Boyfriend being insensitive after baby's birth

jcr16

edited, will pm instead.

homeaway

Sounds like you need a confidence boost not nasty comments. He has beautiful new baby and a lovely OH. I agree with the others it is better to wait a few more weeks. How about getting him to look after the baby while you go and get yourself some pampering be it at home or out, you deserve it. Please tell him that his comments are hurtful and ask him how he would feel if you made similiar comments about men. Perhaps he is finding it hard to take second place after the baby but that is no reason to make nasty comments. I found the first few weeks after giving birth an emotional rollercoaster. Take care.

SammyD_2

gorgeous_gwen wrote: »

Wow what a response, what can I say?

Well in his defence (but only a bit because the rest I am cross about), it was a mutual 'situation' the week after the birth. He didn't have to talk me into it because, well, I wanted to.

.

But I don't understand - a week after birth!!!! I don't understand how anyone can be anything other than a frazzled mess of milk, blood, exhaustion and baby poo...not a criticism of you, but just SOOOOO far removed from anything I can ever imagine happening after my two.

Pee

daphne_descends wrote: »

Your baby is a flipping week old and you are thinking and worrying about sex? Jesus. My OH waited a YEAR, readers, a whole YEAR. And you know what? He was a gentlemen about it.

How could you not feel like it for a year?!! Does that happen often? Now you have me really worried...

Steel_2

Because when you've squeezed something the size of a watermelon out of an orifice the size of a lemon, are sleep deprived and have a child hanging off your chest (which is probably boasting cracked nipples to boot) strangely enough the very thing that put you in that position in the first place doesn't seem so attractive anymore.

I mean sex by the way, not your partner.

lolababy

Hi how about going and getting your hair done whilst he watches the baby. Anything that makes you feel better about your self is a good thing.
Having a baby is a major life change and hormones need time to settle down. Lots of new mums are overwhelmed and so are their partners. He may be acting up due to the shock of being a parent. Its not right the way he is acting but try not to take it as a personal attack. Some men are immature and some stay that way.

jollymummy

Blimey a week is no time, ask my poor old hubby I told him after the birth of our just under 10lb ds, if you let me kick you in the nuts for 5 hours you'll know how I feel about ahem relations He is a very understanding chap.
After all the sleepless nights though, all we wanted to do in bed was snore.

grace11

While in labour with our twins I told my other half that if he tried coming near me with it again i'd rip it off, he didn't try it on for four months, but used to complain of wrist ache reguarly! I think most men do understand, the OP should have said no to her partner.

Rachie_B

grace11 wrote: »

While in labour with our twins I told my other half that if he tried coming near me with it again i'd rip it off, he didn't try it on for four months, but used to complain of wrist ache reguarly! I think most men do understand, the OP should have said no to her partner.

but it was a mutual "want" apparently ?!

RoxieW

I recently had a 10lb baby and OH and I resumed relations after 10 day. I wanted to as much as he did - he didnt pressurise or force me. I've never been given this 6 week check advice - just 'as soon as you're ready'. Everyones different. I had no tears or problems down there and felt well and we took it gently. The only thing posing a problem at the moment is tiredness but if I let that put me off we'd never have sex and thats not the kind of relationship either of us want to have.
That said - all this hoohar about when they had sex is abit irrelevant. the problem is how he is reacting to the lack of sex and whether consciously or unconsciously your OH is putting subtle pressure on you. I know how insecure you can feel at this time - I feel hypersensitve to other women 'looking better than me' as I'm not happy with my wieght, jelly belly, stretchmarks etc etc lol. And thats without any comments from my OH. Comments from him would send me into a frenzy I think!
I'm tringto do little things to make me feel better about myself. I put make up on most days, takea nap during the day with the baby and have started going swimming. If you feel better about yourself these comments wont have the same effect. But that doesnt excuse them. I'd be having very firm words with my OH (and possibly a little cry lol) about how his comments were making me feel. Hopefully then he'd think twice.