When to start dating again?

NAR

Taye wrote: »

It's £106 he's spending, i did REALLY REALLY argue the point, but he just insisted and refused to take no for an answer. just kept insisting that it was no big deal and that he wanted to help.... still feel bad though im used to muddling though and i don't like feeling like a charity case.

Whoa right there lady. OK he is spending £106 but he is doing the work, with you, as he obviously wants to spend the time with you but also because he wants to help you feel better about your place (without saying it is a tip or such like!). I think it is a lovely gesture and £106 would just about cover the price of a meal for two in a fancy restaurant.

Oh my car's in the garage they are fixing it and they gave me a manual drive hire car NIGHTMARE!!! was horrid i was missing a pedal and it just felt WRONG.

Do you mean they gave you an automatic (with a pedal missing?)
I'm sure you will get used to it - just sit on your left leg!

shona_2

Wow - I've just read all 27 pages!!
What a roller-coaster ride and what great friends you have on here...

Any updates?

barnaby-bear

Errata wrote: »

OK - have you wondered why he seems to be a little overeager to make a good impression ? Lack of confidence? Or, as I posted pages back, he doesn't have a good understanding of boundaries.
Look at it this way: if he was chatting to you about how he was going to rearrange all the contents of his kitchen cupboards and larder and he seemed a bit clueless about it, would you jump in and rearrange them for him? Without first agreeing that he'd very much like you to do it for him?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0276751/

barnaby-bear

k2tog wrote: »

Re the date: Perfect :j
Re the garden: I think he is trying to help out and impress you. And let's not forget Dave likes toys - he gets to play with a mini digger thingy

To be honest that's what I thought - cool...... a digger :cool:

Can I suggest here http://www.diggerland.com/ for a day out....

jinky67

barnaby-bear wrote: »

To be honest that's what I thought - cool...... a digger :cool:

Can I suggest here http://www.diggerland.com/ for a day out....

I would love to go to Diggerland:o

barnaby-bear

jinky67 wrote: »

I would love to go to Diggerland:o

It's my favourite theme park No nasty cartoon things and DIGGERS and everything like food is reasonable and there are DIGGERS, I'm hinting digger racing would be the perfect gift for my not far of 35th..... they even let the kids dig and drive (but not together)

glossgal

Bebsie wrote: »

How nasty! Are you a man hater :cool:

In defense of Errata, they like everyone else, have given lots of advice and encouragement to OP on the thread so i don't think they have an agenda.

I'm really pleased things are working out for Taye but lets get some perspective please-Dave is a man, not a saint! any comments about him showing potentially controlling traits are totally valid given he was getting a bit pushy with the boyfriend/'gizza kiss' thing early in the thread and OP's past and general nervousness about starting a new relationship. Pointing this out, especially when OP brought it up first, is not bad imho it shows concern if anything.

sarymclary

Taye, I was married to an IT contractor, and my F-i-L was one too. My ex earned approx. £600 p/day, his father's average rate was £750. If you're good, then you get paid well. It's easy to accumulate a lot of £ in a short space of time, and my ex drew a minimum of £50 p/day as 'pocket money'. Believe me, £100 won't even be noticed.

Dave probably sees that using the right tools will get the job done efficiently. He's possibly a good problem solver, and thinks in a logical way. If he didn't have the cash, yes, he'd have to do the hard slog. I bet there aren't many callouses on those hands, as a rule, IT contractors don't do 'manual'!

Enjoy, and I'm sure both of you will have a great time working on a project together. By the end of the weekend you'll be standing there admiring your handywork!

Taye

Eeeeeek i hope he's not earning £650-£750 a day ... that would mean he earns per day more than i do a month .. ugh.

I really have no clue what he earns i haven't ventured to ask it somehow doens't seem polite, besides i don't want him thinking im after his money cause im not. I know he must earn quite abit (judging by his house etc) and im guessing he has savings because it doens't seem to bother him at all that he's currently bettween contracts.

Tbh i know he offered but i just feel bad, im not someone who takes handouts easily and although im sure his intentions are honerable it still makes me feel like im taking advantage of his kindness.

I just like to pay my share and while the logical rational side of my brain tells me that not everything should come down to money it's harder to belive it when someone else keeps doing the paying!!

Also Stupid things are playing on my mind, he's nice i like him but i can't help but feel im somehow doing wrong by him.

I realise it is VERY VERY early days and i really should just focus on the now. But i'm pretty sure we both want compleatly different things out of life. It's niggling at the back of my head, telling me to call it off while things are still fun, before they get serious.

Calling it off after falling for the guy would be soooooo much harder, im just not sure im being fair on him.

Make sence?

tattycath

Taye wrote: »

Eeeeeek i hope he's not earning £650-£750 a day ... that would mean he earns per day more than i do a month .. ugh.
don't even think about it-it's not important

I really have no clue what he earns i haven't ventured to ask it somehow doens't seem polite, besides i don't want him thinking im after his money cause im not. I know he must earn quite abit (judging by his house etc) and im guessing he has savings because it doens't seem to bother him at all that he's currently bettween contracts.


Tbh i know he offered but i just feel bad, im not someone who takes handouts easily and although im sure his intentions are honerable it still makes me feel like im taking advantage of his kindness.
You're not taking advantage-he offered, he wants to spend time with you without you worrying his intentions aren't honourable-if he didn't want to do this he wouldn't be doing it.

I just like to pay my share and while the logical rational side of my brain tells me that not everything should come down to money it's harder to belive it when someone else keeps doing the paying!!
Yes and that's great but sometimes we should just accept things with good grace-he's not doing it coz he thinks you're a charity, he's doing it because he wants to
Also Stupid things are playing on my mind, he's nice i like him but i can't help but feel im somehow doing wrong by him.
he's a big boy and you're not doing wrong by him

I realise it is VERY VERY early days and i really should just focus on the now. But i'm pretty sure we both want compleatly different things out of life. It's niggling at the back of my head, telling me to call it off while things are still fun, before they get serious.
Yes focussing on the here and now is a good idea. How do you know you both want different things, have you asked him?

Calling it off after falling for the guy would be soooooo much harder, im just not sure im being fair on him.
Just enjoy it for what it is and time will tell whether things are gonna get serious or not-just don't force it either way iykwim


Make sence?

Hope this helps