When to start dating again?

barnaby-bear

Taye wrote: »

to be fair my mum knew "something" was going on, she would have had to be an idiot not to notice, even people at work knew.. there is only so much you can hide with makeup and a smile.

there was a few times i went to her at the begining of my "trouble" each time she sent me back home to my husband, and to this day she thinks divorce was the biggest mistake i ever made. She also comments frequently about how my youngest son doens't look anything like his father as she blatently belives his lies that my youngest isn't his.

Can't change other people - can only change how you *react* to them. The only person who has the ultimate power to put your past behind you is yourself. Your mam's a bit dappy and has ideas from an era, didn't want to see things, wasn't up to dealing with it - her failings/dappiness/mis-guidedness.

whitewing

Could you go down on Saturday for the day?

(I sort of like the fact that you're having to try to find reasons not to!)

Taye

whitewing wrote: »

Could you go down on Saturday for the day?

(I sort of like the fact that you're having to try to find reasons not to!)

lol why?

barnaby-bear

Taye wrote: »

Yeah only reason i have contact with my mum is for my dad who is incidently my step dad.. funny divorce was fine for her but not for me *shrug* tbh i don't care anymore i stopped looking for her approval years ago.

yes i've heard from dave, had a chat earlier he's still trying to convince me to go down tommorrow and as usual im finding 100 reasons not to go

This bloke might not be the one but it's striking you need an outlet for adult conversation and company. Dave-no-dave you can take steps to find your own way to that end. Both of you seem to be trying a bit too hard and seem to both need other outlets - like the positives being crushed by over-analysis.

whitewing

...because if you didn't like him, you wouldn't need reasons to say no.

Taye

whitewing wrote: »

...because if you didn't like him, you wouldn't need reasons to say no.

hehe i've never said i didnt like him

k2tog

Taye wrote: »

yes i've heard from dave, had a chat earlier he's still trying to convince me to go down tommorrow and as usual im finding 100 reasons not to go

Do an overnight (be clear what you want re rooms) so that you aren't putting yourself under time pressure as well as everything else pressure.

Heath84

whitewing wrote: »

...because if you didn't like him, you wouldn't need reasons to say no.

hmm Im not sure its quite that straight forward though...

whitewing

Taye wrote: »

hehe i've never said i didnt like him

We know

Go and have a lovely time. If it's not alright, then come back early.

Blink_Eden

Taye, I wish I could offer some advice - my other half had some "commitment issues" for want of a better word. It took her 2 years to tell her parents about me, and we still can't hold hands when her family are about (we have been together 6 years).
She also rejected me when I first asked her out and we went through a lot in the first couple of years (I felt very insecure because she wouldn't tell her family about me). I was maybe a bit persistent like Dave, and we broke up about 3 - 4 times in the first 18 months.
But we have now been together for 6 years and I am very happy.

I hope you guys can tough it out and it works for you, but it is hard to tell what is the right thing to do and you are the one who has to live with you choices.