Wedding list - no obligation, however ...

bandraoi

I could avoid people asking what we wanted as a present 100 times over.

This is pretty unlikely, and tbh is a small price to pay for avoiding rudeness.
Most guests will ask among themselves, or if they know a family member will ask them.
Your wedding party, siblings and parents should know anyway.

Your aunts and uncles will probably just ask your parents.
Your cousins would ask your aunts and uncles.
Your friends will ask each other so once one of them knows the answer, it will all get passed along.
Work colleagues, you'll find the same thing happening.

kelda_shelton

how about directing them towards a weddingpath site youve made up?

I'm going t do that saying...

For more information, including directions, hotel & accommodation details, please see http://xxxxxx.weddingpath.co.uk/

and then in that I'll ahve directions etc etc but also a note that we dont want presents cos we aklready have everything cos we live together but if you want to get us something vouchers for trailfinders would be good.

kazwookie

The last wedding I went to the couple asked for B & Q vouchers, as they were doing up the bathroom / shower room, for them it seem to work well, as they could then buy what they wanted.

Good luck for your day

gracie83

I had the same problem with wording. In the end we just did not mention anything about gifts. A couple of people have asked and we just said would be grateful for anything but as we have been a couple for so long we have everything we need so did not set up wedding list. Most people faced with this said cash then!! Still I have 5 weeks left so I don't know what everyone has done yet!

baby_fuzz

I'm sure I've seen somewhere that you can get a honeymoon with a travel agents, and then give a code for your guests, and they can contribute towards it. That way, they might feel like they are gifting you something - rather than paying for their meal...

*Louise*

I would leave all of it out.

I didn't put any mention of gifts in my invites, and most people have asked our mothers about gifts and they have said that money would be appreciated.

People aren't daft - if there's no gift list then it's obvious that cash is best.

ps_live

rachfriar78 wrote: »

I know you aren't asking for presents etc but the way it reads is you want people to contribute before the wedding. Have you seen the fancy donation boxes they do on confetti and place like that?

Hi rachfriar, its not meant to read that way, I don't like the idea of a donations box and I'm sure my partner won't either.

I DO want to write something, its just wording it correctly thats frustrating. I'm starting to lean towards "your presence is our present".

I think bandraoi is right in that you could tell close family and friends/colleagues that if they want to give us something, money or vouchers would be most suitable and it'll soon get round everyone else. Crikey, its not like there will be 500 people there.

robnye

baby_fuzz wrote: »

I'm sure I've seen somewhere that you can get a honeymoon with a travel agents, and then give a code for your guests, and they can contribute towards it. That way, they might feel like they are gifting you something - rather than paying for their meal...

my neice (who is getting married this saturday)
added a separate note within the wedding invite (which included directions etc)
to say that as they lived together in their own flat, they did not want any gifts, but if people felt that they wanted to give, then they could donate via the travel agents they had used to book thier honeymoon, who would then pass the total amount onto them whilst they are away

trailfinders is who they used

aimee21j

I wouldn't put anything. Sorry if I offend, but requests for any kind of 'gift' irritate me and I certainly won't be putting it on my invite.

snugglepants

Mentioning gifts is an absolute etiquette no-no.

Traditionally, guests would ask the bride's (?) parents what the couple would like, and the parents would have their ideas/gift list details.

I feel that mentioning gifts, in any sense of the word, in the invite or details of a gift list in the envelope, is rude. Most people won't even be thinking about whether they're going to buy a gift when they receive the invite, plus it doesn't make the receiver of the invite feel as inclined to (in my personal experience anyway - received an invite the other week with not just the registry details but a note all but saying "buy us a gift. if not, give us money!")

I think people will have the common sense to ask either sets of parents or yourselves if they want to get you a gift. This has happened with us, but we don't want people to feel the need to get us gifts as we have everything we need. So they've been told if they feel the need to "get" us anything, then their talents would be greatly appreciated or to make/get a little something personal.

I hope none of this has come across as harsh as it's not intended to be. Just my humble opinion