Pregnant and Hubby doesnt love me

foreign_correspondent

wow - I have just read this thread, I am so sorry for what you are going through - he is an idiot and I hope he catches something nasty and that his shuttlec0ck drops off, how awful and selfish he has been, putting you through this.

I hope you can get all the help you need getting a new home through the council, I know its early to be thinking about practical thinga, but I would contact a solicitor asap to see what you are owed from the house - can he really make you move out whilst pregnant?

jm2926

If the house/mortgage are in joint names you shouldn't move out of the house until it is sold. In the current climate this could take a long time, and you will both be liable for the mortgage, so you may as well get the benefit of it as he has somewhere else to stay anyway. He should continue to pay the mortgage until the sale.

Bettyboop

Hi I know exactly how you are feeling. I haven't read all the replies but found myself having this same problem when I was pregnant with our first child. A few nights before the little one was due my husband left without a word...no phone contact nothing....I felt like I was in total despair, I was in tears and I couldn't stop thinking about the baby. He did come back but only the next day. Had anything happened he would have missed the birth for that matter. He left because all was speaking about for the days leading up to the birth was our baby...couldn't wait to decorate, pack clothes etc. We all know it's extremely exciting. I don't know if this is right but I think he felt left out? I'm not saying this is the case for you but this act of his led to weeks of resentment....he did other things as well like throwing things, tipping things on the floor...basically just imagine an adult throwing tantrums....It was just too much to bear and I ended up having a very difficult labour which lead to an Emergency C-section bought on by the stress and trouble at home. Please take care of yourself, think about your baby and try not to worry. I know it's easier said than done...thinking of you. x

fitzilian19

i'm not moving out until the house is sold... nowhere to go. i popped home to pick upa couple of bits and he'd been - taken everything he needed - clothes for work, badminton clothes and badminton rackets...

went to our bedroom and he'd taken an entire chest of drawers - solid oak so weighed a tonne and almost as long as our bedroom is wide. i called demanding he bring it back - seems petty but we bought the bedroom with some money we'd been given as a wedding present...

his dad is coming up today to bring that back and remove his guitars and amps. he's also going to make a list of what he wants to keep - but i cant imagine he'll get much cos he's moved into a ready set-up home and i'm facing moving to an empty flat with a baby on the way.

worried he'll try and take the car - it's in his name and he paid half - other half was a gift from his grandmother. but again, she has a car - i'd be left with nothing and my family, friends etc are all a drive away (or 2 trains and over an hours journey)

keep getting emotional - went to get some food and first step into asda and i wanted to leave again... i've never shopped for one before. and there were so many pregnant women with attentive hubbies there too.. prob shouldnt have gone saturday lunchtime but its things like this that are starting to make it all real.

going back home tonight and work 2mo... that wont be easy - waking up alone, working all day without an email-chat with him, cooking dinner for one.

wish i could rewind 2 years and insist we move somewhere else.

lynzpower

keep getting emotional - went to get some food and first step into asda and i wanted to leave again... i've never shopped for one before. and there were so many pregnant women with attentive hubbies there too.. prob shouldnt have gone saturday lunchtime but its things like this that are starting to make it all real.

In time you'll notice the amount of women raising well rounded children without dads on the scene and doing a stirling job of it .

Ive been following this thread and wanted to say how much I feel for you right now. this is the most horrendous thing Ive ever read on here ( honestly that says something) and right now I just wanted to wish you all the best.

I would take the time to sort through the things that he will want, or that you will not want and have his dad take them. He has made his bed....

fitzilian19

well someone else is making his bed...

not going up today - going to visit some family with mum i'd lost connection with because of his issues.

hit a bad patch this morning and feeling sorry for myself.. suppose it had to happen some time.. just wish it was later in the day so someone was up with me.. might go and get in mums bed with her for a cuddle in a bit...

Nikabella

fitzilian I have been reading this thread every day & wanted to post to tell you how brave, adult & strong you are being about this whole terrible situation. Your husband has acted like a selfish, spoilt child with no concept of respect or responsibility. Others have put what I thought so eloquently I won't try & repeat it, however, I really think you are doing an amazing job of holding it together & you husband clearly never deserved a woman like you.

I'm not sure if you are in the UK but if you are I'd like to say that I know it must seem difficult with it being Mother's Day but try to cherish it, this is your first one as Mum-to-be & next year you will have a beautiful son or daughter to share the day with.

Try not to worry about your baby as there are lots of children who grow up without there fathers, being brought up by fantastic, loving single parents. I was brought up without my biological father, he was & still is an idiot. He left my mum just before I was born as I was cramping his 'style' & I think he turned up for the birth (sat reading a newspaper in the corner) & a couple of times after & then that was the last she saw or heard from him. Whilst pregnant with my DD a couple of years ago I wrote him a letter saying I would like to meet him & for him to meet his grandaughter. His partner rang me to say he had got the letter but had refused to open it, so she had & read it & felt really sorry for me but that she didn't think he would respond. He has a 5 year old son with her whom he lives with although I'm not sure he's a better parent to him. Anyway, 2 years on & I've still never heard from him - his loss, not mine.

My OH was brought up by his grandparents when his mother & father both decided they couldn't be bothered with him when he was a baby. What I'm trying to say is the people who loose out are the absent parents.

My thoughts are with you in this difficult time.

A.x

rosered1963

op - I have just read through this thread. I feel quite gutted.

But, you clearly have dignity, intelligence and kindness. You will be ok. Just my opinion, but I think you will be well rid of this man, who sounds rather weak -a pathetic and dangerous trait in a man. My feeling is that your life will blossom once he is out of it, and that a wonderful person will come along that you will deserve. Just try and get through the heartbreak as best you can - its sounds like a lot of company is what you need. You obviously haven't lost your sense of humour - bless you!

Please take good care of yourself and your unborn baby. Thinking of you. x

skintchick

OP, I have only just found this thread and I wish I had done so earlier. I'm a Christian too, and pregnant, and I cannot imagine how I'd feel if my husband behaved like yours.

But I tell you this - God will bless you for your faithfulness to your husband and to Him, and he will honour your desire to save your marriage, and your prayers and He will not forsake you or leave you.

Times might be hard right now but it is only through the desert times that we find the true nature of God. Remember that Jesus chose to go into the desert when he wanted to be closest to God, and you will be closer now to Him than ever before.

Our greatest lessons in faith are learned through the difficult times, so hold fast to God's promise that He will never put us through more than we can bear, and that He will always be with us, and try to enjoy the closeness you now have with God, even though you don;t have the closeness your marriage gave you.

Dont; let hatred or bitterness consume you, but behave as God would want and He will honour you in that.

We will all face him on judgment day, and I think your husband will find that a very uncomfortable experience!

Big hugs xxxx

clu

My heart goes out to you , and you are doing so well. Have you decided what you are going to do about the birth? Has he said what part he wants in your child's life? I know its is far ahead but you are best to start thinking about it soon , as farther into pregnancy your head does not always work as well.
It is hard being a single parent but you seem to have such support I am sure you will cope admirably. The joy a child brings you can be second to none and it is his loss to walk away from a wonderful woman and your child.