Right this is difficult.

santos39

I am a newbie here so please be gentle and no i am not a troll i just dont know where else to get an answer.
Please could you answer this difficult question for me?
Now i know every man keeps looking at womens breasts it is normal but what if he keeps looking at his own teenagers daughters breasts as well ? . I mean if he is talking to them and then he stares?. What if you have talked to him about it so many times that he keeps denying it and saying he is not, even if his daughters have noticed as well?.
Is this normal for a man to do this? Is he a pervert? Should the wife take no notice?Should she kick him out? Is he wrong? Is she wrong? So many questions but i would like to know what you men and women think?.

Kimberley

If you daughter is uncomfortable with it then you need to have a serious chat with him. It is hard to tell if he is a pervert. You have to be very careful here because it could be all innocent and you could end up making him frightened to look at her in the end. He may be looking because she is growing into a women and feels proud. Sam Foxes father was her manager and went with her to her shoots to do page 3 but he didn't look at her boobs in a sexual way so that is why you need to be careful what you say to him.

liney

Ohh that is awkward. Perhaps he's shocked at the daughters development, and keeps being distracted ie she's not a little girl anymore.

I remember my mom telling me to hug my grandad "to the side" when i suddenly had breasts because she noticed he was becomming abit embarrassed when i was throwing my arms around him and therefore my breasts up against him. Of course i was not aware i was doing anything to make him awkward but stopped immediately.

Does the daughter wear clothes which "show em off" - perhaps he doesn't know where to look? Does she still skip about in night clothes in front of him, which wouldn't really be appropriate? How old is she anyway?

skintchick

I think you should approach it from a different angle - tell him his daughter (I assume it is his?) is very aware of her changing body and is a bit embarrassed, and feels that he is looking. Emphasise that you know he isn;t (for now, give him the benefit of the doubt) but she feels awkward and ask him to be extra careful about where he looks as she is very sensitive about it

That way he might stop doing it wihtout feeling challenged or accused.

I don;t think many men ogle their daughters but it is probably hard for him not to notice her body is changing and perhaps he feels they are a bit too much on display? My friend's daughter has them hanging out and I wonder how on earth theyl et her walk around like it at her age!

santos39

Thanks for the replies. The girls are 12 years and 14 years old, they dont wear revealing clothes at all they even cover themselves up so much because of it, seriously i have talked to him and they have until we are blue in the face but he just shouts off and says he isnt doing it. It's got to the point now that they are walking around in jumpers on a sunny day bless them. He does it to every woman he sees even to his mother in law and she is in her 60s i have told him time and time again but he wont admit he is doing it . I dont mind him looking at all at other women but something just doesn't seem right with it when it's his daughters , i dont know am i making a big thing out of this?

Kimberley

santos39 wrote: »

I dont mind him looking at all at other women but something just doesn't seem right with it when it's his daughters , i dont know am i making a big thing out of this?

Your not if the girls feel uncomfortable with it. If they are covering up because they don't like him looking then you need a chat with him.

gibboelli

I dont know...seems a bit inappropriate, especially when it's got to the extent your girls are wearing winter clothing just to cover up!! They should be proud of their bodies not so paranoid their dad is looking to cover themselves up so much!
I'm not really sure the best way to handle it, maybe reitterating he is making the girls uncomfortable??

santos39

The girls are uncomfortable with it and we have all sat down with him and talked with him about it but each time we do we get a shouting match from him saying he isn't doing anything, so i really dont know where to go from here.I dont shout and scream at him i talk in a civilised manner to him about it.

squirrelchops

I am more shocked that he cannot see how his actions are deeply inappropriate. These are his children......he is a parent and you do not do things that make your children uncomroftable when it is reagrding their sexuality.

I am not labelling him as a pervert etc but he needs to understand how his position as their father, yet his blatant ogling is a complete abuse of his power in the familial relationship.

I cannot believe you have all had to sit down and 'talk about it'.......he is their father and should know this type of behaviour is unacceptable.

Errata

santos39 wrote: »

The girls are uncomfortable with it and we have all sat down with him and talked with him about it but each time we do we get a shouting match from him saying he isn't doing anything, so i really dont know where to go from here.I dont shout and scream at him i talk in a civilised manner to him about it.

If he denies it but you and your girls honestly believe he does it - start shouting and screaming at him !

skintchick

He clearly doesn;t know he is doing it. I just asked OH and he said that is how he reads it, so anything you say will fall on deaf ears because he doesn;t believe that he is doing it at all.

Perhaps you should have been a bit more stern about it before when he did it to other women, but I'm afraid if he is thee type of bloke who talks to women's breasts then he will probably always do it now.

The only thing I can think of is if your daughters and you notice when he does it and say gently 'my face is up here'. possibly he might eventually get the message but I think he will get very cross and hurt in the meantime.