Right this is difficult.

Smashing

Kimberley wrote: »

I look at my daughter's breasts, does that mean i'm ogling them? :eek:

JoJoB

Is there something else going on here? Has your husband been inappropriate in other ways with other people perhaps? Are you and your daughters generally distrustful about him or is it just on this issue?

The reason I ask is that I know of a lot of families where father and daughter will have a "banter" over this sort of thing - even heard one father say "you'll have someones eye out with those" over his daughter's boobs. But there was no sleaziness involved, just silliness, and father and daughter had a good, normal relationship.

I can understand him getting angry about it if he feels his family think he's a pervert when he has no feelings that way at all. If he does ogle, it's very likely it's with no sexual "thrill" aspect at all, but just a fascination at his kids growing up. When my DD grows boobs I'd probably have a good stare now and then tbh, in the same way I stare at her trying to walk. But you've got to know when it's making them feel uncomfortable and respect that, surely. I'm not sure I buy that he doesn't know he's doing it.

aliasojo

Kimberley wrote: »

I look at my daughter's breasts, does that mean i'm ogling them? :eek:

I think you are simplifying things too much. Surely it depend on frequency and how intensive the 'look' is? Also I have no doubt your daughter is completely unperturbed at you looking at her. Would you continue to do so if it upset her?

Kimberley

Smashing wrote: »

I'll shut up then

k2tog

Kimberley wrote: »

I look at my daughter's breasts, does that mean i'm ogling them? :eek:

That isn't for anyone here to decide, but if she asked you repeatedly to stop, wouldn't you stop?

Kimberley

aliasojo wrote: »

I think you are simplifying things too much. Surely it depend on frequency and how intensive the 'look' is? Also I have no doubt your daughter is completely unperturbed at you looking at her. Would you continue to do so if it upset her?

I get your point no I wouldn't.

Kimberley

k2tog wrote: »

That isn't for anyone here to decide, but if she asked you repeatedly to stop, wouldn't you stop?

yes ......................

santos39

Ok i am crying here so bear with me please.
I love my daughters dearly and i love their father , I am not calling him anything bad and i wouldn't he isn't doing anything to them but his oogling is making my young girls cover themselves up all the time to me this is not right. I dont want him to leave us over this but if he he has said that and he wont admit he is doing this then what else can i do to stop my girls feeling uncomfortable.

Kimberley

santos39 wrote: »

Ok i am crying here so bear with me please.
I love my daughters dearly and i love their father , I am not calling him anything bad and i wouldn't he isn't doing anything to them but his oogling is making my young girls cover themselves up all the time to me this is not right. I dont want him to leave us over this but if he he has said that and he wont admit he is doing this then what else can i do to stop my girls feeling uncomfortable.

Is there no one else who can put him straight? A brother or someone? I guess if he won't listen and the girls are affected then you need to sort this out.

carefullycautious

Some people have difficulty making eye contact with others. What was he like before the girls arrived. I have known many people who when talking to them would
a) stare past me when talking.
b) look down at chest level whilst talking
c) stand sideways on and stare at the ground whilst talking

None of these people had any idea that what they were doing was perceived as odd

If he has always been like this since you have known him, Im not surprised he is getting so defensive about it. People have all sorts of mannerisms that they do unconciously and it is very wrong to keep making an issue out of it.

It is very difficult to maintain eye contact for very long and some people will look away and fix on another part of the body.

Your girls sound as if they would know if anything else inappropriate was going on and if it is then this would become an issue.

I would back off for a while, I know that I probably do things that another may find irritating and I would hate to keep being told off for it.