please help unsure

jennie09

krisskross wrote: »

Not lone parent hater at all. Must admit I do not think much of anyone who sets out to have children without providing a father for them but I have every sympathy with those mothers who find themselves left holding the baby after having children in what they thought were stable relationships. That could happen to any one of us females.

However I do object to anyone complaining about not getting enough free money and housing. I think it has been shown that benefits for lone parents are fairly generous.

I have a very happy life thank you, worked hard, brought up 4 children. Now retired and living the life of riley.[/quot

How can a person who has never even been a single parent even begin to know how hard it is for a lone parent, you can tell by your post that you look down your nose at single mothers and i for one know i am not the only person on this board that thinks it

jennie09

In response to bestpud, again just assuming that every single mother automaticaaly claims benefits for 16 full years who do you think you are ? i have already said in posts i have always worked and have only recently had to claim benefits,

krisskross

jennie09 wrote: »

[

How can a person who has never even been a single parent even begin to know how hard it is for a lone parent, you can tell by your post that you look down your nose at single mothers and i for one know i am not the only person on this board that thinks it

One does not have to experience something to be able to empathise.

However I will absolutely guarantee you that I have lived in worse circumstances and been far poorer than you will ever be, surrounded as you are by the Welfare State.

Oh and by the way my daughter was a lone parent for a few years.From when her husband died when their daughter was 6. She remarried 10 years later

notlongnow_2

'My housing benefit is not £250 pw!! ..mine is £87 pw!! lol ...and i have to top up the rest of the rent myself.'

I work, and I have to pay my WHOLE mortgage and support my family myself.

I dont think anyone is a single mother hater. I definately am not. I have been there and am glad to be working and pay my own bills by myself. I dont claim benefits although im sure my taxes go towards people that do.

You can breasfeed and work as the law states that a breastfeeding mother has to be given time to either feed or to express for later feeding.

LittleTinker

davenkirst wrote: »

wow they dont give much for people tp live on do they? Still i have always worked so guess anything other than a monthly salary would look like a small amount... thankyou all so much for your help

Ahhh but it isnt as simple as that is it?

Because you will almost certainly get your rent paid so add on another £100+ a week.

And then you wont have to pay Council Tax either....and dont forget free school meals....so what, another £50 a week.

We wont even bother totting up all the other benefits such as free prescriptions, concessions for daytrips and outings, grants, free school trips, music lessons etc....the list goes on.

All in all...you get a pretty good deal Id say.

bestpud

jennie09 wrote: »

In response to bestpud, again just assuming that every single mother automaticaaly claims benefits for 16 full years who do you think you are ? i have already said in posts i have always worked and have only recently had to claim benefits,

Ok, for your benefit, I will paste my actual words from the post you refer to:

"...most of us are anything but jealous!

But then, when you have single parents suggesting jealousy is at the root of advice, you have to ponder their motivations and attitude towards their situation, don't you?

How can single parenthood be defended as difficult enough to warrant 16 years of full benefits on one hand, and yet, be something we are all jealous of on another?"

I'm not sure where it says I think every single parent claims benefits for 16 years? Can you enlighten me please?

The majority of single parents argue it is a tough job and therefore, they should not be criticised, or questioned, for claiming their entitlement. In your own words:

"How can a person who has never even been a single parent even begin to know how hard it is for a lone parent".

And yet you suggest people are jealous of the financial entitlement, which suggests it is more than a pittance? Do you agree that is a logical assumption to make?

Therefore, as I said before, one has to question whether the benefits are a lifestyle choice, or a necessity?

I would argue they are a choice for many single parents and I agree the age level should be reduced. There is simply no need for an automatic entitlement, without any justification, until a child reaches 16 years of age imo. I think 7 is too low, personally, but that is a different debate.

It matters not whether you personally claim benefits; the fact remains they are an option for single parents and offer sufficient funds for them to choose whether they work or not.

Don't allow your personal opinion to cloud the issue at hand here. When looked at objectively, it is clear single parents are well looked after in this country, and that is what this thread is about.

Zara33

Damzel_In_Distress wrote: »

Well i know you are allowed to EARN up to £20 pw before if reduces your IS but i was told maintenance is diffrent...i go and see my adviser every 3 months and in the almost two years this has been going on she has never told me any diffrent...i was told earning is diffrent to maintenance from a father as the IS is paid to help me live and take care of my child,if someone then contributed towards his/my up keep this is then taken into account.

I dont take money of my sons father anyway,i will tell him to go and get anything specific our son needs with the £20 on a saturday to help towards his daily living,that way he always has the things he needs and there can be no complaints or allagations of it being spent on anything else (not that there ever has been) and this works out fine and always has.

I think you will find that Cm and IS have changed just recently as Scarlett said you are able to keep the first £20.

Damzel_In_Distress

I love it when people tell me what im allowed to do and not do..the thing is that I AM THE ONE who deals with this,and I AM THE ONE going to visit my adiviser and I AM THE ONE ringing people to notify them or changes and I AM THE ONE being told what i can and cannot do by the people who deal with this sort of this....NOBODY on here can sit there and tell me what i can and cant do money wise or what i get and dont get,your not me,you dont live in my area,or come under my local counsil. So why do you insist on thinking that you know what i can and cannot do with money etc?

Seems to me that people like the rude ones on here feel some sort of justification by trying to talk down to "scroungers" as you so nicely like to call people,like it makes you fill your superior quota for the day!!

But i really dont give a flying crap what anyone thinks,because i know that i worked everyday of my life and paid taxes up until i was 6 months pregnant....and even after i was left by my partner in my ninth month i never claimed a penny for anything up until my son was 9 months old,and i never claimed housing benefit or anything like that until he was 15 months old either!! So all these people who like to call me and others might like to keep that in mind next time they go on a benefits bashing mission to make your self feel like you are better than others...nobody is better than anyone,and no one is certainly any better that me because i have claimed benefits for a short period in my entire life!!

Damzel_In_Distress

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

So now you're saying that you don't get £20 maintenance from the child's father?

NO cant u not read??? ...i said in my orginal post that he pays that in maintenance but i dont take it in cash of him,...its still declared to the DWP cause if you look this up you will find anything has to be declared that is classed as maintenace..weather he is bought a paor of shoes,or given £20 every week is irrelevant to the DWP.

LittleTinker

Damzel_In_Distress wrote: »

NO cant u not read??? ...i said in my orginal post that he pays that in maintenance but i dont take it in cash of him,...its still declared to the DWP cause if you look this up you will find anything has to be declared that is classed as maintenace..weather he is bought a paor of shoes,or given £20 every week is irrelevant to the DWP.

Arent you a little touchy?