe you aren't going to swan off into the sunset with Dave. But stay brave and keep going. You have been amazing and must be so proud of how far you have come in such a short space of time. Payback is coming. Remember: never look back.:)

Tell me about it.:D I had only 2 weeks come out of a 12 year relationship when I met my on here, the whole thing has totally blown me away:T:T

Which is why I want Taye to give it another shot with Dave, he may well be the *one* or he may not, but until she really tries she wont find out:A

Lunar_Eclipse

jinky67 wrote: »

I had only 2 weeks come out of a 12 year relationship when I met my on here, the whole thing has totally blown me away:T:T

On here? MSE? How? Spill the beans please; a little side story will simply add to the overall romance. Not diverting the thread, honest!

Horace

Lunar...you are so funny:rotfl: So Jinky what's the goss?:D

Taye..As others have said, sit down and talk to the guy set the rules - you speak first he listens and then after half an hour or so its his turn to speak and you listen. It is scary going out with new folks especially if your life with your ex hasnt been too hot. If Dave cannot play by your rules then you should let him down gently but as others have said you have grown in these last two weeks and have become stronger and more confident.

As for mothers - daughters never tell their mothers anything, my mum still doesnt know half the things I get up too:eek:

Good luck.

Taye

to be fair my mum knew "something" was going on, she would have had to be an idiot not to notice, even people at work knew.. there is only so much you can hide with makeup and a smile.

there was a few times i went to her at the begining of my "trouble" each time she sent me back home to my husband, and to this day she thinks divorce was the biggest mistake i ever made. She also comments frequently about how my youngest son doens't look anything like his father as she blatently belives his lies that my youngest isn't his.

whitewing

Oh dear, parents!

I split up with DS's dad about 10 years ago. The only way I could stop my parents inviting him and his mother to MY wedding was to remind them that he'd probably stop paying maintenance if he found out I was married. Honestly, sometimes everyone else on the planet is more important to them than me/

Heard from Dave? I ask tentatively.

sarymclary

Taye wrote: »

to be fair my mum knew "something" was going on, she would have had to be an idiot not to notice, even people at work knew.. there is only so much you can hide with makeup and a smile.

there was a few times i went to her at the begining of my "trouble" each time she sent me back home to my husband, and to this day she thinks divorce was the biggest mistake i ever made. She also comments frequently about how my youngest son doens't look anything like his father as she blatently belives his lies that my youngest isn't his.

There's a saying I often have to remind myself of when I am confronted with family issues:

'We don't get to choose our family, but our friends are the family we choose for ourselves'

Sometimes we can find that some of our family don't see eye to eye with us, or we can feel like the square peg in the round hole, black sheep, etc. It can be hard to contend with the thought that there may be a family member we just can't get along with, or who doesn't seem to have our best interests at heart, but it happens.

The strange thing I've found, is that the more people you 'confess' this to, the more who then tell you a similar story themselves. I met a lady at the weekend who I'd not seen for over 25 years, who, when I asked after her younger brother, looked somewhat uncomfortable and said she'd not seen him in a long time, and had no wish to. I reassured her, and said lots of us had a similar situation, and to not feel bad about it.

Taye

Yeah only reason i have contact with my mum is for my dad who is incidently my step dad.. funny divorce was fine for her but not for me *shrug* tbh i don't care anymore i stopped looking for her approval years ago.

yes i've heard from dave, had a chat earlier he's still trying to convince me to go down tommorrow and as usual im finding 100 reasons not to go