Shocked - Meeting at School

Damzel_In_Distress

Stephb1986 wrote: »

She is saying on a thread that it is normal for someone to behave like an animal and doesn't see why the taxi driver reported it. Yet a child having a small fight is the worse thing in the world!

You really are a maniac arnt you ?

Whats in one thread has no involvement in another thread,and most sane people dont mix other threads in with others in order to try and cause trouble :rolleyes:

!!!!!! stop being such a child-There is something very wrong with you!

Damzel_In_Distress

scottishchick27 wrote: »

Ok, I now understand. Damzel has posted on another thread about Jade's bloke. Sorry but it wasn't clear if you have just read this thread. (I'm off to have a look at the other thread now )

Yes and when you read it please take note that she has only read what she wanted to-and not what i actually said-which to save you some time was that i thought he should be back in prison personally for what he had done.:rolleyes:

Chas

Damzel_In_Distress wrote: »

There is something very wrong with you!

pot - kettle - black :rotfl:

Damzel_In_Distress

Chas wrote: »

pot - kettle - black :rotfl:

Im not the only person on this thread or others shes commented on thats thought it :rolleyes:

And funny how its never been said to me before-Im sorry but this thread has got nothing to do with the jade thread and only a child would involve the two in order to start some sort of argument,just because two people have a difference on opinion on what is acceptable from a child.

There is nothing wrong with my having my own opinion on a subject-and i certainly wouldnt follow her over to another thread and bring up this one,only read half of her comments then lie about what she said later :rolleyes:
Which is what she has done to me,probably in some vain attempt to look good.:rolleyes:

Chas

This whole incident needs to be put into perspective.

Of course Leiela's son has acted appallingly & of course he needs to be punished & made to understand why his behaviour was wrong. Any decent parent would be determined to sort the problem out.

Of course the little girl is going to be upset & her parents are going to be furious. Any parent would be.

But, Leiela has said that this is the first time her son has ever acted violently and she has said that her son's teacher has agreed it's totally out of character. Something must have triggered this incident & hopefully, with proper investigation & with everyone acting together (i.e. both children, both sets of parents & the school) the boy will be punished & it will be a one-off incident.

All this talk of excluding the boy is ridiculous. If he's excluded where will he go to school? At another school, where he'll start with a label.

I work in school and I see the most appalling behaviour at times. Some of the boys are thugs, some of the girls are angelic. However, some of the girls are so spiteful it's shocking and some of the boys are quiet, shy and studious.

I don't understand why some of you are saying it's worse because the boy hit a girl? Would it have been ok if it had been two boys scrapping? Or a spiteful girl hitting a timid boy? Of course it wouldn't, it makes no difference.

Leiela has come on here & I believe that she is genuinely shocked & appalled by her son's behaviour. Her 'excuses' for her son, to me, seem to illustrate how out of character this incident is & maybe there is a bullying issue or a behaviour problem that needs to be addressed.

There is a huge difference between naughty/cheeky/disruptive behaviour in the classroom and violence.

Parents with the attitude of YorkiePud really don't help and just undermine the school.

Leiela - if your son had attacked my 7 year old child (boy or girl) I would appreciate an apology from both you & your son, as it would show me that a) you are actually aware of the situation and b) that you want to find out why it happened and take action to stop it happening again. It's definitely best to arrange this through the school.

Good luck in getting this sorted out.

Chas

Damzel_In_Distress wrote: »

Im not the only person on this thread or others shes commented on thats thought it :rolleyes:

And funny how its never been said to me before-Im sorry but this thread has got nothing to do with the jade thread and only a child would involve the two in order to start some sort of argument,just because two people have a difference on opinion on what is acceptable from a child.

There is nothing wrong with my having my own opinion on a subject-and i certainly wouldnt follow her over to another thread and bring up this one,only read half of her comments then lie about what she said later :rolleyes:
Which is what she has done to me,probably in some vain attempt to look good.:rolleyes:

The pair of you clearly have some sort of problem with each other, so maybe it would be best to simply put each other on ignore?

Your initial post about Jack Tweed did seem to imply (to me and others, maybe?) that attacks on taxi drivers are unimportant and not worth reporting. I see you've now edited your post to make it clear what you meant. :T

There is a relevance between the two threads as both concern violent attacks. Your comments on the two threads seemed contradictory, before you edited them.

Damzel_In_Distress

Chas wrote: »

There is a huge difference between naughty/cheeky/disruptive behaviour in the classroom and violence.

I agree with most of the rest of your post-But how is repeatedly kicking someone not violent behaviour? Its hardly just cheeky is it!

Damzel_In_Distress

Chas wrote: »

The pair of you clearly have some sort of problem with each other, so maybe it would be best to simply put each other on ignore?

Your initial post about Jack Tweed did seem to imply (to me and others, maybe?) that attacks on taxi drivers are unimportant and not worth reporting. I see you've now edited your post to make it clear what you meant. :T

There is a relevance between the two threads as both concern violent attacks. Your comments on the two threads seemed contradictory, before you edited them.

Yes,well i dont have a problem with her-im perfectly open to hearing others opinions and taking them on board.I would of never brought up her comments here on another thread,people can disagree on one thread then be in absolute agreement on another.
I have put her on ignore,not specifically because she annoys me, mostly because I genuinely can't be arsed to read her childish posts anymore.

Glitzkiss

I think some of the posters here are losing all sense of perspective; possibly fuelled by todays media. As has been previously stated kids can be horrible to each other but it does not necessarily mean that they are going to end up as serial killers or spouse beaters.

Kids lash out because they are unable to articulate their feelings properly. One childhood incident does not make a career criminal.

When my sister was in primary school she used to get bullied by a girl who lived up the road from us. This girl would pull my sister's hair until huge clumps left her scalp and she had bald patches. Naturally when my mum found out she was furious and went to see my sister's tormentors mum. She was equally horrified and furious but between the two parents they were able to ascertain that the root of the problem was simply jealousy over long hair. The problem got solved and 20 years on we are all still friends. To my knowledge none of us have maimed or killed anyone since.

Leiela, well done for trying to understand your son's behaviour and for seeking advice about how to make amends. I agree with those who suggested you liaise with the teacher about approaching the girl's parents with an apology as they will be able to advise they best way to go about this.

Good luck

Firefly

Leiela, what an awful day you had and I feel for you.

Firstly you might find it helpful to read a book called The Explosive Child by Ross Greene:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Explosive-Child-Understanding-Frustrated-Chronically/dp/006077939X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1236226633&sr=1-1

Many of the strategies given in that book could be helpful to your child.

I'd be starting with talking to him about how his body feels when he's angry like this because many children are unable to recognise the physical signs of frustration, anger, etc. As an adult we can recognise the way our body reacts when we're about to 'snap' but children can't. They don't have the language to describe what is happening to them. If you give them that language they may be able to ask for help, explain themselves or take alternative action.

I'm not sure that any of us can answer the question about what to do about the victim. She will, in due course, need an apology and I'd be discussing with son how you could make amends for what he's done. Would that involve a gift, a verbal or written apology? Ask him what would make him feel better if the same had happened.

For now, I'd be monitoring his behaviour very closely, making sure he was listened to (and counselling would serve that purpose but agree with Poet that perhaps a step too far at the present time) and giving him a language to use. Does being cross make you feel hot? Tense? Show him what tension is, go through some role play with what various faces look like, fear, excitement, sadness, frustration and how our body reacts for each one. When you see him being over-playful, demanding, or difficult at home, stop him and talk through what is happening. Easier said than done when you've got someone having a tantrum though!

If he has a narrative for his feelings you might find things easier for him.

He will also need to see clear consequences for his actions that are followed through. It's no good saying "no tv" then relenting on this because you want to watch something before he's in bed, etc.

Most importantly, talk about the incident. I'd be trying to separate any bullying issues from this although giving him strategies for coping and managing difficult situations will help him.

Like another poster has said, I've never met a bad child, just one who reacts wrongly.

Good luck.