When to start dating again?

Miroslav

Taye wrote: »

wouldn't you be put off though if you realised a girl was barely able to pay her bills?

I dunno im just scared he's used to dating girls who can afford nice things, nice clothes taking care of themselves etc. Even if i do get some spare cash 99.999999% of the time it go's on the house or kids.

If things went futher chances are i'd spend most of my time going .. "oh sorry can't afford to go .. here.. or there" wouldn't that be a downer for someone who could afford to go out all the time?

When I like a young lady, I couldn't care if she had money, was introvert/extrovert, big boobs/small boobs etc etc, as long as she had a good heart.

As for timing, everyone is individual. If you feel ready, then try it.

My partner died 17 years ago, i've had 2 relationships since (15 months & 3 months) The first was nearly 8 years after parners death, the second nearly 15 years. Both disasters, but then i'm a catalogue of disasters and useful to no-one, though I take no blame for the 2 relationship failures!

I've known people start new relationships within a week of a relationship breakup, no matter how it ended and after how long. It's an individual thing.

Best of luck and maybe you can use this thread to update

Taye

Ok im meeting him in town at 7pm and we are going for a meal, don't know where yet i guess we will decide at the time, or he's got some idea's. My Sister is taking care of the kids overnight so i have no rush to get back but i might not tell him that incase things go badly.

My sister has lent my a plain black dress it's alittle big (she's a size bigger than me) but it doens't look too bad on, i think it would be more flattering if it was tighter but it's not too bad. She didn't like it on me she said i looked like a school teacher.. and not the sexy kind that the boy's get crushes on haha.

My other option is black pants (which are mine) and a red satin corset top she has lent me, it fit's better than the dress because im urm .. alittle top heavy i guess is the diplomatic term so i fill it out abit better.. BUT it's abit low cut and im not sure im feeling that brave.. eek.

Sis has also lent me some bit's an bobs jewellary and makeup etc (yes i am the only woman on the planet without a makeup bag)

Im terrified,

Im paniced

and im super stressed...

Errata

Chill - it's only a meal not a round the world cruise !
Don't tell him you don't have to be home by a civilised hour because the kids are being looked after, it may make him feel pressurised.
I don't know what kind of circles you move in, but it's always better to be understated than wear something that puts all the goods on display! A red corset with your dumplings boiling over could send out a message you don't want to give.
Enjoy the meal - as someone else said, you're checking out his suitability.

jm2926

Good for you, try and relax and have fun.:T

Let us know tomorrow how it went.

bluebell13

Try and relax and have a good time, and please let us all know how you get on. Also wear whichever outfit you feel the most comfortable in.....and I'm so envious of you having a decent chest. All my dresses hang at the front!!!!

traveller

Hi, good luck for tonight andremember he's the lucky and not you.Just see It as a meal with a friend.It will all fall into place.Have a lovely time.:j

kate1976

I'm so pleased you decided to go, I hope you have a fantastic night!

Money_maker

Dont forget to post tomorrow!

NAR

I hope your evening has gone well. I hope you have gone beyond your "ordeal" and had fun.:beer:

Taye

Well im back and im still alive if that counts for anything at all, it was.. nice i guess. I did enjoy myself he seemed nice freindly and chatty etc. We met in the pub had a couple of drinks there then we went for chinese.

We talked about alsort's of things i found out that he's been married before, but no kids. He and his wife got married very young, where married 5 year but split up when they realised they wanted different things from life. She was very career orientated, very driven. He said he was too but it just became a strain when 2 people where both SO focused on thier careers get together without much room for comprimise.

They ended up living the "week days" apart because of working at different ends of the country neither willing to pass up on oppertunitys for career advancement.

Eventually he said that they realised things where just not working, so he gave up his job and got a lower paid one so he could live with his wife in thier 2nd home and that worked for a while but eventually they still realised that they just wanted different things from life.

Mostly boiling down the the fact that he wanted kids and she didn't, he seems to blame himself for the breakdown.. it seemed to be a quite amicable split but he said something like kids was something they should have discussed years earlier he know she didn't want them right then and that she wanted to focus on her career but he never realised she didn't want them EVER.

I guess it gave me alot to think about... i know it's abit early for thinking about marriage and kids haha.. but i guess if i end up with any man it's something i have to think about. I've got two boys so i need/want a man who is quite family orientated so he'll be comfortable with them and we can be a family, but at the same time im really not sure i want to go though the whole preganacy thing again. i had two reasonably trumatic pregnancys and if im honest the thought of going though it again is enough to put me off dating compleatly... i dunno i guess i hadn't really thought about it before but i guess its kinda unlikely that im going to find a family orientated man, willing to make my sons his own but who's quite happy not to have kids of his own?

Anyway ... blah everything went well i guess, except for the end which resulted in an episode that could have been from a bad romantic comedy .. he tried to kiss me good night before i got into the taxi home, i paniced... it was just bad!! he now probabally thinks im some kind of nut case for i guess i won't have to worry about him asking me out again