Right this is difficult.

VfM4meplse

Firstly big hugs and well done for refusing to be silenced. You can look at your daughter's breasts all day and will not pose the same risk because you are a mother and as such you see breasts as nurturing appendages rather than in a sexual way. Men don't, no matter how many kids they've had.

santos39 wrote: »

what else can i do to stop my girls feeling uncomfortable.

The question is what other boundaries is he prepared to push to make them feel uncomfortable? It is not ideal for parents to be separated from their kids but if this has crossed your mind it is not without sound reasoning. This is a tough message but one you need to consider.

aliasojo

santos39 wrote: »

Ok i am crying here so bear with me please.
I love my daughters dearly and i love their father , I am not calling him anything bad and i wouldn't he isn't doing anything to them but his oogling is making my young girls cover themselves up all the time to me this is not right. I dont want him to leave us over this but if he he has said that and he wont admit he is doing this then what else can i do to stop my girls feeling uncomfortable.

You must feel like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. I dont kmow what to tell you tbh. If he refuses to accept what you say then you only have 4 options as far as I can see.

1)You and the girls accept that nothing will change and you try to ensure his opportunities to look are minimised.

2)You wait for a quiet moment to try to talk him and ask him what the best thing is to do about the way the girls feel in the hope that he will recognise how much of a problem this is for them and that you are at a loss to make them feel better and you need his input. Maybe if he feels he is being pro-active willingly rather than being accused and defensive, it might help?

3)You try to get outside help.

4)You separate.



No-one on here can tell you what to do. And there's no point in telling you what WE would do, as our thoughts for our families are not relevent to you and yours.

Do you feel your thoughts about this are still 'reasonable' or is there a chance you could have things out of proportion or perspective? Is he a good husband/father in other ways? Has there been any other little things that have concerned you? How upset are the girls? A little annoyed or absolutely furious? A tad embarrassed or completely mortified? Has he always acted like this? Maybe it's just an issue now because the girls are at 'that' conscious of their bodies stage?

It's obviously upsetting you, so you cant just forget about it, you need to deal with it to get peace of mind if nothing else.

Kimberley

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Firstly big hugs and well done for refusing to be silenced. You can look at your daughter's breasts all day and will not pose the same risk because you are a mother and as such you see breasts as nurturing appendages rather than in a sexual way. Men don't, no matter how many kids they've had.

Ahem there are women abusers out there

aliasojo

Kimberley wrote: »

Ahem there are women abusers out there

I think we can safely assume that in the context of this thread, that isn't an issue?

Smashing

VfM4meplse wrote: »

You can look at your daughter's breasts all day and will not pose the same risk because you are a mother and as such you see breasts as nurturing appendages rather than in a sexual way. Men don't, no matter how many kids they've had.

Er, no. It doesn't matter who is staring - if it is making them uncomfortable then it is wrong, even if they are not being viewed in a sexual way.

Kimberley

aliasojo wrote: »

I think we can safely assume that in the context of this thread, that isn't an issue?

I was replying to a post written not the thread.

aliasojo

Lol...I know Kimberley. It just seemed unnecessary to comment so and ran the risk of taking the thread off on a tangent a little maybe?

Kimberley

aliasojo wrote: »

Lol...I know Kimberley. It just seemed unnecessary to comment so and ran the risk of taking the thread off on a tangent a little maybe?

I think I need a break, wanna cuppa?

aliasojo

Tis ok....I have a bottle of fizzy water, ta muchly.

claire1234

when i was younger i developed really fast, got the occasional eye-popping look off my dad when wearing a new top!
once i went out shopping and my dad asked me what i have bought me been a daft teenager said "i new bra, wanna see?!"
my dad was horrified! he put the newpaper in front of his face, some men just cant handle it,

my OH on the other hand has no problem at all with that kinda thing, "growing up" was no problem to him, when his kids come down in new clothing it was "wit woo look at you :T " n that kind of thing to boost there estheem (sp), gives them a confidence boost in there teens
but ask my OH to explain contraception and thats a no no he doesnt like that subject!

perhaps it is a phase with your oh
maybe if you all carry on as normal ( carry on wearing clothing you like) then it may be a phase which passes.