advice re nans rights to live in own home

Curious_George_2

krisskross wrote: »

I get the feeling that you couldn't care less about the 'waste of resources' but are a rather spiteful individual. As you have 'disowned' her then just mind your own business.

you want to find out how spitefull i actually am, you keep posting rubbish like that where its not needed... :mad:
i dont have to list the reasons why this woman deserves the treatment she gets from me, infact if you would care to search my previous posts im sure ive gone into it on here before,
of course i care about people who cant get an ambulance because she ties one up 2 or 3 times a day, and its ridiculous for you to suggest anything else...

and as for your last comment, i would gladly leave the old cow festering in her own pit (well, actually i do, i dont see her or have anything to do with her... hence the disownment) but my mother lives there and this effects her life greatly... therefore i have to hear about it all the bloody time,
the family all agree that nan needs 24 hour care, but nobody knows how to go about it as she is unwilling to go quietly
if my mother was a member here she would have been able to ask the advice of people who actually know something about it herself,
but as im the member i have done it

i stress again, im asking for the advice of people who know what they are talking about, like foreign correspondent, mrs tine and others,
not someone who just wants to get into a cyber fight first thing on a sunday morning,

Curious_George_2

you will all be glad to hear i have absolutely nothing to do with her care, or how / when she recieves it... so im finding it difficult to answer some of the specific questions, i think i may try and get my mum round to read this and she may be able to shed more light on the stuff im not sure of,

she has been present during assessments and cant believe what shes hearing of out her mothers mouth, she says its all lies etc but doesnt seem to jump in and tell the people that

krisskross

Curious_George wrote: »

y

i stress again, im asking for the advice of people who know what they are talking about, like foreign correspondent, mrs tine and others,
not someone who just wants to get into a cyber fight first thing on a sunday morning,

What you want is for only people who agree with you to post.

I do know what I am talking about as I was a nurse involved in the community for many years.

Whether you like it or not if your grandmother wants to stay in her own home and her care can be managed at home then that is how it will be. No doubt there are professionals involved in her care and wellbeing. They want what is best for her, whatever that may be.

cool_pinkie

I agree with the advice that most people have given!

I'd call up Social Service and ask for a re-assessment of her needs. The maxiumum care package is normally x4 times a day by SS, but if ur nan/gran has over £22,250 she is a self funder. So in theory if she wanted she could find a carer to live with her 24/7 as a private arrangement. Not sure about the cost of this though.

And as others as said unless she is assessed as having no capacity by Doctor or professional then there is not much anyone can do to move her as it is deprevation of her libities. Also I think she would need whats called EMI Residential care due to her Dementia and if she is a self funder then the coast is probably around £450 a week.

Hope that helps!

dmg24

krisskross wrote: »

I get the feeling that you couldn't care less about the 'waste of resources' but are a rather spiteful individual. As you have 'disowned' her then just mind your own business.

This is the way that you are coming across to me also.

I am sorry that you have had a difficult time with your Grandma through your life, but your posts are clearly biased, and written in a way to produce responses that support your point of view. If you cannot view this situation impartially, then I think that that you should step away from it completely.

My Grandma lived at home until she passed away last year, aged 93. She had carers in morning and night, and meals on wheels. She did have the support of family also. She wasn't 'all there' at the end, and the option of residential care was discussed. However it was her decision, and as she didn't want it, we (and her care team) did all that we could to support her to stay at home.

Curious_George wrote: »

cat lady - thanks, i dont feel guilty though, (euthanasia is a marvellous thing lol) i feel nothing for her, i dont even think i hate her anymore... shes just nothing to me, thats why i thought you might all shout at me! lol

If you think that euthanasia is something to joke about, then I would suggest that you should seek help with your own mental health.

Actually I do think that you should seek some mental health support. You are clearly very bitter, and hopefully some talking therapy could help you get past this.

Curious_George_2

dmg24 wrote: »

your posts are clearly biased, and written in a way to produce responses that support your point of view. If you cannot view this situation impartially, then I think that that you should step away from it completely.

and had you read the thread properly you would see that i have stated several times that i have nothing to do with the woman, no contact, havent spoken to her for years, i couldnt step further away if i tried...ok?

im asking because im the only member of the family who posts on a message board and theres a broad spectrum of people willing to help, sadly there are also people who would rather jump on the unimportant points that dont need going over, just to wind up the OP. :rolleyes:

of course im biased, and thats why i explained in my first post about the situation with my grandmother so people wouldnt just be picking up on that aspect, but what i said was ignore that...im after actual advice about her care

and to you and the other poster who says im only after posts that agree with me, agree with what?
im not asking for agreement im asking for advice, and actually the best advice ive had so far is from someone whos telling me that nothing can be done, so why dont you either try to help constructively ie by actually reading before posting, or not bother at all...

how did i know that the whole dynamic of this thread would change the second it got moved to the arms?? it was pootling along nicely and actually getting somewhere before it got moved down here...
no wonder this part of the board has such a bad rep!

qwertyuiop12345

Errata wrote: »

Emergency calls are given a priority according to symptoms. Clearly someone who is experiencing severe chest pains will be attended before someone who needs help to reach their drink.

Unfortunately it is a bit more complicated that this. I have the misfortune to require ambulances on a fairly regular basis for genuine medical emergencies. I have often had to wait for a prolonged length of time (once almost 3 hours) and the paramedics are always very apologetic explaining that certain calls have to be answered first even if they suspect they are unnecessary calls. Eg. if you call an ambulance from a pay phone and hang up, those calls go to the front of the queue as they might be someone who has collapsed. Similarly I think some older people's beeper things also jump the queue in this way, even if they only wanted someone to reach their drink. Also many people tell the emergency services that they are much worse than they really are.

So usually I am lying on the floor in agony bleeding internally waiting for the ambulance to get here and the police to break down my front door so they can reach me - but first they have to go answer two hoax calls, go see a few grannies who cant reach their drinks, and pacify half a dozen fat middle aged men who ate too much curry and have heart burn that they think is a heart attack.

I expect I come across as angry and bitter about this - that is because I am! :mad:

Someday I will probably die as a result of all the stupid people that phone 999 for silly reasons. I am not exaggerating when I say this, sadly it is probably true.

Errata

Sorry you're having such a bad experience.
My post was about out of hours GP service, not the ambulance service -

Quote:
is it right that the doctors put her to the back of the list when they get an out of hours call
Emergency calls are given a priority according to symptoms. Clearly someone who is experiencing severe chest pains will be attended before someone who needs help to reach their drink.

qwertyuiop12345

Errata wrote: »

Sorry you're having such a bad experience.
My post was about out of hours GP service, not the ambulance service -

Sorry:embarasse I just got out of hospital this afternoon and I'm in a terrible mood. I probably shouldn't be posting on messageboards at the moment as I know I am just taking it out on other people.

Went in to hospital thursday afternoon after waiting over an hour for the ambulance, when I read the bit in the OP about the poster's nan ringing for paramedics for no good reason I just sort of lost it!

I'm really sorry :embarasse Didn't mean to get at you at all.....

Curious_George_2

thats awful, im so sorry to hear it...

i hate to think of people like you with genuine emergencies having to wait because of people time wasting needlessly,

i dont blame you for 'losing it' it frustrates the hell out of us!
as far as im concerned what my nan is doing is no better than people maliciously hoax calling 999, and i dread to think of how many people have had to wait because of her, lets face it, seconds can mean the difference between life and death at times,