Boyfriend being insensitive after baby's birth

Loopy_Lobes

What an idiot, you have just given him the most precious gift any human being can give another. He should be down on his knees telling you what a wonderful woman and mother you are, not making you feel substandard by looking at other women and commenting about their looks - and he certainly shouldn't be sniffing around you for sex. I find it absolutely vile that a man can behave that way. I hope for your sake he grows up soon and sees what's important - you and your child.

onlyroz

I wasn't given a timescale for having sex again but I bled for 5 weeks with my first and 3 weeks with my second - so we waited until that was over before trying anything.

Remember you can still get pregnant at this time, even if you're breastfeeding, and you prob won't get the chance to discuss contraception with your doctor until the six week check.

I'm having trouble believing why you would *want* sex within a week of birth. Surely you'd be far too sore...

emlou2009

the OP hasnt said that her OH pressured her into it so why have a lot of posters in the thread assumed he did and assumed he is selfish? no man would say no if offered...
also everyone heals differently, i stopped bleeding after 10 days and had no stitches so once the swelling had gone down and the bleeding had stopped i felt normal and would have been quite happy to go for it, but i'm so tired i'm using the 6 week check up excuse!!

angelicmary85

Zazen999 wrote: »

I've not had kids [enough work with the stepdaughter], but if my OH was pestering me like this, I'd suggest us ramming a tin can of tomato soup through HIS front expandable passage and seeing if he still fancies a bit of the other/nookie afterwards...

He DOES know how babies are born doesn't he???

[other soups are available]

HAHAHAHAHA!!!! I'm sorry but that was the funniest thing I've read on here since the nappy changing thread!! The 'other soups are available' part was the funniest part!!

Ms_Piggy_2

I was told that it was a good idea to attempt sex prior to the six week check, so that if there were any issues they could be discussed.

I waited until the bleeding had stopped (4 weeks for me).

Personally, I'd tell him to knob off. What an insecure and demanding person. Tell him to be a *man* and protect and nurture his young family.

ETA: Let's not tar all men with the same brush. All men don't think of sex all the time - some support and love their partners as well as viewing them as sex objects.

CelticStar

OP, people treat you in the way you let yourself be treated. You sound a nice person, please don't undervalue yourself and let someone treat you like this when you have just given them something so precious - a child of their own. Your gut instincts are right, your OH's behaviour is wrong and disrespectful. Tell him to grow up or get lost.

DigitalDad

From my point of view, and im a man, having a baby is life changing and a huge learning curve! Mother and baby's needs must come first. I think it was three months before normal relations resumed but only then if my wife felt comfortable and with a softly-softly approach!

jackiegibbo

do it when u are ready and not before.If he makes any stupid comments give him your best glare!!!!!He will learn quickly its all new to him and he has to be introduced to his new lifestyle gently xx

scrimpingbadger

Blimey, I bled afterwards for 12 weeks - ripped to pieces internally with lots of embroidery. I'm only beginning now to feel 'like it'.......my son will be 5 this year!!!!

Claire3121

emlou2009 wrote: »

the OP hasnt said that her OH pressured her into it so why have a lot of posters in the thread assumed he did and assumed he is selfish? no man would say no if offered...
also everyone heals differently, i stopped bleeding after 10 days and had no stitches so once the swelling had gone down and the bleeding had stopped i felt normal and would have been quite happy to go for it, but i'm so tired i'm using the 6 week check up excuse!!

he may not be pressuring her per sey,but he's making her feel very awkward in other ways,which is just as bad imho.