Wedding list - no obligation, however ...

Magpye

You're not going to be able to please everyone, regardless of the wording. So I would be inclined to go with wording that pleases you. (Some of my family got very sniffy with me because my invites were, heaven forbid, hand-made.)

One of my friends requested holiday vouchers on her invites, which I couldn't afford, so I gave her some cash instead. It never crossed my mind to be offended. We, on the other hand, specifically requested no gifts - at all - and still got the usual presents of towels, towels, more towels, glasses (which I liked, because they are shiny and I am a magpie ) and for some reason, about a cwt of photo frames. Kind of wish we had the sense to just request cash or vouchers.

snugglepants

Magpye wrote: »

(Some of my family got very sniffy with me because my invites were, heaven forbid, hand-made.) .

:eek: :eek: :eek:

I hope none of my family were offended by this *starts to feel paranoid* !!!

That was one of the best things we've done so far - and I bet yours were wonderful too. I looooove handmade things

ps_live

Thanks to everyone who has contributed to this thread, you have certainly given us food for thought :T

We are starting to think the best thing we can do is NOT mention anything about gifts/money in the invitation at all, as many have suggested. Anyone who asks us (or parents) what we'd like will be directed towards vouchers (Debenhams or similar).

Pete

robnye

isnt there a mediteranean type traditional wedding, where people just pin money to the brides dress......

plus she would make a fortune in reselling the metal pins.... :rotfl:

Birdie85

When I get married (will have to actually get around to booking a venue first!) I don't think we'll put anything about gifts in the invitation. If people ask we'll probably ask for vouchers or have a small gift list. I don't like the idea of asking for money towards the wedding/honeymoon- if you can't afford the lavish ceremony/ holiday then why book it and expect everyone else to pay for it?! I'd be very grateful if people did give us money towards these things but we wouldn't book anything we couldn't afford with the hope that our guests will pick up the bill! I just moved in with my fiance and I actually wish that we'd gotten married before buying our flat so we could have done things the 'correct' way and people could have bought us kettles and towels when we needed them! LOL!

bluezone

Hi there,

We decided against putting anything on our invites regarding gift lists etc. Instead if anyone has asked we have said that as we live together already we havent done a list but should they wish to give us something then close family are giving us US$ to use on our honeymoon. This has be received well and others have offered to pay for a hotel the night before we fly etc.

Neeny82

I am currently doing my invitations and have mentioned NOTHING about a gift list or money etc. I am inviting people to my wedding as I want them there - not because of the presents they bring.

I personally have never been offended when receiving gift lists or money requests but I understand that others are and I would never want people to feel that way about attending our wedding.

I always give money in a card when I attend a wedding but I have friends who would purposefully not put cash in a card if they feel they have been 'asked' for it!

I understand the arguement for having a list or aking for cash as you would rather have something you want or need but I feel detailing this in your invitations actually takes away from what the day is actually about.

Like I said - I have never been offended by any of these methods personally but I know a lot of people who would be.

brownbabygirl

OP, glad you decided against putting a text about gifs/cash.

Caroline73_2

I've been married twice.

The first time I didn't put anything about gifts as I felt it was impolite, but I had a list at John Lewis which people were directed to if asked (vouchers were also on this list in case cheaper things had sold out) Over half my guests didn't ask so bought M&S vouchers. I never shop there but ended up with £500 in vouchers. I felt that the people who bought them had wasted their money. I spent them but never on what I would normally buy.

The second time we just said (can't even remember the wording) that we were saving to take the children to disney so if anyone wanted to buy us a gift then thomas cook vouchers would be well received.

I never expected anyone to buy us a gift and wouldn't have cared if they didn't, but I would more upset if people had spent money on gifts we didn't really want. I would have felt they had wasted their money and that's a shame. Personally I would rather someone asked me for cash and vouchers, than I went out and spent an equivalent amount on present they didn't want.

roxalana

I think it will depend on your knowledge of who is coming if it will offend people or not.

People asking for money and vouchers is becoming more common. Only one person out of 5 recent weddings had a traditional list - and I found that more difficult as all I could afford off the list was a single coffee mug...

My family and friends have very little understanding of traditions and I know for a fact they wouldn't even consider asking my mum and dad about possible gifts - they would just have kittens about thinking what to buy... They ask me to provide a list of suggestions for my birthday for example (they are mostly men - sorry to stereotype)!

As such, should my time come I will be using the 'we'd rather have your presence than your presents' line saying we know how much it costs to go to weddings, but if people would like to make a small donation towards our honeymoon it would be gratefully received (but in no way expected).

Edited to add - the only thing that upset me so far is an invite I got saying X and X have requested people do not give presents but instead give a gift voucher for Argos. This only upset me because it was already costing nearly £200 to go to the wedding (and our clothes came from second hand shops and primark!) not including hen/stag parties and it sounded like we had no choice but to provide the voucher (i.e. they woudn't accept homemade)