When to start dating again?

Errata

Hey - he could turn out to be a really, really good friend. A girl can't have too many of them. Especiallay if they're good at DIY

jinky67

Pee wrote: »

I'm just wondering, should you take the children?

I can see on the one hand the children are an important part of your life and whether you will want to be together may ultimately depend on how he and the children get on.

Or should you see him for a while without the children knowing and then introduce him?

(I don't have children, so I have no idea what is the right answer and thinking about it, I have met male friends children, relatives of boyfriends, and if I have never been seen again, I don't think the children thought it was weird, that was just the person we saw that one day...)

I didnt mean to introduce them, just meant as in a casual we will be in the park at such and such if you happen to appear:D

then if its boring/awkward whatever say "oh sorry I have to go now"


good on you for texting him:T:T:T:T:T

barnaby-bear

ringo_24601 wrote: »

Yes, go for it! Imagine what life will be like when they are teenagers and going out and about with you stuck at home lonely.

Did he know you had kids?

We have a similar situation with a relative - two sons, decided not to date again and didn't want her sons seeing a man who might leave come in. I feel quite sorry for the lads (now in their twenties) they worry endlessly about mum, go out of their way to try and take her out, have turned down opportunities to work abroad, one used his annual leave to take her away as she had no-one to go with, phone her lots and their partners ae fairly tolerant but it affects them and I think she feels a bit of a burden because she doesn't want this but can't stop them worrying. Having your own life can liberate kids to be able to have theirs and having a few male role models and even exposure to a failed relationship can help them pick up life skills. Going out for dinner with an adult is perfectly normal - might not be a romance but might end up a mate and he might introduce you to other people and everyone needs friends.

Horace

Well done for texting him...hope you have a fab time.

Life is too short to stay at home. My aunt did it when she got divorced, she also had the opportunity to move in with someone but didnt because she'd got kids - now these two kids have left home and where is she?...she is stuck at home with no-one saying if only...

So you go girl, you deserve it and your kids deserve it:T

Taye

Ok i got a reply and have agreed to go out with him on saturday, he's given me the choice Lunch or Dinner? what do you think?

I know i'm being very silly but im totally panicing here.. lunch is abit more casual so im thinking thats better right? i know it's not as if he's asked me to move in or anything i've just never done anything like this me and ex where together since our teens.. our first dates comprised of hanging out at the park with our mates.

shazrobo

i would choose lunch, as its more casual
when i met my current bf, we met for lunch, and carried on with lunch dates, and were good friends for the first six months, before we took it further,
incidentally, there is no wrong or right time to start dating again, after my divorce i had 2 tiny babies, and stayed single 9 years, but there comes a point like others have said, and as they get older they need you less

shaz x

barnaby-bear

Taye wrote: »

Ok i got a reply and have agreed to go out with him on saturday, he's given me the choice Lunch or Dinner? what do you think?

I know i'm being very silly but im totally panicing here.. lunch is abit more casual so im thinking thats better right? i know it's not as if he's asked me to move in or anything i've just never done anything like this me and ex where together since our teens.. our first dates comprised of hanging out at the park with our mates.

Both dinner and lunch with an adult are perfectly normal social situations, or even business ones.... the choice of either doesn't send out messages. Personally I think dinner is easier as there's a natural end - taxi/home, babysitter has to get home, natural end .... lunch is a bit fuzzy you are getting on well and don't actually have anywhere else to be.... if you want to make it clear the kids are your first priority say it's dinner/lunch because that's when you could get childcare....

NAR

Taye you are only young once, all men are not barstewards, go for an adult dinner and enjoy it - sounds like exactly what you have missing. Good luck.

Horace

I agree with Barnaby - definitely dinner as it has a more natural end to it. There's nowt wrong with two adults having dinner and its better than hanging around in the park (better food for one thing:D).

Alcmene

I'd go for dinner, you have more of an excuse to dress up and look fab! And of course you can always get an "emergency text" from the babysitter if it is needed.