Right this is difficult.

*Louise*

poet123 wrote: »

I didnt actually see any post that said it was acceptable.

Neither did I

I saw a few that tried to come up with some sort of explanation for it, but not one person said that it was fine and the OP shouldn't worry.

santos39

Oh for gods sake i came on here for some support i did go on other support sites but no one answered for gods sake. I just bloody hope this doesn't happen to you guys ok.
I was concerned ok is that alright to be concerned about this? or should have i just sat back and not cared. Nothing in my marriage was bad nothing at all just him ogling my daughters chests ok but i thought that was wrong so now he is gone . NO one and repeat No one looks at my kids that way , i have lost a marriage over this but i am in the wrong, men can do what they want can they?. What a world this is coming to.
My daughters can now walk around without covering up and that makes me feel a whole lot happier.

Kimberley

santos39 wrote: »

Nothing in my marriage was bad nothing at all just him ogling my daughters chests ok but i thought that was wrong so now he is gone . NO .

I thanked you by mistake Look you don't know if he was ogling her breasts in a sexual way, that is a very dangerous thing to assume because he could get into real trouble if he is innocent. Some men just don't think.

*Louise*

No offence - but the problem will still be there even though you've split up

You haven't sorted the root of the problem which is the fact that he does it without realising.

I assume your girls will visit him and see him regularly? - so he still needs to sort himself out.

*Louise*

Actually, I also wanted to add that I do applaud the fact that you are putting the feelings of your daughters before your marriage. Too many times we hear of mothers who didn't notice things or didn't listen. It's good that you are doing what you think is best for them.

poppyolivia

OP....what do your daughters think about whats happened right now with him leaving? Hope they are ok.

You DID do the right thing by the way....I was thinking about it all day thinking I was a prude but the more i thought about it the more I wanted to spew!...its really scarey.

squirrelchops

OP- is the man really the girls father or is he the step father?

I just wonder if anyones responses would have been different if he was the step father and not the biological father?

Not wishing to inflame anyone just ascertaining how people react differently to things such as this.

Errata

Kimberley wrote: »

I thanked you by mistake Look you don't know if he was ogling her breasts in a sexual way, that is a very dangerous thing to assume because he could get into real trouble if he is innocent. Some men just don't think.

Kimberley - neither do you know that he wasn't. Have you got your own agenda with this ?

Glamazon

squirrel - he is their real dad.

Santos - I've been keeping up with this thread all day but didn't have any advice to offer so didn't post.

Just wanted to say you know in your heart if you have made the right decision and that your girls can now grow up to be confident young women without having to cover up and worrying that everyone is ogling them.
I don't think you are a troll and think you have been brave to come on here and ask for advice - especially as these threads can turn a bit personal.

Good luck for the future,

anguk

Kimberley wrote: »

I thanked you by mistake Look you don't know if he was ogling her breasts in a sexual way, that is a very dangerous thing to assume because he could get into real trouble if he is innocent. Some men just don't think.

But you could just as easily say "you don't know if he was ogling at them in an innocent way, that would be a very dangerous thing to assume because he could get into real trouble if he's guilty."

It's true that she doesn't know if he was ogling them in a sexual way or not and as you say some men just don't think or realise that they're doing it. What does concern me though is the fact that he's been asked time and time again to stop doing it by both the op and the daughters yet he refuses to see it as a problem. Surely if he's been told it's bothering his daughters he would at least make an effort to stop, and the fact that he was willing to walk out on his wife and kids over it makes me wonder.

I've got 2 kids, my son will quite happily wander into the bathroom while I'm cleaning my teeth or something and plonk himself on the loo without batting an eyelid. My daughter(15) on the other hand, is quite shy and easily embarrassed, the other day we were shopping for clothes and she wanted me to go into the changing room with her to give my opinion. As I know she's a bit self-conscious I looked away while she was getting changed because I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable. My point is why would the guy still continue to stare at his daughter's breasts if he knows it's upsetting and embarrassing them?