Re: Lodger...Wrong Choice? Help Please

poppysarah

Best of luck Amy.

cave_2

Amy78 wrote: »

by the tone of my lodger voice he could feel he was going to get violent with me.
he tried to overpower me when i was trying to get back in the flat by putting his hand on the door so i could not open it

Amy, please get rid of him now
.
That is utterly unacceptable, and doubly so in your own home. As far as I'm concerned, he gave up any rights to be given notice the moment you felt threatened by him. He's obviously a 'user', but it also sounds like he's a bully. Talk to your neighbour about what happened, I think he'll agree with me that you need to get this guy out as soon as possible. I would definitely do it with your neighbour there, as if he is a bully, he is likely to try to be threatening once he knows that you're serious about him moving on.

Be strong, we're all behind you x

C

neas

if you arent confident with him then just bring a guy with you. he wont kick off or anything. But again dont flare up the situation, just have the male in another room or 'making a cuppa' when you tell him etc... otherwise its obvious.

Ah well.. guess lodging aint an easy way to make a buck or two lol.

silvercar

Amy_ wrote:

he tried to overpower me when i was trying to get back in the flat by putting his hand on the door so i could not open it that is all which shocked me

Before reading this, I though he was a lodger with different standards to your own. And that he should be given a reasonable time to find alternative accommodation.

Amy_ wrote:

he tried to overpower me when i was trying to get back in the flat by putting his hand on the door so i could not open it that is all which shocked me

Now I've read that sentence I've changed my opinion. He has crossed a line and needs to live ASAP.

Amy, tell him you want him out, tell him your neighbour has seen his behaviour. Do it soon.

Just shows how unsafe having a lodger can be.

neas

Agree, if he used violence or physical force then.. he is an a$$... other reasons for getting rid of him baring waking you werent that bad..

But that one tops it all, its your house... and you have a right to feel safe there... just tell him he is outta there, with another male friend there. Usually people like this threaten people... but dont have the 'power/experience' to go through with it.

I often find people who are strong or violent... don't threat they just do it... people who threat do it, but are cowards.

Chuck his coward a$$ out asap, and change locks after he has removed his stuff.

Chopsie&Chelvis

I've read this from the start but not commented until now ... How much are his feelings worth to you? Worth your safety and your home? I don't think so. There's a great book called 'the gift of fear' and the gist of it is - if you feel scared and uncomfortable, then you're feeling it for a reason so pay attention and get yourself out of the situation. Please, get him out tonight and change the locks. This is him at the start, on his 'best behaviour' - it can only get worse.

Amy78

i will tell him to leave but i will give him 15 days notice
my neighbour will be there when i will tell him
then i am away and muy neighbour will check the flat twice a day and get the keys so when i am back i don't see him
it is great when you have good neighbour and know them well

neas

i'd give him 1 week notice if he was violent, if he reacted worse i'd say he had 3 days left.

neas

he only deserves what i previously said if he treats you with respect and any form of violence or nastiness makes him not worthy of anything.

Do unto others and all that... if he treats you bad treat him bad back imo.

Amy78

he has not raise the hand on me yet
but my neighbour heard when we had the argument and said he was agressive
so just in case my neighbour will be there
thank you all for helping
i did not want to be a bad landlady and now i know i have to ask him to leave and i will but with notice
but when i will be back he wont be here so all should be fine

thanks:T