Right this is difficult.

Kimberley

I agree Skintchick he seems to be judged a lot. The only thing he is doing wrong is not respecting his daughters wishes for him to stop. They feel embarrassed and he should respect that. He's not a bleedin perv or paedophile otherwise he would have done other things.

squirrelchops

'the only thing he is doing wrong is not respecting his daughters wishes for him to stop'.....

I think this is more than enough and it is wrong.

The family home should be a place of safety and security. By his actions he is not allowing his daughters to feel safe and secure within the family unit hence i think he is out of order.

The fact he is unable to 'get' what his wife is telling him is unacceptable. Puberty and development is hard enough to cope with as an adoescent let alone having to deal with a parent who is unable to support these changes.

No, I am not saying he is a paedophile or pervert......in my line of work I have worked with enough who are, but he needs to learn more socially accepatable behaviours...and quick!

Errata

If this bloke stares at every female's breasts he sees including his MIL it's kinda hard to figure out why he hasn't been punched senseless by now by some woman's OH or girls dad.

aliasojo

skintchick wrote: »

I think that people on here are far too quick to judge this man - I really don;t think he's a perv or a !!!!!!.

However, I think he needs to stop and seems the best suggestions so far have been to tell him when he is doing it, every time he is doing it, until he learns to stop.

If this is where he naturally looks when talking to women/people then it will take a long time of consistent training to change him.

I don't for one minute think this man is a paedophile, but I do think he is crass, insensitive and too quick to angry denial which still worries me tbh. The vast majority of parents would not continue to do something that is clearly upsetting to their child. I dont think anyone expects him to stop doing something he has habitually done with a finger snap, but his unwillingness to accept there is a problem in the first place...is a problem in itself. You cant change an person's actions if they are not a willing part of the process.

santos39

Thank you for all your replies , i really do mean it.
After a very lengthy talk with him we decided to split up.
Thanks for everyone who gave me advice , i have done what i have thought is best for my girls and myself and he has gone. Now i have to pick myself up and start over but it is all for the best so thanks again .

aliasojo

I'm sorry to hear that santos. Perhaps some time apart will lessen the emotions that are clearly running high about this and maybe you can both talk again and sort things out?

If not, then you know you can get more help and support here if you need it.

Kimberley

santos39 wrote: »

Thank you for all your replies , i really do mean it.
After a very lengthy talk with him we decided to split up.
Thanks for everyone who gave me advice , i have done what i have thought is best for my girls and myself and he has gone. Now i have to pick myself up and start over but it is all for the best so thanks again .

I hope you haven't been winding us all up Sorry guys but something seems not right here. Why would a man and wife agree to split up just over this topic, if it was genuine i'm sure he would have agreed to stop looking at his girls to save his marriage and his daughter's blushes.

If it's not a wind up then I apologise.

Mrs_Moc

Kimberley wrote: »

I hope you haven't been winding us all up Sorry guys but something seems not right here. Why would a man and wife agree to split up just over this topic, if it was genuine i'm sure he would have agreed to stop looking at his girls to save his marriage and his daughter's blushes.

If it's not a wind up then I apologise.

I think thats a bit harsh, not all men are going to do what they're told so they can save their marriage. Especially if it something they are denying doing in the first place.

aliasojo

Kimberley wrote: »

Why would a man and wife agree to split up just over this topic, if it was genuine i'm sure he would have agreed to stop looking at his girls to save his marriage and his daughter's blushes.

Maybe it's one of those things that's been ongoing for so long now that it's just caused a huge rift and there seems no way to get back from it?

As for it being a possible wind up........well I guess the OP needed help if it wasn't and still needs help if it was.

santos39

Kimberley this is not a wind up i came on here for some advice because i needed it , if it was a wind up i wouldn't be sitting here now a single parent but now i am so i have sort myself out now i am glad i came on here actually and let it all out to be honest else i would have probably still been worrying about it but now i can honestly say i did the right thing.