Right this is difficult.

Danni1979

Have to say this is a tricky one,my dad used to do this with me when i was younger and it TOTALLY freaked me out,it was awful i didnt understand why my dad would look at me that way and i also changed the way i dressed because of it.
I would be horrified if my OH ogled our childrens breasts and i dont know what i would do in your situation apart from do what you have already done!!
If he truly isnt aware that he is doing it then i do think it amy be an idea to make him aware of it everytime it happens,like "yoo hoo my face is HERE" type thing.
I'm sorry i cant suggest anything lse but i do feel that you are right to be concerned about this.
D

tsstss7

carefullycautious wrote: »

Some people have difficulty making eye contact with others. What was he like before the girls arrived. I have known many people who when talking to them would
a) stare past me when talking.
b) look down at chest level whilst talking
c) stand sideways on and stare at the ground whilst talking

None of these people had any idea that what they were doing was perceived as odd

If he has always been like this since you have known him, Im not surprised he is getting so defensive about it. People have all sorts of mannerisms that they do unconciously and it is very wrong to keep making an issue out of it.

It is very difficult to maintain eye contact for very long and some people will look away and fix on another part of the body.

Your girls sound as if they would know if anything else inappropriate was going on and if it is then this would become an issue.

I would back off for a while, I know that I probably do things that another may find irritating and I would hate to keep being told off for it.

I agree with this post - while your OH may seem like he is looking at breasts he may just not be looking people in the eye (for whatever reason) and has just chosen an unfortunate alternative which over the years has become a bad habit - I suppose it depends upon whether you think over the years he has meant to ogle women or it was simply an aversion from interacting too closely with those women.

However I agree for whatever reason he does this its a horrible habit, but hopefully he's not like my ex with comments to accompany it!

skellysgirl

The biggest issue here for me is the fact that he seems to not realise he is doing this. This is really worrying, if he does not realise he has overstepped the boundrys of acceptableness, then what else is acceptable to him? Looking at any 12 yr old breast is wrong, your own daughter is even worse.
I am not saying that he is a bad person, but he has to at least learn this is not right.
If your children feel that uncomfortable that they have to cover up in front of him then it has already started to affect them.
I would suggest that if he will not take this seriously then i would suggest that he maybe speaks to a professional, it may just shock him in to realising just how much of an issue this has become for the rest of the family.

*Louise*

santos39 wrote: »

Thanks for the replies. The girls are 12 years and 14 years old, they dont wear revealing clothes at all they even cover themselves up so much because of it, seriously i have talked to him and they have until we are blue in the face but he just shouts off and says he isnt doing it. It's got to the point now that they are walking around in jumpers on a sunny day bless them. He does it to every woman he sees even to his mother in law and she is in her 60s i have told him time and time again but he wont admit he is doing it . I dont mind him looking at all at other women but something just doesn't seem right with it when it's his daughters , i dont know am i making a big thing out of this?

Right, the part I have highlighted is the part that tells me he's not ogling the girls in a sexual way. (Until I read that post, I admit I did have my doubts)

It seems to have been a habit that has formed over a long period of time. Since you have been together, when he 'ogled' someone's chest, what was your reaction? Because if you just let it go every time then he has gotten so used to doing it he now doesn't realise.

If I was to catch my OH ogling someone, he would get a sharp nudge lol.


I really think you need to draw his attention when he IS doing it, rather than just sitting down and trying to talk to him at another time. That way he will start to realise what he is doing.

ailuro2

get them a marker pen and write "told you so" "!!!! off" "look at my face" etc on them, but in a pen colour that isn't noticeable from far away.

Put a sticker on your m-i-l's jumper too, maybe try it with a brother to see if it's just somewhere he looks to avoid eye contact.


I think the key here is trying to convince him he's doing it. But why would anyone falsely accuse their Dad/hubby of doing that in the first place? - surely he must realise his actions are subconcious and try to avoid looking at his DD's breasts. :eek:

squirrelchops

How about some conditioning a la Pavlov (the one with the dogs drooling when they hear the bell?).

Every time he stares kick him in the nuts. Hopefully the averse reaction of pain will soon stop him!!!! He says he doesn't realise he is doing it well that will soon make him realise!

poppyolivia

Nah I'm sorry just read the whole thread and the whole behaviour is weird and has to stop....they are 12 and 14 years old for gods sake.....I'm even going as far as saying he is sick in the head! Sorry but the kids are actually upset by it and thats not on.....

Goodness knows what you are going to do thats up to you but your kids are going to remember this forever and its going to mince their heads! I feel sick reading it!

I mean I can honestly say if my dad did that I would have ran away! Its freaky sh*t man!

My husband read it and all he said was...sounds a perv!

But I apologise if its just coming across on the thread worse than it really is but good luck with it all, sounds like you need it!

anguk

If he does it to every woman he sees another thing to think about is what about when the girls bring friends over, is he going to stare at their breasts too? It's not going to be fair on your girls if their friends are talking behind their backs about their "pervy dad" (I'm not saying he is but that's what their young friends are going to think). Also it will just be a matter of time before one of their friends mentions it to their parents and you've got an angry dad knocking on your door.

ChrisCobra

So unbelivable , troll.com perhaps ?

skintchick

I think that people on here are far too quick to judge this man - I really don;t think he's a perv or a !!!!!!.

However, I think he needs to stop and seems the best suggestions so far have been to tell him when he is doing it, every time he is doing it, until he learns to stop.

If this is where he naturally looks when talking to women/people then it will take a long time of consistent training to change him.