Shocked - Meeting at School

marty1888

leiela wrote: »

Today myself and my husband where called out of work unexpectedly by the school so go and see to an incident.

The whole affair has left me shocked beyond belief.

It seemed my 7 year old son, beat a girl in his class so severly she had to be taken to hospital.

Luckily the the girl is fine, understandably shook up and alittle bit bruised but otherwise fine.

The reason this shock's me so much is that its the first time anything like this has happened my 7 year old can be a handful in that he's he doens't always listen to instructions and can be abit naughtie occasionally, the kind of little boy that would rather have bad attention than no attention at all.

Going to school was a shock for him he didn't like bieng one of many children fighting for the attention of the teacher but working with the school his behaviour has noticably improved and his last report card was exellent a vast improvement.

thing is ill hold my hand up and say he's cheeky, he can be disruptive but i just don't understand it because he's not a violent little boy, infact quite to opposite he's the most loving caring little boy you'd ever hope to meet and i could barely belive what i was hearing.

There are a number of things i could expect from him, a number of things i'd expect to be dragged upto the school for but violence is just not one of them.. im just in shock, im in shock he'd hit another child never mind beat her so badly she needed to go to hospital.

Needless to say im distraught, this is not the sort of thing i would have EVER dreamed of having to deal with.

I've sat him down with the teachers and alone and spoken to him about what happened, it seems that some older boys where bullying him and unable to deal with them he snapped at the first person who spoke to him which apparently this little girl who was annoying him.

To be it seems like he just lost control, unable to deal with the bullys he lost his temper and snapped, which at least i can rationalise better than the thought that me son randomly beats other children for no reason.

Still as much as i can mentally cope with he reasoning and it gives me alittle peace knowing it was probabally i one off i don't want to make excuses for him. A little girl is badly hurt and my son was responsible.

All the usual punishments seem to pale, i REALLY need him to know that this is TOTALLY unexecptable behaviour... but im so angry i can't even seem to rationalise it, seriously i never dreamed id be in this position.

I've already spoken to the school about the other side of it, ie the bullys who triggered my son to do this, and they have said they will look into it. But still i feel i need to do something? should i write a letter to the little girls mum apologising for his behaviour, what about him?? he's 7!!!! what he's done is unthinkable how do i even begin to punish him for putting a girl into hospital???

So you’re admitting he has behavioral problems? At the end of the day, the Teacher isn’t his parent and he merits the same attention from them as the other 20 or so kids that are in the class. It’s only fair that the Teachers time is divided equally.
You say he is the kind of little boy that would rather have bad attention than no attention, that sounds like a spoilt kid to me. And he couldn’t be that caring a little boy if he has battered some poor girl enough to leave her in hospital.
You seem to be prepared to make excuses for him, and have done so and keep asking "what about him, he’s 7" as if that’s an acceptable reason for what happened. At 7 he should know that beating anyone let alone a girl is wrong and the first place he should learn this is at home. In regards, to the bullying that you say he may be experiencing (and I use may because as yet this is unfounded and has yet to be investigated by the school), you say he’s a bit of a cheeky kid, is he clever enough to come up with this as a way of justifying what he did?
My initial re-action to the post is that you are looking more for sympathy for you and your son than for the poor little girl. If it was my child, and this sentiment has already been expressed by another poster on this thread, I would demand that your child is removed from the school.

marty1888

skylight wrote: »

Poor little mite. It sounds like he is worried and scared right now and needs a lot of love and hugs.

yeah poor little boy, lets reward him for his actions.....

mrcow

This sounds like a complete stressful nightmare. I think you have to let the school deal with this in the way that they see fit and show him that you are supporting them.

I personally wouldn't write a letter of apology to the girl/parents - that's something for your son to do. If you've not offered for him to do this yet, speak to the school and ask if they think it will help by ways of starting the whole recovery process.

As a parent, I certainly wouldn't take my eye off the bullying issue. he school also need to be seen to be dealing with it. Make sure they have your concerns raised formally and that they are seen to be dealing with it.

My worry is that this whole incident could exacerbate the situation. If your son is being picked on, now he's given people something real to pick on him about.

dipsy

I think that a letter from him to her sounds like a good idea, but only if he is doing it because he wants to and not because he thinks it will get him off the hook.

kids do all sorts of things we wouldn't expect them to - when they think people are not looking, even the most angelic child can turn into a devil at the flick of a switch if provoked and sometimes just because they have somehow been visited by the demons on that particular day.

Maybe get the teacher to speak to the girls parents and see if they are prepared to meet to discuss with you and your partner, on your own at first to find out their feelings and see if they are prepared to speak with your son and let him apologise directly to them and to their daughter.

is she back at school and are they in same class?

Reggie_Rebel

leiela wrote: »

how do i even begin to punish him for putting a girl into hospital???

Take away the things he enjoys the most.

anguk

There's something I don't quite understand. There were no witnesses but a teacher has said the boy hit the girl who then hit him back and he fell over. He then kicked the girl several times in the legs while he was lying on the ground. If there were no witnesses how does the teacher know this?

And it seems odd to me that the boy could kick the girls legs so much to make a hospital visit necessary, surely if he was on the ground and the girl was standing up she would have moved out of the way so he couldn't kick her? I may be wrong but it's as if there's a bit more to the story, it just seems strange that the school would take the little girl to hospital for a few kicks to the leg.

SandC

There are differing opinions as to 'bullying' that goes on in the playground though.

As an example - my nephew is in first year of secondary school (dunno what they call it these days). Sometime during the first time a friend of his mum's phones her up telling her about how furious she is that her son (also in my nephew's year and a friend of sorts) is being bullied by older lads and refers to an incident where they were queuing for class and an older boy came along hitting them all. My nephew was in this same queue.

This other boy had gone home complaining of being bullied, his mum all set to charge up to school to 'sort it out'.

So my sis in law asks my nephew about it, seeing how he was there and he hadn't come home complaining of the same thing. My nephew told her that they were lined up and an older boy came along bashing each boy on the back of the head as he went. In his words 'it was nothing mum'.

So you see - to one child something is bullying. To another, it's all part of growing up and knowing that kids are not always the nicest to each other. Granted, no kid should be physically doing anything to another one, but the bullying tag seems to have got out of hand with a lot of people.

phunkles

anguk wrote: »

There's something I don't quite understand. There were no witnesses but a teacher has said the boy hit the girl who then hit him back and he fell over. He then kicked the girl several times in the legs while he was lying on the ground. If there were no witnesses how does the teacher know this?

And it seems odd to me that the boy could kick the girls legs so much to make a hospital visit necessary, surely if he was on the ground and the girl was standing up she would have moved out of the way so he couldn't kick her? I may be wrong but it's as if there's a bit more to the story, it just seems strange that the school would take the little girl to hospital for a few kicks to the leg.

I found that bit strange too.

However - from the OPs 1st post the facts that are solid concrete are 'something happened' (no witnesses at all so its something) a little girl ended up in hospital.
However in the primary school I know of - if an incident occurs which leaves a mark or a bruise or a swelling then the parent of said child is contacted and advised to take child to hospital for further medical aid (mainly to cover the school and the first aiders)

However I think everyone needs to try and have the perception of the little girls parents in this incident - their child has been taken to hospital following 'something' at playtime.

I doubt the full truthful story will ever come out over this -
OP - just a small point has the school got CCTV cameras on the playarea? - I know the primary school here has

AliceMegan93

I personally would take my child to see the girl to apologise at least then her parents can see that he is actually sorry for what he did

Damzel_In_Distress

I am shocked by some of the comments you have made.
Before even getting onto the subject of what he has done,i just have to mention the fact that all you seem to have done is make excuses for you son
"hes a good kid"..."i have let him down"..."he wants to have all the attention and struggles" are just a few of the things you have said.:eek:
I cant belive that someone can be that blind to just not see when their child has a problem. You cannot blame "bullies" which there is no proof off,and your child wouldnt be the first in history to blame bullies for their behaviour when indeed there never were any "bullies" and you cant blame the fact he doesnt do well with fighting for attention-that just shows what sort of possible behaviour and problems you may well have.

I am suprised the school have not even hinted at the possibility of removing your son from the school-if my son had done this i would be removing him myself,and seeking emergency help.
Sorry to go on but from the age of 8 a child can be prosectuted in a court of law and be put away for criminal behaviour-and attacking someone in a violent outburst is just that. The reason they can be prosecuted is because they do know right from wrong by this age.
Another thing to think about is he did this to a little girl not another boy. But a female.Which boys are always taught is wrong.
Something just doesnt sit right with my about this whole thing. That poor little girl is probably so shaken up and so far you admitted he has problems with his behaviour due to "wanting all the attention"...So why cant you see the obvious? Problems?...Yes ill bloody say!!