When to start dating again?

snowmaid

I wouldn't introduce the kids until you have known him for a few months. When you do go out for dinner, talk about your kids constantly! Let him know that you have a family and this is the whole package, so to speak. Go on and on about them! If he takes flight and disapears, then he wasn't worth knowing in the first place!

A friend of mine's dad met his 2nd wife. He had custody of his children and they basically went on every date with him and the then girlfriend (now step mom.) He felt that if they were to be an item, she had to be aware of the 'baggage'.

They married and are still together today - nearly 30 years.

galvanizersbaby

snowmaid wrote: »

I wouldn't introduce the kids until you have known him for a few months. When you do go out for dinner, talk about your kids constantly! Let him know that you have a family and this is the whole package, so to speak. Go on and on about them! If he takes flight and disapears, then he wasn't worth knowing in the first place!

A friend of mine's dad met his 2nd wife. He had custody of his children and they basically went on every date with him and the then girlfriend (now step mom.) He felt that if they were to be an item, she had to be aware of the 'baggage'.

They married and are still together today - nearly 30 years.

I would think that if somebody went on and on about anything on a first date and talked constantly about one subject it could be a bit boring - be it kids, pets or sudoku! (or in the case of my work male colleague his yorkshire terrier 'Woody"):D
I don't see the need to go on and on about the fact you have a family when this guy is clearly well aware of the fact.
OP you don't sound like the sort of person that considers your children baggage either and your just going out with a chap thats asked you - you've not committed to marriage just yet!

Just go along and see - if you really haven't anything to wear PM me and I'll sort you out - you can't use that as an excuse not to go x

saveallmymoney

I drive a big shiny expensive looking car, and i'd be gutted if someone wouldn't go out with me because of it.....

Taye

saveallmymoney wrote: »

I drive a big shiny expensive looking car, and i'd be gutted if someone wouldn't go out with me because of it.....

wouldn't you be put off though if you realised a girl was barely able to pay her bills?

I dunno im just scared he's used to dating girls who can afford nice things, nice clothes taking care of themselves etc. Even if i do get some spare cash 99.999999% of the time it go's on the house or kids.

If things went futher chances are i'd spend most of my time going .. "oh sorry can't afford to go .. here.. or there" wouldn't that be a downer for someone who could afford to go out all the time?

jm2926

Taye wrote: »

If things went futher chances are i'd spend most of my time going .. "oh sorry can't afford to go .. here.. or there" wouldn't that be a downer for someone who could afford to go out all the time?

If things go further you can worry about it then. Anyway there's a couple of different things could happen:

1/ It's a company car - he's as skint as you.
2/ It's his car, he owes loads of money to pay for it - he's delighted to have met a moneysaver! You can help him out with advice (IF it gets that to that stage)
3/ It's his car, he paid cash for it, is obviously flush and looking for a lovely woman with kids to have a ready made family he can treat and spend his money on (IF it gets that to that stage)
:rotfl:

Anyway, any number of things could happen. There's no point worrying about it. Just think of it as a nice night out and a chance to make a new friend. Just go and afterwards if he asks you out again, just explain that you would like to, but money is very tight with the kids etc, and you don't feel comfortable letting him pay all the time. Then he can reassure you that it is fine, or suggest a free activity (didn't he suggest meeting in the park already??), or he can run off and count his money! It doesn't sound as if it will be the last one from what he has said so far.

Threebabes

I wouldnt look too far ahead or worry about if's and maybe's.

Go to dinner and see what happens, one step at a time .........

Enjoy x

bunty109

Go for it!!! And let us all know how it goes!!

flower_72

When is it? When are you meeting him for dinner? Now that you've told us, you can't cancel. You have to go and let us know how it was.

snowmaid

galvanizersbaby wrote: »

I would think that if somebody went on and on about anything on a first date and talked constantly about one subject it could be a bit boring - be it kids, pets or sudoku! (or in the case of my work male colleague his yorkshire terrier 'Woody"):D
I don't see the need to go on and on about the fact you have a family when this guy is clearly well aware of the fact.
OP you don't sound like the sort of person that considers your children baggage either and your just going out with a chap thats asked you - you've not committed to marriage just yet!

Just go along and see - if you really haven't anything to wear PM me and I'll sort you out - you can't use that as an excuse not to go x

Looking at it in that way I guess you could be right....gawd.....my hubby must have REALLY wanted me! :rotfl::rotfl:

Glitzkiss

Taye wrote: »

wouldn't you be put off though if you realised a girl was barely able to pay her bills?

I dunno im just scared he's used to dating girls who can afford nice things, nice clothes taking care of themselves etc. Even if i do get some spare cash 99.999999% of the time it go's on the house or kids.

If things went futher chances are i'd spend most of my time going .. "oh sorry can't afford to go .. here.. or there" wouldn't that be a downer for someone who could afford to go out all the time?

I'd be put off a bloke who was only looking for someone who could afford materialistic things. If they can't appreciate living within your means, home cooking, good conversation and a wobbly bottom then tough :cool:

Wobbly bottom reference refers to me and not the OP