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advice re nans rights to live in own home

Hi, im just after a bit of advice from people who might have been in the same situation or work in the care industry,
i have to warn you though, i disowned my grandmother almost 10 years ago after a childhood of abuse from her, im not a bad person but i honestly hate the old hag so if any of this comes across as cold or uncaring... thats why!

my grandmother lives in her own house, shes 85, im not entirely sure of medical history but she has elephantitis, and is front room ridden, she cant move under her own steam anymore, and the fact that shes steadily put on weight through enormous chocolate consumption over the last few years cant have helped!
she has a team of carers that have to come in twos now several times a day, to get her out of bed, to feed her, visit with her and hoist her back in to bed, she clearly has dementia in that she tells the doctors she can get up and walk and she hasnt stood up unaided for years now, she will say one thing to carers and then swear blind it never happened etc

my mum moved into the flat upstairs, not in a caring capacity although she looks after her mother as far as cooking some meals and a bit of company are concerned but she is unable to actively "care" for her mother, and neither should she just because they live in the same house, she has a full time job and it was made quite clear when she moved in that she was not at her mothers beck and call... but of course nan calls her down all the time only to say that she cant remember why when mum gets there...

but heres the real problem, she has a careline button around her neck and she presses that damn thing i dont know how many times a day, she calls the paramedics out because she cant get up (as i said already, she hasnt been able to get up for years, she forgets or chooses not to believe this and calls 999 thinking there is something wrong with her) she calls them when she slips down in her chair and gets uncomfortable, she calls them when she thinks she may roll her fat carcass out of bed, i know for a fact she called them once because she couldnt reach her drink!!! infact she calls them for any and every reason and its infuriating,
the ambulance is almost permanently parked outside her house and i think its a disgusting waste of resourses, obviously they have to attend every call and when they get arrive there is nothing wrong with her,

i would hate to think how many more people like her are wasting the time of the ambulance crew, stopping them attending real emergencies and helping people who actually need it,
the family and all the carers know that she needs full time care and the only way this will happen is in a care home (i might add at this point that the second my grandad got ill she shipped him out to the cheapest filthiest place she could find within a matter of days)
but apparently she has all these rights to live in her own home for as long as she wants no matter how clear it is that she would be 100% better off in a home,
she even complains she has no company (shouldnt have been such an old hag her whole life then... and maybe she would get visitors that are not paid to care!!) and even this would be solved by moving into a home,

is it right that the doctors put her to the back of the list when they get an out of hours call about her because they know it will be a wasted journey and yet they cant sign some forms and have her moved for her own good?

despite how i feel about her (which probably isnt helping! sorry... i have nothing against old people in general, im not some heartless old cow who disregards the older generation as a waste of resourses and oxygen.... its really just her, and trust me, she deserves it!)
i dont need replies about forgiving her while i have the chance - not happening, i need to know what can be done to get her into a home, i dread to think that people who really need an ambulance cant get one because she thinks she can run a marathon yet couldnt stand up if her life depended on it,

I read in the local paper the other day about how stretched our emergency services are already, how many hoax calls they get and how much it costs us... people have probably died because of my malingering grandmother and its not right.

please help!


  • Curious_George_2
    Curious_George_2 Forumite Posts: 2,501
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    jesus... that was long, sorry!
  • adecor
    adecor Forumite Posts: 269
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Combo Breaker
    My mum had dementia & didn't want to go into a home. Firstly, you have to get her assessed by the funny farm doctors - your gp will refer her if you ask. They will then say what state of dementia/altzeimers she has. If she states that she doesn't want to go into a home then the only option is to get her sectioned, which involves the police. We didn't want to do this & eventually got social services involved & they somehow got round this. You may have to push to get the help she needs as it is not readily offered. Due to her needs she will also have to go into a nursing home rather than just a care home, which is more costly to the council. Good luck!
  • tattoed_bum
    tattoed_bum Forumite Posts: 1,189 Forumite
    be warned though if the house belongs to your gran this may have to be sold to pay for the care ,if this happens this may leave your mother homeless
  • annie_d
    annie_d Forumite Posts: 933 Forumite
    From your brief description of the situation it does sound as if she needs 24 hour nursing care. Initially she will need assessing by her GP, then social worker who can determine where she will be best placed. Do her phusical needs outweigh her mental health needs or the other way around. This will affest where she is placed. As TB says...if the house is her own, it will be sold to pay towards her care.
  • cat_lady_4
    cat_lady_4 Forumite Posts: 119 Forumite
    if you look on your local authority website, you should find contact details for the relevant social work team, who need to do an assessment. alternatively, your g.p could contact them. like others have said, if she owns the house, it will prob. need to be sold to pay for her care.
  • cat_lady_4
    cat_lady_4 Forumite Posts: 119 Forumite
    regarding her not wanting to move- yes sectioning is a last resort, although it rarely comes to that. if a social worker has good rapport with somebody, its much easier to come to an agreement.
  • adecor
    adecor Forumite Posts: 269
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Combo Breaker
    If her nursing care is paramount I don't think they can necessarily touch the property, but I believe it is difficult to succeed!
  • Glamazon
    Glamazon Forumite Posts: 8,401 Forumite
    sounds like she's a big drain on NHS resources and needs 24 hour care.
    Agree with speaking with her GP - am sure they get their fair share of calls from her so may agree with a nursing/residential home.

    you will probably find that the Out of hours doctors (OOH) aren't her GP's - so whilst OOH put her to back of list it would need GP to involve social services.

    Hope it gets sorted soon - is your mum in a position to move out? You said she wasn't there to help but didn't indicate why she moved in? if she can move out then I would think that selling the house to pay for the care wouldn't be a problem.
    A very busy Yummy Mummy to a 1 year old gorgeous boy :smileyhea

    Where does the time go? :think:
  • Errata
    Errata Forumite Posts: 38,230
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    she has a team of carers that have to come in twos now several times a day, to get her out of bed, to feed her, visit with her and hoist her back in to bed

    Assuming this homecare is being delivered from an assessment of needs, the care plan should be reviewed every 12 months and can be reviewed every 3 or 6 months if necessary. Part of that review should be an assessment of mental capacity. When was the last review carried out ?
    is it right that the doctors put her to the back of the list when they get an out of hours call

    Emergency calls are given a priority according to symptoms. Clearly someone who is experiencing severe chest pains will be attended before someone who needs help to reach their drink.
    .................:)....I'm smiling because I have no idea what's going on ...:)
  • cat_lady_4
    cat_lady_4 Forumite Posts: 119 Forumite
    i believe the difficulty with nursing care fees, is that its only a small part of the care a person would receive in a nursing home. Care needs, such as bathing, dressing etc are social care needs, and if your grandmother owns the house they will be charged for.
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