When to start dating again?

jinky67

Taye wrote: »

haha you guys make me laugh.
thats what we are here for to make you laugh and see the error of your ways:p

i just feel totally out of my depth, this really isn't the sort of guy thats likely to have spent much time single and as much as he seems really nice i can't help but feel he won't hang around for school girl hysteric's for too long, i know that sounds really bad and im not saying that he's "that" sort of guy but seriously we are grown ups i can't keep freaking out like this.

You are right it does sound bad.

Listen to me lady:D

This guy wants you, he has been a perfect gentleman. :A

STOP FREAKING OUT.:mad::mad::mad::mad:

Talk to him about it, tell him you feel rather freaked out by it, and by your own reactions:rotfl:...........he will not run away.

Have I ever lied to you?:cool::p

NAR

Taye, he will have noticed your reactions to him I'm sure. I bet he is soooo flattered that he can do that to a person as lovely as you.
I agree with others - get that first kiss out of the way as see how happy you feel then.

Taye

I dunno maybe im stressing over nothing, he just seemed abit more "hand-y" at the gym today.. not that he was inappropriate, just kind felt like he was lingering abit if that makes sence, kinda felt like sometimes he was there for more than giving me help with my lifts.

I don't know maybe im just paranoid, he's invited me to dinner at his place at the weekend and said he'd cook. I've told him i can't make it, which is the truth no-way ill find a baby sitter 2 weeks running but anyway dinner at his place just seems abit to intimate, not many places for me to run and hide if i'm alone with him in his house.

jinky67

Taye wrote: »

I dunno maybe im stressing over nothing, he just seemed abit more "hand-y" at the gym today.. not that he was inappropriate, just kind felt like he was lingering abit if that makes sence, kinda felt like sometimes he was there for more than giving me help with my lifts.

I don't know maybe im just paranoid, he's invited me to dinner at his place at the weekend and said he'd cook. I've told him i can't make it, which is the truth no-way ill find a baby sitter 2 weeks running but anyway dinner at his place just seems abit to intimate, not many places for me to run and hide if i'm alone with him in his house.

If he is *touching* you it means he likes you.....and yes you are stressing over nothing:D

Well why not ask him to yours.....at a time after the kids are in bed of course:cool:

b3nton

"i seriously can't see what this guy see's in me"
That's the wrong attitude. You need to forget about beliefs like this, they will only hold you back.
Believe me, I was the same for many years.

rach29

Aww, Taye I've been reading this thread & it's made me go all gooey

When you had dinner you talked a lot & you've told us a lot about him, but how much did you tell him about you? Did you tell him your ex was your only ever boyfriend?

He sounds like a fab bloke, and I'm sure he'll understand if you tell him how you are feeling. How about giving him a call later when the kids are in bed & talking this through?

If you find it difficult to say out loud, how about texting & getting him to log on to MSN for a chat? It might be easier written down so to speak?

Don't give up on him or yourself, Ok so you can't make dinner at his house but what about meeting for coffee again or for that walk in the park?

Good Luck

samuelthomson240

wanted to date but never really tried wonder if its worth doing 39 and single and wonder any tips ?

Quackers

Taye wrote: »

I don't think 2nd date is really the time for working on his pants.. geeze

i've only ever been with one man in that respect and as much as my friends think the whole thing is highly amusing and joke that my ex could have been doing anything with me and i wouldn't know the difference. I guess in all fairness they really arn't wrong (well i have 2 kids so i know something was right but you get the picture ).

I was only kidding - but I'm sure you know that

I'd only been with my Ex too - so after 19years together meeting someone else sort of scared the life out of me too - but I also was really looking forward to it too :rotfl: So I only waited a few months :cool:

Honestly, please dont stress yourself out over the 'what if's & the maybe's'.

Just go with the flow and do what feels right and most of all JUST ENJOY whatever happens & believe in yourself

swiss69

Taye

As a male it is clear from what you have said that this man wants to see you! His hands probably did linger a bit as he fancies you and wants you to know it!

Try and find a babysitter and get over to his or suggest an alternative that you maybe can do.

At the moment he is just hearing "no" and will probably be a bit confused by the way you are acting. You need to explain to him why you are scared etc..He will understand and act slowly to gain your confidence.

Its natural that you are scared but you only live once and you will regret it if you dont find out if this has any mileage!

You really need to start believing in yourself and look in the mirror and say "Yes I can see why he fancies me", Its clear your ex has lowered your self esteem considerably.

Its time to start rebuilding it again and he sounds like a nice man.

Life is all about taking chances and who knows it might lead to nothing but if you dont give someone a chance then it will definately lead to nothing.

Your kids will grow up and fly the nest and if you haven't dated by that time then it will be so much more difficult.

Life can be lonely on your own! Go for it......

Taye

Hmmm he's just sent me a text...

He wants to know if i like him, he says that he doens't want to push me if im not interested but he's not sure where he stands and he doens't want to annoy me by chasing me around if all i want is a gym buddy.

Ugh.. well i guess the obvious answer is to text back and tell him that i do like him right?

Why does this have to be so damn complicated, yaya i know people are gonna say it's not but really it is, i just don't know what to do..

Ok fine i admit it, i know i have.. erm issues.. i think is the nice term. My ex was more than alittle abusive and though i deal daily with the way it left me, im not sure i can cope with the intimacy a relationship involves, i really don't fancy having to explain my past.

Having a relationship is hard on so many levels i don't have alot of family, i only really speak to my dad and sister and they live a fair distance away so i have to deal with most things alone.. which long story short means i have no babysitters bar perhaps once every few months if im lucky.

I dunno maybe im being irrational but i just dont feel ready to introduce him to my kids or invite him into my home ... the thought of being alone with him terrify's me and im just not sure i can make this dating thing work right now.