When to start dating again?

aligerdie

I absolutely *love* this thread!!

Not seen it before, but have just read the whole thing straight through (when I'm supposed to be doing housework ) and I'm going to subscribe for more updates!!

He sounds absolutely golden, and you deserve someone to look after you.

Are you going to get him to help you with the flowerbeds?! gives you chance to check out his muscles!!

xxlaurissaxx

Im the same as Aligerdie. Ive never read this thread until today and have just read the whole lot at work. Im sooooo happy for you!!!!

He sounds amazing!

(Please dont headbutt him again tho! :rotfl: It made me laugh really loudly at my work! when the office was silent eek!)

How do you subscribe to a thread? I want to keep up with whats happening.


Please keep us updated with everything. It is like a love story you read in a book that you cant put down!

xLx

jinky67

click on thread tools ^^^^^^^^ and click on subscribe

Heath84

:j:j:j:j
Go Taye! Im so pleased for you and Dave, he really does seem lovely I'm so glad its working out!!

Oh and did you ever find out if he had a brother...:rotfl::D

Taye

Hmmm ok,

things are fine don't stress haha.... Dave has kindly volenteer'ed to help with the garden .. yay :j

He popped around this afternoon (slacker unemployed bum) and has taken a quick look (frankly i think i may have just been an excuse to see me but i liked it so i don't care )

according to his dad (who he spoke to on the phone about it) my master plan for building raised beds sucks! and Dave has come to the conclusion it needs doing properly .. Hmm.... and has totally taken over!!. there i was planning on just going at the garden with a spade and suddenly he's booked and paid for diggers,turf cutters all sorts!!!!

Now while my inital reaction is to be abit concerned that he's taken over i do realise that he's still trying to make a good impression and perhaps his overeagerness is just part of this??

tell me it's ok right??

granted to be fair i was just going to blindly hack at it and see what happened my gardening skills are somewhat limited, while he seems to "think" he knows what he's doing.

I dunno i feel funny kinda defencive? is it normal? or am i just being all "independent" and not used to having someone try and look after me?

BeenieCat

I understand why you'd feel that way but he obviously really wants to do something that seems like the "man's job" and wants to look after you, he's probably loving the chance to do something like this for someone, plus if his house is as nice as it is then he'll no doubt enjoy some OS traditional gardening!

Errata

No, you're not being defensive. He's taking over. Presumably he's going to pay for all the materials and wages. If he isn't, you're in debt. If he is, you're going to be seriously in his debt.
I get the feeling he's used to having his own way, but a relationship is all about partnership, discussion, negotiation, and give and take on both sides.
It seems like one more instance of him putting pressure on you which may not bode well for the future.

Taye

Errata wrote: »

No, you're not being defensive. He's taking over. Presumably he's going to pay for all the materials and wages. If he isn't, you're in debt. If he is, you're going to be seriously in his debt.
I get the feeling he's used to having his own way, but a relationship is all about partnership, discussion, negotiation, and give and take on both sides.
It seems like one more instance of him putting pressure on you which may not bode well for the future.

He's not hired "people" just machines... erm a turf cutter and little digger thingy, (apparently a spade isn't good enough) he plans to do the work himself.

I dunno i didnt really get the impression he was trying to take over more that he was just being alittle over eager trying to make a good impression.

but heck what do i know??!

rach29

Taye, I think it's most likely he's trying to make a good impression. He's obviously picked up on your enthusiasm and wants to help out.

He's used to having money and so spending out on something like this is a drop in the ocean to him.

Let him do this for/with you and then thank hi nicely but make it clear that you don't want/need him to spend £££'s on you. That you like him for him.

If he's anything like the IT contractors I know he'll be used to spending quite extravagantly, you just need to let him know nicely that it isn't necessary.

Errata

OK - have you wondered why he seems to be a little overeager to make a good impression ? Lack of confidence? Or, as I posted pages back, he doesn't have a good understanding of boundaries.
Look at it this way: if he was chatting to you about how he was going to rearrange all the contents of his kitchen cupboards and larder and he seemed a bit clueless about it, would you jump in and rearrange them for him? Without first agreeing that he'd very much like you to do it for him?