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Re: Lodger...Wrong Choice? Help Please

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Comments

  • cave_2
    cave_2 Posts: 164 Forumite
    ampersand wrote: »

    NO!!!!!! Amy - you tell him he'll have to go this weekend at the latest and the locks are being changed. THEN ENSURE THEY ARE.


    Second that!
    Craftster.com is eating all my free time!
  • Amy78
    Amy78 Posts: 60 Forumite
    i know and i'd love too
    but it is so close to Xmas that i feel really bad to tell him to go with so short notice
    it feels right for me but not fair on him
    if you put yourself in his shoes having to move only 6 days away from xmas is not great either
    i have a nice nature except yesterday when i had enough way enough and i kind of stormed am i am not proud of it
    And if he does damaged anything i have his deposit so i dont think he would damage anything and 4 xmas if he has party which he is not allowed my neighbour can warn me straighaway
  • mlz1413
    mlz1413 Posts: 3,032 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Amy78 wrote: »
    i know and i'd love too
    but it is so close to Xmas that i feel really bad to tell him to go with so short notice
    it feels right for me but not fair on him
    if you put yourself in his shoes having to move only 6 days away from xmas is not great either
    i have a nice nature except yesterday when i had enough way enough and i kind of stormed am i am not proud of it
    And if he does damaged anything i have his deposit so i dont think he would damage anything and 4 xmas if he has party which he is not allowed my neighbour can warn me straighaway

    And he if felt the same way about Xmas as you do he would have listened to the warnings, been good and looked for somewhere else to go.

    He hasn't. His problem not yours.
  • poppysarah
    poppysarah Posts: 11,522 Forumite
    Amy78 wrote: »
    And if he does damaged anything i have his deposit so i dont think he would damage anything and 4 xmas if he has party which he is not allowed my neighbour can warn me straighaway

    Your choice. But how much is his deposit? And how quick can you get back from wherever to stop a party trashing your house.
  • cave_2
    cave_2 Posts: 164 Forumite
    You don't want to have to worry about this over Christmas...

    And he can always stay with his girlfriend if he has nowhere else :rotfl:
    Craftster.com is eating all my free time!
  • Amy78
    Amy78 Posts: 60 Forumite
    one month rent as deposit
    yeah but i have not told him to leave yet so i could just tell him the week i am back from holidays
    he probably thinks all is ok as he said shaked my hand yesterday saying still mates :)
    she took it badly and left she always listen to the conversation and she was not in the same room than us when we talked
    as she is always there i really cant have a discussion with him alone
    i really dont know what to do
    i will check with my neighbourg tonight she proposed me to tell him to go and stay in her flat until he has left so no sour discussion
  • ampersand
    ampersand Posts: 9,676 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    AMY - DEAR SWEET LASS THAT YOU EVIDENTLY ARE -
    re this:
    'if you put yourself in his shoes '
    So be it:
    'Yay, she's off for 10 days'.
    ##########
    You are still showing for someone unworthy the very consideration he fails to show you.
    AND, he does not obey house rules.

    I think the g/f's parents are v. wise here.
    Again, re:
    'if you put yourself in his shoes '

    'Okay, so what's the worst she can do? Keep my deposit? I'll show her........' from 24/12 onwards.

    Some of us spoke of asking a neighbour or A.N.Other to housewatch, but not to this extent of putting the onus on them.
    They have their own lives, too.
    What if neighbour wishes to go out?
    What if lodger waits till they do so?
    If they 'phone you, how distant are you?
    How capable will you be of maybe righting a situation you have so far not faced and are still reluctant to deal with?

    This is not meant to sound as hard as it does, Amy. OP's on other Threads know this of me, but your quandary and reluctance to address it, despite the sensible options given over 6 pages by so many is soul-destroying for us AND you!
    #############
    Again apologies for crossing posts with you, poppysarah.
    CAP[UK]for FREE EXPERT DEBT &BUDGET HELP:
    01274 760721, freephone0800 328 0006
    'People don't want much. They want: "Someone to love, somewhere to live, somewhere to work and something to hope for."
    Norman Kirk, NZLP- Prime Minister, 1972
    ***JE SUIS CHARLIE***
    'It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere' François-Marie AROUET


  • ampersand
    ampersand Posts: 9,676 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    cave wrote: »
    You don't want to have to worry about this over Christmas...

    And he can always stay with his girlfriend if he has nowhere else :rotfl:
    ##############
    ..still no clue as to why g/f parents haven't invited him:rolleyes:
    CAP[UK]for FREE EXPERT DEBT &BUDGET HELP:
    01274 760721, freephone0800 328 0006
    'People don't want much. They want: "Someone to love, somewhere to live, somewhere to work and something to hope for."
    Norman Kirk, NZLP- Prime Minister, 1972
    ***JE SUIS CHARLIE***
    'It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere' François-Marie AROUET


  • Amy78
    Amy78 Posts: 60 Forumite
    neah don't know why he cant stay at her place and did not ask as not my business
    you are right i won't be able to do much from abroad
    but what if i ask him to leave before i go and he does not want to by saying i wont find anything or what if he does not find anything so how do i deal with that? he paid rent until end of this month so legally entitled to stay until 31/12 no?
  • mlz1413
    mlz1413 Posts: 3,032 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Amy do you have anyone who can come and stand by your side whilst you tell the lodger to move out?

    You need someone by your side to back you up and if necessary take over when lodger tries to pull at your heart strings.

    Personally I would tell him to go before you go on holiday, if he leaves without hassle give him the deposit back the next day. If he leaves a mess and puts up a fight then leave the deposit until you get back.

    If you don't have anyone to help you then I would give him a months notice and deal with everything when you get back - but then you must ensure you give notice and stick by it, no delaying.

    Good Luck
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