Shocked - Meeting at School

andyrules

Stephb1986 wrote: »

Hi Leila I dont know what sort of punishment would be suitable. I think that schools send children to hospital for nothing really just to make it sound worse than it actually is!

When I was younger and I will admit I was naughty I once hit a boy over the head with a plastic 12 inch ruler it wasn't hard or anything and he was teasing me (I know it was wrong) and it put a tiny tiny cut on the back of his head he was sent to hospital for that!!! Fair enough if I had hit him over the head with a chair or something but a bluddy ruler!

I'm sure the little girl will be fine, Maybe when she is back in school get your son to apologise to her?

Steph xx

Do you really think schools have nothing better to do? They will have sent the child to hospital to ensure none of the injuries were significant, to cover both the safety of the child and themselves.

Leila, I can't see if you have mentioned your son's friends - does he have a friendship group? I notice there were no witnesses. If this is the case, then I would be concerned about this and ask the school to help here. They can, at this age (Y2/3?), be quite manipulative and try to integrate him a little more. Can you be pro-active and organise activities whereby he can socialise more? Sorry if this is already happening - I'm just picturing the scenario of a lone child being a bit of a target and lashing out. Not that it's an excuse, but a reason that could be addressed.

SandC

My brother did something similar when we were at primary school, he may have been 8 or 9 at the time. Some misunderstanding with another kid who was younger and my brother decided it would be a good idea to kick him. Only he went too high, kicked him in the face and the boy lost a couple of his (milk) teeth.

Now this was a very small school, everyone knew everyone and all parents knew each other. The boy's mum came round to ours and my mum was absolutely distraught that he could hurt someone like this. I played with the boy and his brother while my brother was given a right talking to. My mum was so upset by it that after they left she went off in her car on her own, leaving us at home. The other mother also got the police involved, who came around and had some words.

Just the very reaction of everyone around him, plus having the police talk to him, was all the punishment that my brother needed. He didn't mean to kick him in the face or damage him in anyway, but the fact was that he did and he needed to be taught to be responsible and never lash out at anyone - otherwise see what the consequences might be.

I never did anything so bad but when I did, the absolute thing that meant it would not be repeated was my parents being upset and let down by me. That is 10 times worse than being shouted at.

You are lucky in a way that the little girl's parents have not had the police called out. But in another way, that could be what really made it clear to my brother that he had done very, very wrong. He certainly never acted like that again and they were friends again in no time (well as much as they ever were).

lynnexxxo

I have to say that after reading Leilas posts i think, although your son was wrong to hit the girl and should be suitably punished I can see it from the little boys point of view:

Hes playing football, some of the bigger boys are being nasty to him, then this little girl tells him hes rubbish at football. He pushes her, she pushes him back and he falls over, hes a little hurt, upset and embrassed and while still on the ground kicks her a few times on the legs in anger, which while is probably quite sore for the girl, she hams it up as all seven year old girls do.
Cue indignation, howling and 'poor girl' 'bad boy' and the few kicks that were not that sore turn into a major trauma as the girl gets more attention .

Penny35_2

lynnexxxo wrote: »

I have to say that after reading Leilas posts i think, although your son was wrong to hit the girl and should be suitably punished I can see it from the little boys point of view:

Hes playing football, some of the bigger boys are being nasty to him, then this little girl tells him hes rubbish at football. He pushes her, she pushes him back and he falls over, hes a little hurt, upset and embrassed and while still on the ground kicks her a few times on the legs in anger, which while is probably quite sore for the girl, she hams it up as all seven year old girls do.
Cue indignation, howling and 'poor girl' 'bad boy' and the few kicks that were not that sore turn into a major trauma as the girl gets more attention .

Bet thats not how little girls parent are seeing it.

Marcheline

Hi leila

I was just wondering whether your son is allowed to watch/witness violent films/programmes or whether he plays/witnesses violent computer games? It may be nothing to do with this at all and that you keep him to age appropriate activities, but if not, it might be something to look at? Hope the situation gets sorted soon.

tiamai_d

I think some people are forgetting that a child does not need to witness violence (in life, TV, computer games) to have a violent outburst. It's all well and good for us adults to know that it is wrong and to not get ourselves into such situations, but a child is a child. They have a limited understanding of their own emotions and sometimes for no reason these emotions become confusing and bubble over into violence. No amount of talking and socialising will make then mature and grow up any quicker.

Marcheline

I am not forgetting this at all, I am just saying that there are plenty of parents who would allow a young child to play Grand Theft Auto, which is unsuitable. Children do have violent outbursts for no reason, however they also imitate what they see.

McKneff

Power rangers had a lot to answer for with my grandchildren so I think its a valid point.

lynnexxxo

Penny35 wrote: »

Bet thats not how little girls parent are seeing it.

Well yeah, but i think most parents, after calming down are quite willing to accept that their child is unlikely to be entirely innocent.

I'm not saying that the little boy was right to hit the girl, or that its acceptable. Just that his side of the story is important too.

IsoChick

lynnexxxo wrote: »

Hes playing football, some of the bigger boys are being nasty to him, then this little girl tells him hes rubbish at football. He pushes her, she pushes him back and he falls over, hes a little hurt, upset and embrassed and while still on the ground kicks her a few times on the legs in anger, which while is probably quite sore for the girl, she hams it up as all seven year old girls do.

Yup, kicks her a few times on the legs... like some premiership footballers do on purpose!

My sister and I managed to hospitalise each other several times before we were 11... injuries included: head cut open, broken arm, face kicked into radiator: loss of 2 teeth, broken collarbone, facial stitches etc. And we're both female!

I know it must be a horrible shock for your boy to do this. I think a nice card or flowers to the mum of the other child - possibly given through the school would be nice. I also think it's worth having your son checked out by the GP, just to rule anything nasty out.