Advice on maybe cheating other half

CarliJ

or gullable.

We have talked about this text at length over the past 2 days, and i believe him. People dont need to start getting personal, i only asked what would you do, and for advice.

Its up to us now to make sure we communicate and nuture our relationship, which got a bit under nurtured (:rolleyes: ) thanks everyone for the comments, i will keep you all updated xx

judderman62

CarliJ wrote: »

or gullable.

We have talked about this text at length over the past 2 days, and i believe him. People dont need to start getting personal, i only asked what would you do, and for advice.

Its up to us now to make sure we communicate and nuture our relationship, which got a bit under nurtured (:rolleyes: ) thanks everyone for the comments, i will keep you all updated xx

good for you good luck and hope all works out well :grouphug:

mummyyummy_2

Pssst wrote: »

Oh yes..the old second phone ploy. A good way to sometimes sniff them out is to do a bluetooth search for other devices in the vicinity and see what pops up!

HOW CLEVER!!! i would never have thought of that, although what if its a dual sim, u know the phones that can take more than 1 sim in them, would they still show up or would he have to have bluetooth activated in both phones?? x

Paparika

CarliJ wrote: »

or gullable.

We have talked about this text at length over the past 2 days, and i believe him. People dont need to start getting personal, i only asked what would you do, and for advice.

Its up to us now to make sure we communicate and nuture our relationship, which got a bit under nurtured (:rolleyes: ) thanks everyone for the comments, i will keep you all updated xx

Some niggles me, if the text wasn't ment for him why did he still have it on his phone?

DoubtfulTom

Paparika wrote: »

Some niggles me, if the text wasn't ment for him why did he still have it on his phone?

Same here.
Why no reply from him saying you sent to wrong person?
Why no second message from her apologising for the error?

The poster was already suspicious to feel the need to look through the texts but she is happy with the explanation so that's all that counts.

judderman62

DoubtfulTom wrote: »

Same here.
Why no reply from him saying you sent to wrong person?
Why no second message from her apologising for the error?

The poster was already suspicious to feel the need to look through the texts but she is happy with the explanation so that's all that counts.

one of the most contradictory posts I have ever seen - your second paragraph could/should re-assure and yet your 1st flags up more suspicion :rolleyes:

Folks I think the OP has been through enough and can probably decide for herself if she feels happy with the explanation or wants further re-assurance. Unless she asks for more input how about lettign this one lie ...for her sake ??

Just as an aside the bluetooth thing would only work if bluetooth was on on the phone in question and as bluetooth runs the battery down quicker mine is switched off 98% of the time.

judderman62

mummyyummy wrote: »

HOW CLEVER!!! i would never have thought of that, although what if its a dual sim, u know the phones that can take more than 1 sim in them, would they still show up or would he have to have bluetooth activated in both phones?? x

as per my post above yes bluetooth would have to be enabled in both phones - out of curiosity what access would that give anyway ? cna one look round another device - checking address book, messages etc ?

pinkshoes

aliasojo wrote: »

I do think that those who have been cheated on themselves tend to pick up on things that others may not see as a problem though? Not because they are now suspicious of everything but just because the words or actions of others are the same as in their experience of being cheated on. If that makes sense?

Or even those who have done the cheating... i.e ME (many years ago, I'm a good girl now!).

I used to take my phone with me all the time, whereas I previously left it lying around, just in case my bit on the side texted at the wrong time... and when I did get questioned, I also used the "invasion of privacy" line. :rotfl: (in reality, I was thinking "sh*t, what have they read???", and trying to establish how much they knew and what excuse would best get me out of trouble!).

I would have no problems with my OH even taking my phone out with him, or answering any of my calls, or replying to a text for me if I was busy! That's because I have nothing to hide...

Maybe he is innocent, but there's just too many little things that hint something dodgy has gone on!

clairemck12

First of all just wanted to say well done for being honest and getting your feelings out in the open with your OH, some people would let this type of thing play on their minds and then their imagination starts to run away with themselves.

Just a thought though, you said that he goes out with his colleagues quite often. Why don't you join them one evening, obviously it's a mixed group of males and females getting together so your not going to tag along with an all guys night out. By doing this it might give you a chance to meet the lady in question and get a general feel for the situation, either between her and your OH or her and this other male that the text was meant for.

HTH

DoubtfulTom

judderman62 wrote: »

one of the most contradictory posts I have ever seen - your second paragraph could/should re-assure and yet your 1st flags up more suspicion :rolleyes:

Scratches head briefly to muse on the contradiction.
I agreed with the quoted poster and included my own reasons for doubt; some of which I had previously mentioned.
I then went on to suggest that our suspicions did not matter since the poster was happy with the outcome. Not dissimilar to:

Folks I think the OP has been through enough and can probably decide for herself if she feels happy with the explanation or wants further re-assurance.

I see no contradiction.