When to start dating again?

jinky67

Taye wrote: »

Hmmm he's just sent me a text...

He wants to know if i like him, he says that he doens't want to push me if im not interested but he's not sure where he stands and he doens't want to annoy me by chasing me around if all i want is a gym buddy.

Ugh.. well i guess the obvious answer is to text back and tell him that i do like him right?

Why does this have to be so damn complicated, yaya i know people are gonna say it's not but really it is, i just don't know what to do..

Ok fine i admit it, i know i have.. erm issues.. i think is the nice term. My ex was more than alittle abusive and though i deal daily with the way it left me, im not sure i can cope with the intimacy a relationship involves, i really don't fancy having to explain my past.

Having a relationship is hard on so many levels i don't have alot of family, i only really speak to my dad and sister and they live a fair distance away so i have to deal with most things alone.. which long story short means i have no babysitters bar perhaps once every few months if im lucky.

I dunno maybe im being irrational but i just dont feel ready to introduce him to my kids or invite him into my home ... the thought of being alone with him terrify's me and im just not sure i can make this dating thing work right now.

see nice guy:A

text him back hun please...he sounds like a keeper:T

tell him you like him.

and you dont need to go into detail but let him know you have issues and you would like to take things slowly:cool:

If he is the guy I think he is.....he will be willing to do that.

Do it now and report back:D

And yes I am bossy :rotfl:

swiss69

Taye,

It is complicated for you and your ex has clearly shattered your self esteem.

If this was me i would be willing to listen to you and then work at your pace if I really liked you. I am sure he will be the same.

Text him and say you do like him but feel a bit overwhelmed with everything and would really like to get to know him a bit better before jumping into anything too heavy -(Its much easier to text this than say it!).

He will then know not to rush things with you and perhaps you could suggest a few non threatening dates such as a walk in the park or just a coffee somewhere so you can chat and explain how you feel. If nothing else it will be nice for you to be able to explain this to someone.

Dont let a potential partner or if nothing else good friend slip through your grasp without at least trying to overcome some of the issues you have.

If he is a good man he will wait and be patient with you.

Good luck!

[Deleted User]

You need to speak to him. He sounds like a lovely guy, please put him out of his misery. Explain that you want to get to know him better but want to take things slowly because of 'xyz' I am sure he will understand. Don't feel like you have to take him home/to meet your kids, that will come if/when your friendship develops into something special.

littlemissmoney

Text back saying you like him, but it's complicated, your nervous, and you want to take things slowly Do it now! Put the poor guy out of his misery - he sounds lovely!!

bluebell13

jinky67 wrote: »

see nice guy:A

text him back hun please...he sounds like a keeper:T

tell him you like him.

and you dont need to go into detail but let him know you have issues and you would like to take things slowly:cool:

If he is the guy I think he is.....he will be willing to do that.

Do it now and report back:D

And yes I am bossy :rotfl:

##

I agree! You're giving him mixed messages and he wants to know that he's not upsetting you. Explain that you need to take things very slowly. Its always difficult in life to change things and its often easier to 'stick with what you know'.......but not always best in the long run.

Taye

i can't even go on "none" threatening dates ... my life revolves around chasing my kids everywhere, i don't have babysitters so i can jaunt off to have a good time. Im just not sure how i can make it work.

Quackers

Ditto what everyone else says.

And dont forget to keep us updated

We want/NEED updates.....lmao

jinky67

Taye wrote: »

i can't even go on "none" threatening dates ... my life revolves around chasing my kids everywhere, i don't have babysitters so i can jaunt off to have a good time. Im just not sure how i can make it work.

Are there no neighbours or friends you can ask....even if its only for an hour?

[Deleted User]

Taye ~ you can still see him at the gym and maybe for a coffee afterwards, please don't push him away. I am in a similar position (except I haven't got anyone yet), you don't want to be on your own, believe me. You need to tell him what you can and can't do from day one, if he is as good as he sounds he will respect that. Good luck!

Quackers

Taye wrote: »

i can't even go on "none" threatening dates ... my life revolves around chasing my kids everywhere, i don't have babysitters so i can jaunt off to have a good time. Im just not sure how i can make it work.

You are making excuses because you are scared.

How do you find time to go to the Gym?

Sorry if I sound harsh - I dont want to be

But I think you are trying to dig your way out of it.

If you are really not ready for it then fine - tell him that.

But if you like him & you want to give it a shot then tell him. Explain that you want to take things slowly & are nervous about starting a new relationship.

If you like him you will find/make time. And if it meant to work out then it will. If he is the man for you he will be patient and understanding.

Relax....

or as my daughter would say 'Chill your beans Muvver'