Re: Lodger...Wrong Choice? Help Please

ampersand

So, refund a fortnight(you are being generous), then the deposit by cheque to his girlfriend's parents' address,ONLY PROVIDED HE GOES AS AND WHEN ASKED.
Look Amy, you need to have someone there tonight while you do this.
Two copies of a receipt, both of you sign, keep one each.
Be assured, this type of person will ALWAYS find somewhere, and easily...luckily for him, he found you!
You still don't say/don't know why he stopped renting.
Don't be shy about showing him/Police/your neighbour, this Thread.
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cave sounds much nicer, but too far North?

m1ntie

I have lodgers myself and would not put up with this. He has broken your agreement and does not deserve any consideration because it is Christmas.

You have given him every chance to change his ways - now it is time to get rid.

Tell him he has got 48 hours to get his stuff out. In the meantime his girlfriend is not allowed to stay. If necessary tell her to leave, if she refuses call the police.

ampersand

Amy -
Do you have a digital camera, so you can photograph his room and your home now? as and when he leaves it? before and after you return from holiday?

I think this is a good idea for you to feel better, also essential for both of you in the event of fall-out.

Will you try and do this please?

cave_2

ampersand wrote: »

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..still no clue as to why g/f parents haven't invited him:rolleyes:

Obviously they think the darling is too much in demand socially to grace them with his presence:rotfl:

cave_2

ampersand wrote: »

cave sounds much nicer, but too far North?

Cave is paying one of the cheapest rents in the area, for a flat with a whooshy bath!

silvercar

Has he ever trashed any room other than the tip that is his bedroom?

Have you any reason to think he will trash the place in your absence?

If you tell him today to leave within the next 1-2 weeks, there is every chance he will be gone by the time you get back. The only mess will probably be that his room needs a deep clean. Chances are his room will never be cleaned to your standards.

ampersand

cave wrote: »

"i really made efforts"
"i never told him anything and took it on myself to do everything as i did not want to make him feel uncomfortable"

I know you want to be a 'good landlady', but you are not his friend, and you are not his mother.

He's made it perfectly clear what his stance is, he doesn't care that he's hurting you and he's perfectly happy to take full advantage of you whenever you give him the opportunity.

Getting rid of him I think is going to bother you much more than him - but that's another reason to do it faster. He's a lodger, not an emotional investment. I know it feels horrible doing it, but it's not going to be as horrible living with it - and it's just going to erode your self respect if nothing else - he's made it quite clear that he doesn't respect you.

C x

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So wise at 21, cave - this one needs a bump AND a rpt for Amy to be strong.

cave_2

ampersand wrote: »

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So wise at 21, cave - this one needs a bump AND a rpt for Amy to be strong.

My mother fosters...have seen her deal with all sorts of 'interesting' characters since I was small, know that some people need sat on quite quickly, and that some never learn...

C

neas

jglad i aint lodgered at your homes... my bags would be packed by you... in bin bags and left outide... locked out without a place to stay and had some idiot go through my personal things impersonally.

Great things humans .

ampersand

silvercar wrote: »

Has he ever trashed any room other than the tip that is his bedroom?
We can't know and I suspect Amy didn't take up references prior to Lodger arriving.

Have you any reason to think he will trash the place in your absence?
Hindsight will be no help with insurers or Police(worst scenario).
Amy's confidence and trust have been, still are being, abused by a smooth operator. She will have his presence in her home and her absence on her mind during this time.

If you tell him today to leave within the next 1-2 weeks, there is every chance he will be gone by the time you get back.
No guarantee.

The only mess will probably (my highlighting)be that his room needs a deep clean
Again, no guarantee.
Again, hindsight will be no help with insurers or Police(worst scenario).

Chances are his room will never be cleaned to your standards
Amy's lodged and been a lodger. Can't accept you meant this to read as it does.

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Sorry, silvercar - I think nearly all of us concur on the nature of Amy and Lodger's attitude to her.