When to start dating again?

barnaby-bear

Taye wrote: »

tbh i go to work and go home thats pretty much the highlight of my life i've got a couple of friends but no-one really close, work colleages or gym friends thats about it, ive never been to any of thier houses anything like that.

And this could be the start of changing that state of affairs.
This isn't particularly healthy long term, particularly for your kids. As I said in an earlier post - I know someone who carried on with this for decades and now she has two very nice lads who worry constantly about mum and it stops them feeling free to have their own lives. Showing your kids that life can get better and people move on is good. Meeting new people and making friends is good. That one day they won't have the niggling worry that if they aren't talking to/with you you'll be sitting alone. Knowing and seeing you are capable of having your own lives means they can go out and see the world knowing there are lots of good things in your life and it isn't down to them to provide your only reason to be.

LilDevil

rach29 wrote: »

Aww, Taye I've been reading this thread & it's made me go all gooey

It's made me go all gooey as well, I really hope you go, I also wish I was nearer as I'd babysit too!

Bebsie

Aww Tayne, I've been getting tears in my eyes reading this thread! I wish you the best of luck and please try relax and enjoy yourself!

marksandsparksgal

You MUST go! He sounds like an absolute sweetheart.

Pweeeeeeeeeeeeez?!

littlemissmoney

I'm totally gripped by this thread!

You HAVE to stop making excuses (cos that's what they are). If you don't want to involve the kids (which I totally understand) then either meet him at lunch times, rather than going to the gym, or invite him to yours after the kids are in bed. The former seems much easier and more relaxed.

I have everything crossed for you! xxx

k2tog

Taye wrote: »

Do you not think it's irresponsible for me to introduce my kids to a man i barely know? well i know him we work out alot but you know what i mean?

My two penn'orth -

Not if he is introduced as a friend, or someone you know from the gym.

Sorry, been lurking on your thread for a while - how exciting!

Edit to say - several others beat me to it!

Taye

I've blown it.....

Went to the gym everything was fine, well up untill my boss from work showed up ... long story he's a pain in my !!!, kept making stupid faces and generally giggling like a school girl from across the gym while i was working out with the guy... talk about off putting. Made even worse by the fact that exibit A was being touchie again, like super touchie..and my boss cottened on to it STRAIGHT away and finds the whole thing highly amusing. ok i can handle that.

We finish our workout and go for a quick coffee before i have to get back to work... while .. (i can't keep calling him THE GUY!)...anyway you get the point, he go's to the counter to order while im sitting there and i get a text....

I look over there he is with a stupid big grin, i look at the text.

"I really want to kiss you, but im scared you'll run off if i try"

Guess what i do??

Yup you got it, pick up my bag and run out the door ... seriously NOT COOL!!

you know im Soooo mad at myself, i like this guy alot why the hell can't i get my act together?? i havn't been with a man in 7 !!!!!!!g years surely im kinda overdue?!

He's texted me a few times since appologising but i haven't managed to think up a suitable reply, i've spent half the night crying.. rationally i know i have to get over this but, i don't want it to rule me. I can't spend the next 50 years of my life living like a nun just because my ex thought sex was some sort of god given right to be gained though any means he felt like at the time.

I just can't seem to get it together and i know this guy is going to get seriously fed up sooner rather than later.

I've totally blown it.

littlemissmoney

Hi Taye

Firstly, please calm down and don't be so hard on yourself! :grouphug:

He must be really worried he has really upset you! Why not just send a short text just to put his mind at ease? Tell him that you haven't been with a man for 7 years and am totally freaked out. And your sorry? Then get a good nights sleep, try not to worry, and see how you feel in the morning?

:grouphug:

k2tog

Oh Taye! You need to talk to this guy. Perhaps you could meet at the gym tomorrow for a coffee and not do the work-out thing. From everything you have said so far, he sounds like a lovely, patient fella. If you let him know that you like him but are terrified he will have more of an understanding otherwise he might fill in the blanks himself and decide you don't like him. This seems like it's really overwhelming for you and the boss being there probably didn't help. I can imagine how daunting it feels after so long but please try to relax abit about it because this could be something wonderful for you.

Heath84

seriously as someone else suggested, send the text telling him to just kiss you the next time he sees you before you get the chance to run away again! perhaps adding in the reason why you ran away this time so he understands!
He sounds lovely still, he has still text you to apologise, he hasnt just ignored you and thought ***k it has he??