Pregnant and Hubby doesnt love me

ceebeeby

Hi Fitz,

Fab to hear the heart-beat.

Everything seems to be happening so fast for you - I'm really worried that all these big decisions are crowding in, when as you say yourself, BP is up.

Make everything happen at your pace from now on ... not his!

On Saturday, make sure you've got some moral support with you too! I don't like this 3vs1 scenario for you and bubs' sake.

Take care x

fitzilian19

i think i might ask a friend to some over... but to be honest getting him to talk at the best of times is difficult, let alone when someone else is there.

his parents have agreed with me listening to what he has to say and going away to think about things...

hoping to share what plans i have and come up with some sort of promise from him to think about it. then get it in writing while hes there, and then talk to my solicitor on monday to see what she thinks..

MadMac_2

You're doing really, really well - remember that. Things are going to be difficult to sort out (they always are) but keep control of every situation as much as you can and don't get rail-roaded into anything. When you feel yourself start to sink, think of that little miracle beating away inside you and you'll manage just fine.

Thinking of you x

fitzilian19

hearing the heartbeat has made the bond between me and baby so much stronger... i wont let anything happen now that will be detrimental to the baby in any way in the future...

SusieWinwood

I've been following your story with interest and :T how strong you've been throughout all of it.

Its fabulous news that your baby is doing well, but please keep an eye on your BP. I was pg last year and had very high BP.

The sooner you can sort out the house and the settlement the better.

I feel its your x's loss not yours. You have a mountain of strength and I wish you well.

Sending you positive vibes and cyber hugs

Susie x

lostinrates

fitzilian19: is there anyone from the church who could come with you for support?

I feel some one from church would be a good choice for many reasons. They'd make a good witness, should they be needed, and quite frankly, the fact that this person would not be unknown to your in laws might well help them support a move that is very fair to your child, if you see what I mean, reminding them-simply by virtue of their being there- of the moral aspect to this situation and encouraging them to encourage their son to be provident to the child. FWIW it most be very difficult for them too . Finally, someone from your church would be good support for you. You seem to be handling this horrid situation with a grace and dignity very few could muster, but to have someone support that from a common point of belief can't hurt

I think your strength and dignity are really inspiring

fitzilian19

i know its really petty but he's posted about his new relationship on facebook (after demanding i take off my 'single' status)

its really got to me.. that and a photo they have discussed about a meal they've been to.


i just want this all over with. i want to hate him... i want to be angry - not crying cos he's out having a good time and im sat at home worrying and crying

sammy_kaye18

Hi Fitz

Only just read your post but didn't want to read and run. Your ex sounds like an absolute bar steward in my honest opinion.

My partner left when he found out I was pregnant. After 5 months of my pregnancy alone he returned with his tail between his legs. I was only 19 at the time and living in my mums house. Plus there were no other parties involved.

A friend of mine is also in a similiar situation - she is now 9 months pregnant and has a 5 year old, the dad left when she was 6 weeks gone, shes sorted herself out and gotten everything for the baby that she needs on a limited amount and is due the 20th April. You'll be amazed how many people will rally around you and not him,

Personally I wouldn't give the baby his name, if he was that keen to play a part he'd be an active father and not cause you so much stress in my opinion. Granted men can turn funny when they hear they are becoming fathers but its undue stress you don't need. He does sound like a child in my opinion. I cut all ties with my partner but left the door open for his family and clearly stated this in a letter to them that regardless of mine and his relationship they had a right as well as my child to know each other.

You will be fine without him. there are plenty of things out there to help single mothers with children, weather you are studying or not.

Whilst you are pregnant you can claim the milk tokens, and there is money for single mums whose babies are due after April 6th i think it is - its a new scheme so not entirely sure. Also you get a maternity grant too i believe

(bearing in mind my son is 5 so not quite sure yet!)

Tax Credits will pay towards child care, as well as child tax credits once you have the child and also you'll receive £20 a week child benefit as well as income support if your not working. Then you have housing/council tax benefit too if you are a student and in rented accommodation.

There are also schemes to help with getting a deposit put down onto a property if its private rented etc. They will pay it for you adn your repay it with small weekly or monthly payments

You'll be fine hun adn you have plenty of people on MSE who are here to offer advice as well.

can i also suggest the having a baby the OS way over on the old style forums to help saving money with baby things??

chin up flower. Drop me a line if you ever fancy a natter.

x x x x

MadMac_2

Fitzilian, him being so completely petty only tells you he is in a right old mess, try to feel angry at him for the state he is getting himself in to. He is still trying so hard to maintain control of you and it is time to take that control back. Don't listen to his demands - and if you have no choice or can't avoid it just dream about something else while he sprouts off. Avoid having anything to do with him without someone else being present as it is clearly really upsetting you - and that means also upsetting the baby. Do make that clear to him in as level headed a way as possible. He is acting in a way he will regret for the rest of his life, you will look back with pride at what you achieved in the face of adversity!

We are all here to support you xx

elona

Try thinking and saying to yourself

"I will not let you endanger our child!"

That goes for him, his parents or anybody else that stresses you out at this vulnerable time.