OS Daily Tues 20th Jan 09

*Maya*

thriftlady wrote: »

It is possible to love someone dearly but still be irritated by them. There is no way I would wish my mum out of my life -I love her, she is a fantastic granny and the kids adore her. I just find her too much in my life at the moment.

I'm truly sorry if I have upset anyone who is grieving for their mums.

I dont post in this thread but I read it every day and I will say sorry in advance if anyone thinks my post is harsh. I just want to give another view.

My mother is still alive so I did not find your post upsetting in that regard but your posts yesterday grated on me. First your daughter was ill and your main concern was missing your French class then you talked about your mother and how she irritates you and you have cut her visits from once a week to once every three weeks. Today you say that she is a wonderful grandmother to your children and that you love her dearly but you seem to forget her feelings regarding spending time with you and her grandchildren. I assume she is elderly. There must be some way that you can make time in your life to accomodate her more often so that she and your children can benefit? Could she babysit and you and oh go out when she's there if she annoys you that much? Grandparents are wonderful people and memories of the time I spent with my grandmother are still with me.

You post superb practical housekeeping cooking and nutritional advice on the os board but is os not about much more than that? Is it not about basic values, some selflessness and valuing family members too?

katholicos

N9eav

Hope you don't mind my asking, but what happens to the alcohol after it is purchased from these shops? I'm curious about it for no other reason than that i couldn't imagine a 14 year old saying 'take this back please, i was only doing a survey and I don't want the drink'...well, my teens wouldn't feel comfortable admitting something like that and maybe getting lots of flack off the shop keeper.

wannabe_sybil

*Maya* wrote: »

I dont post in this thread but I read it every day and I will say sorry in advance if anyone thinks my post is harsh. I just want to give another view.

My mother is still alive so I did not find your post upsetting in that regard but your posts yesterday grated on me. First your daughter was ill and your main concern was missing your French class then you talked about your mother and how she irritates you and you have cut her visits from once a week to once every three weeks. Today you say that she is a wonderful grandmother to your children and that you love her dearly but you seem to forget her feelings regarding spending time with you and her grandchildren. I assume she is elderly. There must be some way that you can make time in your life to accomodate her more often so that she and your children can benefit? Could she babysit and you and oh go out when she's there if she annoys you that much? Grandparents are wonderful people and memories of the time I spent with my grandmother are still with me.

You post superb practical housekeeping cooking and nutritional advice on the os board but is os not about much more than that? Is it not about basic values, some selflessness and valuing family members too?

Welcome to the thread - don't hold back! Don't worry about who you upset, who will be devastated by your posts, who will be sitting here wondering why, when their mother has driven them to suicide attempts, what they did wrong. Just come right out and tell it how it is.

You are the same person who told me I was violating my son's basic human rights because my mental illness was making it hard for me to take him to play group. How good did I feel then! I remember, I cried for hours.

I look forward with interest to see your other posts on this thread. I am sure that they will be illuminating and extremely helpful.

bargainbird

wannabe_sybil wrote: »

Welcome to the thread - don't hold back! Don't worry about who you upset, who will be devastated by your posts, who will be sitting here wondering why, when their mother has driven them to suicide attempts, what they did wrong. Just come right out and tell it how it is.

You are the same person who told me I was violating my son's basic human rights because my mental illness was making it hard for me to take him to play group. How good did I feel then! I remember, I cried for hours.

I look forward with interest to see your other posts on this thread. I am sure that they will be illuminating and extremely helpful.

:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:rotfl:

*Maya*

wannabe_sybil wrote: »

Welcome to the thread - don't hold back! Don't worry about who you upset, who will be devastated by your posts, who will be sitting here wondering why, when their mother has driven them to suicide attempts, what they did wrong. Just come right out and tell it how it is.

You are the same person who told me I was violating my son's basic human rights because my mental illness was making it hard for me to take him to play group. How good did I feel then! I remember, I cried for hours.

I look forward with interest to see your other posts on this thread. I am sure that they will be illuminating and extremely helpful.

Thank you for the lovely welcome.

I am very sorry if I upset anyone and as for the other post you are referring to, you asked for advice and I gave it. In every thread you have started you mention your inability to take your son out and yet when people suggest practical ways to help and support you become aggressive. What a shame.
If anyone is interested you can look at the thread in question, started by sybil and see that I was worried about her and tried to help her. I could hardly have foreseen that my help would leave you crying for hours.

Sorry about that but I can't be held accountable for you not getting to hear what you want when you start a thread.

mioliere

Aussie - just wanted to send you a (((hug))). I lost my father 40 years ago (on 9th February, so the day we dread is looming), and I still think about him every single day. It does get easier with time, I promise, but it never stops hurting.

I must confess to laughing when you said you'd been to the circus and did some 'related activities' - I now have visions of you trapezing or tightrope-walking!

Well, I went to the bank, came home and opened two letters that both contained cheques, so I went to the bank again! I could have left them until tomorrow but, knowing my luck, something would happen to make me forget, or I'd spill coffee on them so at least they are safe in there now.

The weather is gorgeous after a really gloomy start - I can hardly believe how it's brightened up, so I hope everyone else is enjoying the same. It's still cold, though, but I'm not complaining!

Anyway, off to have some lunch.

KathyXX

mioliere

Well said, Sybil!:T :T

wannabe_sybil

*Maya* wrote: »

Thank you for the lovely welcome.

I am very sorry if I upset anyone and as for the other post you are referring to, you asked for advice and I gave it. In every thread you have started you mention your inability to take your son out and yet when people suggest practical ways to help and support you become aggressive. What a shame.
If anyone is interested you can look at the thread in question, started by sybil and see that I was worried about her and tried to help her. I could hardly have foreseen that my help would leave you crying for hours.

Sorry about that.

Actually, I don't remember being aggressive - I do remember having to defend my dear heart as he is a wonderful person. I am happy for anyone to read the thread as I have shared all my concerns on here anyway.

You came across as someone looking for problems that were not there. I am sorry to have disappointed you, but you can always make up for it by watching some soaps if my problems fail to entertain you sufficiently.

And I have appreciated and posted thanks on all the practical suggestions. Hmm. The support from people on here has made it possible to do what I am going to do this afternoon - take my little bear out. As I did yesterday. The suggestions were appreciated, but not all were practical for my circumstances and I certainly did not get upset at people making suggestions.

And what do you expect me to feel when you tell me that I am violating my son's human rights? Do you not think I am carrying enough of a load of guilt about how my condition affects him? And when someone has a good natured vent about their daughter and their mother, with no indication that they would not drop everything if necessary, you want to have a go.

Just for the record, the Health Visitor said that even though little bear is only going to playgroup once a week, that was nothing to do with his speech development. They had no other concerns about his welfare.

And if you continue to post upsetting posts, expect to be challenged.

*moggins*

I think a reminder is needed that regardless of the rest of the forum, OS has always been a place where the old adage "if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all, has been it's saviour, help and advice are always welcome, !!!!!ing definitely not welcomed.

Thriftlady I do know exactly how you feel, I love my mum to bits and do a great deal for my parents but boy when I have to take them shopping on a Friday I am completely exhausted by the time I get home because of the stress of it all!!

*Maya*

wannabe_sybil wrote: »

Actually, I don't remember being aggressive - I do remember having to defend my dear heart as he is a wonderful person. I am happy for anyone to read the thread as I have shared all my concerns on here anyway.

You came across as someone looking for problems that were not there. I am sorry to have disappointed you, but you can always make up for it by watching some soaps if my problems fail to entertain you sufficiently.

And I have appreciated and posted thanks on all the practical suggestions. Hmm. The support from people on here has made it possible to do what I am going to do this afternoon - take my little bear out. As I did yesterday. The suggestions were appreciated, but not all were practical for my circumstances and I certainly did not get upset at people making suggestions.

And what do you expect me to feel when you tell me that I am violating my son's human rights? Do you not think I am carrying enough of a load of guilt about how my condition affects him? And when someone has a good natured vent about their daughter and their mother, with no indication that they would not drop everything if necessary, you want to have a go.

Just for the record, the Health Visitor said that even though little bear is only going to playgroup once a week, that was nothing to do with his speech development. They had no other concerns about his welfare.

And if you continue to post upsetting posts, expect to be challenged.

I really don't know what you are talking about. Your tone towards me has been awful in these posts. What did I do to deserve that? You are clearly Queen Bee around here and not used to being challenged. I did NOT criticise your husband. Read my posts again and stop attacking me.

I apologise AGAIN if my post earlier upset anyone but you have no right to bring up the question of you being nearly driven to suicide by your Mother's beahaviour. How on earth am I supposed to deal with that? Do we not mention anything incase there is a remote chance that it upsts someone? I thought OS was more sensible than that. Can no one see the irony here? I am being told off for saying what I think and Sybil is being applauded for that. So she is allowed to say what she likes and I am not. What if you have upset me Sybil? Who is to say that my mental health is good?

Anyway. Sorry I posted and thanks for the warm OS welcome folks.