Ever feel trapped???

Bettyboop

I could have written parts of your post. I was invited to watch a friend sing in her band but could not go because of the kids and house. Everyone I know has kids but I do not get or have time for myself . I use the Internet now and again and thats honestly it. I really wish I could have just 20 mins a day to do what I want. Sometimes it's overbearing when you have been doing kids things all day, not to mention cooking and houswork. My husband also wants me to get a part time job but with 2 children and the holidays and expense of it all it really is difficult as we don't have a family support network. Rant over : )

JoolzS

bestpud wrote: »

Can't your OH babysit one night a week while you go out and do something for you?

Father's don't "babysit"!

Julie

V_tricky

I found it relatively easy when my LO was tiny - he would sleep lots, even if he was just in his ring sling and I carried him around no problem. The bit I began to find really tough was just dropping that last nap.

That one hour gave me enough time to sit down, or get on with the washing up in peace, or read the Sunday paper (probably by Thursday!) and tlosing that last one hour a day.. oh my. That was so hard.

Then something started to change - I adapted to suit his needs largely. We went out and did 'stuff' in the mornings (a fair bit of shopping, walks, park, soft play centres, whatever I needed or wanted to get done) and chilled out around the house in the pm's - if we weren't in the house, we weren't making it messy and if we were out in the morning, he could be grumpy at home (much more easy to deal with than being in a shopping mall with an overtired toddler!).

As he grew and actually needed the sleep less, it all [the situation] became a whole lot more manageable again and I am back to relishing the time that I have with him, and I stopped feeling that trapped sensation so much.

Do you take your LO to any mother&toddler groups? - I didn't after the first year, but I know lots of people who have met some really great & supportive friends, and just watching the children play rather than being No 1 entertainer for a bit can be a really valuable downtime for you too. This might be an easier step than getting a part time job (which may well be as rare as hens teeth anyway at the moment!)

I hope you start to feel better soon chick

jopsey

not read through all post's so apologies if mentioned ,do you have a local Sure Start centre ? I have been on some fab course's ranging from computers , scapbooking first aid ,Art, plus lot's lot's more in between while little one was in crèche and all free .
Made some fab friend's aswell as getting a break and learning something new ,keeping the brain ticking.
My little boy start's school in sept and I have been a SAHM I know only too well that feeling ,I know you say playgroups ain't your thing ,but Sure Start has a lot more to offer than just playgroups it has been my lifeline .
please feel free to PM

jimexbox

JoolzS wrote: »

Father's don't "babysit"!

Julie

Really, every father I know does, including me. Although I do tell the Mrs how lucky she is.;)

alwaysonthego_2

jimexbox wrote: »

Really, every father I know does, including me. Although I do tell the Mrs how lucky she is.;)

I think she means that fathers do not babysit their children because they have parental responsibilities towards that child, so should not be classed as baby sitting i.e mummys don't babysit their own child.

jimexbox

alwaysonthego wrote: »

I think she means that fathers do not babysit their children because they have parental responsibilities towards that child, so should not be classed as baby sitting i.e mummys don't babysit their own child.

Ah, it is early. Although my wife still calls it babysitting when I put my hand up, is she trying to imply something?;)

Lalaladybird

I am getting some good ideas here everyone - thank you :T

Sure start sounds fantastic but there aren't any in my area sadly. I'm in Scotland and it seems to be in England only :rolleyes:

My OH will baby sit, I think he likes having daddy daughter time so I will try to take advantage of that more often My mum and dad live 400 miles away so unfortunately no help there and my OH won't let me put our dd in a creche or nursery as he doesn't trust these places!!:rolleyes: If I get a p/t job it would have to be on Sundays and evenings when he can watch dd, this would leave no time for us which I think is a bad idea too. Maybe I should become an avon rep or something I'll be really happy to work once dd is in nursery/school.

Night classes are a great idea, exercise even better I suppose as I still need to shift the baby weight (that I have since since even before I was pregnant :rotfl:)

Bettyboop....I know how horrible it feels to have to turn down nights out....I couldn't go to my best friend's party recently and can't go to her hen do because OH works those nights. He is taking time off so we can go to her wedding though. TBH, most of my friends are getting really annoyed at me lately because I can rarely take them up on offers of nights out. They hear me complain that I want time to myself but then I can hardly ever come out because of the wee one.

Lalaladybird

jimexbox wrote: »

Ah, it is early. Although my wife still calls it babysitting when I put my hand up, is she trying to imply something?;)

I call it babysitting too when OH watches our dd. Much easier than saying "could you please live up to your responsibilities and look after your daughter this evening"

ailuro2

Go do an evening class - something where you'll meet other people and maybe even do something a bit different - learn a language, upholstery, how to do Reiki - anything that isn't giving you time to think about your family back home.

Many mums with a child of 14 months work full time, and the house doesn't collapse around them... so a part time job would be useful if you were up for it - put the money towards a luxury weekend away for you and DH down at your parents - they can babysit, you visit them, but also disappear overnight to a plush hotel.

At 14 months you DD needs to start being with other kids on a regular basis too - so force yourself to do the 'playgroup' thing.;)