Wedding list - no obligation, however ...

weeclick

Valli wrote: »

But weeclick - you're not asking for anything ... you are giving someone else, who would like to buy you a gift.. ideas of what you would like...
it's not like you've gone up to them out of the blue and said 'I want...'
I would far rather buy someone a gift I know they would appreciate. Rather than lumber them with something they didn't want then sold on or gave away.

Yeh I suppose - but just hard to put it in writing without it sounding rude or presumptous? I agree I would rather buy something someone needs and wants than something they will never use but I suppose its finding the right balance as to how to put it!

weeclick

jumpingjackd wrote: »

My daughter is getting married on 28th of this month and she decided against a list, which I was glad about as I personally dont like them. As other posters have said, guests generally ask the parents what they need or want.
However, her h2b family have said she has to get a list made up.

its not really up to them though, I hope your daughter sticks to what she thinks is best!!

rinroo

We are not having a gift list, nor are we mentioning gifts to anyone. The way I see it, the only people invited to our wedding are our close friends/family so they should know us well enough to know what we would like/need. My bridesmaids, grooms men and family have been told no gift list will be made as no gifts are required.

Dreamy

We had a gift list but didn't mention it on our invites if anyone asked they where directed that way which worked really well we also ASKED tallented people ie chef sister sorted cake best man drove us to the reception in his nice car would it be possible for them to give there time and tallents to make your day special how about

If you have the time and/or tallent
from amature photography to zipping about
we would really appreciate you helping us out

I to hate buying presents that are useless or unwanted and it would drive me crackers if when asked every year my sis/mum/dad said nothing I wouldn't ask If I didn't want to know If people ask me I tend to say vouchers for a specific place (upto them how much they spend) or if I know them well enought I will ask how much they where planning to spend and tell them a few ideas in that price range (normally mum nan ect) Id much rather be given something I want then annoy other people and get given yet another bath set I still haven't used all the ones of the parents from my work place 2 xmas' ago !

burnoutbabe

It would annoy me if i had to hunt around for a wedding list when a friend gets married.

Having it on the A-z list that comes with the invite is fine. When its my birthday people ask what i want and i'd tell them a game or something. And i'd never dream of going to a wedding without a gift, even if its just a gift voucher or a (probably what everyone else gets) photo frame.

i don't know any of my friends parernts (and why would i, we're in our 30s) so we'd have a situation where they send out the invite, i respond, i then have to ask for the list, they'd say "ohhh no need to get us anything", i'd say well i want to and then they give me the list. Daft.

I would have no idea what my best mates wants/needs in terms of a wedding gift (to her and hubby) so a list is ideal. And you can always ignore it if you want.

then again me and my family all have amazon wish lists set up for birthdays/xmas so we are used to buying things off a list.

baby_fuzz

My friend had a wedding list, and she had to stuff the invitations herself to include and exclude certain inserts depending on who it was going to. burnoutbabe's right - younger people are generally happier to buy off lists.

svjenni

i've never had an invite without a git list mention, likewise never been to a wedding with a free bar. I think this is possibly a generational thing. I am gonna put the cards in from John Lewis without drawing attention to it by writing anything else.

I might offend a few of the older folks but i'm taking the risk as some really won't know what to get us, and my mum doesn't really "get" me so I can't trust her to tell people when they ask- we aren't having much on our list and we have pretty much everything anyway

dizziblonde

We're not having a gift list - I'm not getting married to net a tonne of presents - if anyone asks what we want I'll possibly point them in the direction of Ikea gift vouchers as I'd like to get the mismatched bedroom furniture issue somewhat more unified, but I don't care if we get seven toasters to be honest - things come in useful sooner or later (my mum's finally exhausted the coffee percolator stockpile from when she got remarried a decade ago)!

I've posted before about a relative whose wording on her invites about refusing gifts or vouchers really really has offended me - but that was mainly a combination of my personal dislike of people requesting cash and very bad wording. That issue's not been resolved yet but the wedding of the century is a good while away yet. Personally I think if you're requesting cash it's nice to give people an alternative as it DOES get a fair few people's backs up - even though lots will jump for it as it's an easier option.

For some reason the parents are obsessed with the fact we don't have any crystal glasses - I don't see this national obsession with crystal glasses at all (I have a bloke who could break anything which may be the reason)! Second thought - I may put a "no crystal cos he'll only break it" clause in somewhere! (this is the man who ended up in A+E doing the laundry)

niknaknoo1982

sexki11en wrote: »

Clearer head this morning - We're not going to include them either. Most people know us well enough to ask.....

niknaknoo1982 - have a fab day, hope the sun is shining where you are.

SK x

It was nice on the morning but did start raining as we came out of the wedding venue :eek: Meaning we had to kind of rush the photo's on the stairs that lead outside of it

I got mainly money as gifts from majority of people...but also got a set of bride and groom mugs with matching coasters, a bottle of wine, a bottle of champagne, a photo frame, 2 sets of champagne flutes - One set plain and the other saying bride and groom, several keepsakes (Horseshoe) Choccies etc.. My sister paid the hairdresser for me on the day as a gift

Taadaa

I think that lots of couples ask for money these days. I would rather be asked for money than to have to chose the cheapest thing from a really expensive gift list. I have to say it depends on the couple though. I am attending a wedding next month for a couple who have asked for money and I feel really put out by it as we hardly see them and when we do they are always banging on about how much money they have got. I have got a wedding this month and htey have asked for vouchers; if they had asked for money I would have gladly given it because I know they aren't expecting it. I am undecided whether to bother asking for anything as myself and my partner have lived together for about 5 years, however mymum was quite shocked at the thought of not having one.
The bottom line is, you can't please everyone. If someone gets so shocked they rip the invite up, well then the clearly don't know you very well and in that case, just as well they aren't coming. It might help if you say you want money for a specific reason, like a rug or whatever.