advice re nans rights to live in own home

ukmaggie45

Curious_George wrote: »

thanks for thinking of me, but im perfectly happy, i have my own wonderful little branch of the family with OH and the kids and we have big plans for the future (hopefully that involve moving away from any blood relatives! that would make my life so much easier! lol)

I'm so glad you're happy and have your own family to love and be with. :j Nothing like kids to make you happy. :j Mine are all grown up now, but they both still make me happy every time I see them.

Thanks for responding - must admit wasn't quite sure to reply in the first instance as some folks are very against counselling, which I do understand. I am very lucky with my Counsellor. But felt it important to say for others who may read your thread as well as yourself. If you see what I mean!

I hope that your plans for the future all work out soon. It's good to look forward and have fun planning.

Best wishes, Maggie

foreign_correspondent

I do undrstand what you say that it may be better for her and everyone elase for her to go into a home, but legally, as she has mental capacity she is as entitled to make poor decisions as anyone else is... just as people are allowed to drink themselves to death, or do other things which amy not be good for them and those around them.

I understand your concern for your mum, but she has made her own choice about her level of involvment, just as you have, and I think that unless your gran's mental capacity can be shown to have changed significantly, she can get on with living as she does.

Getting her into hospital would make no difference, as she would be assessed for mental capacity, and if judged to have it, would be totally within her rights to go home and get on with it. If you want her re-assesed speak to her social worker or carers, there is no need for a hospital admission for this to happen.

treliac

Going into hospital can, for some people, make all the difference. Just being made more comfortable, having care, company and attention can dissaude some from wanting to go home again.

If someone insists upon going home, they may have to return in the end. However, there should be medical, occupational therapy and physiotherapy, etc. assessments to be undertaken first and, if long term care is assessed as being needed, there would be substantial encouragement and advice given to this effect.

It can be surprising how the experience can change how some people feel about their future and their confidence in returning to living on their own, especially as time away from home becomes longer.

OP - is there actually a reason for your grandmother to be admitted to hospital. If not yet, try not to miss an opportunity should it present.

LizzieS_2

Dementia is a regression illness - go back to childhood etc. It is possible that when asked about 'going to the shops etc' on 2 separate occasions she is at different levels of memory (may have been say 22 in mind on one occasion and 21 on the other). It is equally possible that she is being sarcastic by claiming to have been shopping due to realising everyone knows she can't move out of her chair - the later denial could just be a realisation that her story had been believed and she could be sectioned for her own silly earlier comments. It may be worth trying to get some psycharict (can't spell) help to check whether she is really fine or not. Your mother, however, does need to be honest with all the carer's for what she knows to be actually true (can do this outset nan's earshot, eg when seeing them to the door).

A relative had a emergency button thingy, not sure if your nan's is the same. His went through to a small team who themselves decided whether an ambulance was required, not directly to 999 services. He did use it once 'to see what would happen' (and got told off by us), it was some years ago now, but I'm sure they do try contacting by telephone before taking the 99 route. Perhaps it would help to find out exactly what does happen, and see if there is some intervention by a 3rd party who do speak to your nan - background of nan's real situation may help reduce the 999 scenario.

To board staff. Sorry if I'm not supposed to post in here - not sure what the forum heading means (age or posts, though the first definately does not apply to me).

Savvy_Sue

LizzieS wrote: »

To board staff. Sorry if I'm not supposed to post in here - not sure what the forum heading means (age or posts, though the first definately does not apply to me).

You are very welcome to post in here, regardless of age. We never ask to see your birth certificate or bus pass (I've not got one of those!) and if you can help answer questions you're doubly welcome!