When to start dating again?

zimm143

Taye - as I said before the kids will be fine! So their mum takes them out with her new mate, really kids have got other stuff to worry about, like what's cool at school or whatever. If they never see mum's new friend again they won't give a stuff! Remember how interested you were in your parents' social life?

He offered to take you out, that means he pays. If you are stressed about the cost say you can't afford it and offer a cheap/free alternative - bet he texts back "my treat".

This blokes sounds amazing!!

zimm143

Sorry - meant to say "uninterested in parents' social life"

Heath84

Do the kids have any school friends they could go to for tea? Even if its just for an hour or so that would mean you could go out for a drink with him without him meeting the kids? He does sound lovely and seems like hes trying really hard to be able to spend time with you!
Whereabouts do you live Taye?

Taye

Im in the northwest unfortunatly my kids and me are sort of isolated, i drop them off at school in the car i don't even get out, and i pick them up after most of the parents have left so i don't really have any contact with other mums.

There are a couple of kids in the street they play with but i know it's really bad to say but i can't honestly say i know any of the parents to even say hello too, know them by sight and not much else.

tbh i go to work and go home thats pretty much the highlight of my life i've got a couple of friends but no-one really close, work colleages or gym friends thats about it, ive never been to any of thier houses anything like that.

Ok i've texted him back and suggested the park on saturday or sunday, his reply was.

"is this about money?"

I've replied saying "sort of" (yeah i know i suck! didn't know what else to say)

His response "don't be silly, i'm paying" (yaya i know ... go on say it?! you'll feel better)

zimm143

Whoop whoop! Does this mean you are going? Say yes!

tiff

My sister met someone after her divorce and her DS was 4. She wasnt ready for a relationship but said they could be friends which went on for a while (he was hoping the friends status would change) and it did eventually and now they are married. Take it one step (one date) at a time. Introduce him to the kids as a friend as others have said. You sound like me, throwing up all sorts of reasons to NOT do something! You are entitled to a life and its been a while since you dated, you just need to adjust to this new way of life to make it possible

TeetersOnHeels

Hi Taye!
Have been following your thread and willing you on! I do know how you feel, although my son is now 14, so I can get out a bit more than before. But I did turn down offers of drinks through lack of babysitters/not wanting to introduce anyone to him etc when he was younger - and now he's had a girlfriend for over a year and I'm the one sat at home twiddling my thumbs :rolleyes:
He sounds caring, considerate, and definately worth giving a chance, and as others have said, just take it a day at a time. I'm sure he'll appreciate your honesty about not rushing into meeting the kids - although I do think the play area pub/bowling are great idea's
Oh, and let him treat you! You deserve it!!!!

BrokeBrunette

ok, I'm a single parent and I've been following this thread with major interest. I TOTALLY understand where you are coming from about him meeting the kids etc, and the money issue, but this man isn't a total stranger you've just met in a bar or club.

You work out with him at the gym and from what you've told us he sounds like a very, very decent man. Just look on it that you may have found a new friend and if anything else develops it's a bonus. You've already told him you want to take things slowly and it sounds like he's more than happy to do so.

The kids will be totally preoccupied with playing and there is nothing wrong with you taking them to meet a friend for a meal etc. Let him pay for you and accept his offer graciously. It's not like you're going to be jumping on him over dessert is it

JUST DO IT TAYE, please, and don't forget to keep us all informed on here. This is by far my favourite thread on MSE right now.

No decent man would be put off by you having no money, nice clothes etc. It sounds like he's interested in you for all the right reasons and not the wrong ones.

If you lived nearer me I'd babysit occasionally for you but unfortunately I'm the other end of the country.

Good luck xx

NAR

I can feel the need to write a new Mills and Boone coming on!

Lunar_Eclipse

Taye wrote: »

Do you not think it's irresponsible for me to introduce my kids to a man i barely know? well i know him we work out alot but you know what i mean?

If you did it all the time, yes. But not in this instance. You will be in public for starters, doing something you should all enjoy. It sounds like it will be a nice treat for the kids too.

If you really don't want the children involved yet, just find a babysitting solution. I have friends who use a national agency ('Sitters' I think), not cheap but shouldn't break the bank either - just live off beans and toast for the next couple of weeks!

You only get one life Taye; enjoy it.