MSE Pregnancy Club IV

astonsmummy

cheeky_lil_monkey wrote: »

Hi....I'm not pregnant yet (hope no one minds me dropping in), but we're thinking of starting to get pregnant soon!!!! We've been married 2.5yrs and have always wanted kids.
The only thing that would put a stop on things (well, that we have any control over anyway) would be that we only live in a 3yrd old 2bed flat. We did try to move, but there's been loads of 2bed newbuilds for sale for this past yr around us, so selling didn't go well. We've decided to stay put for a bit - anyone of you wise women (I've been lurking for a while, lol) feel we should hold off until we get a house? Ideally, I'd prefer to - but with the current situation, know it could take a number of years....and I ain't happy with that!!

My main question (yes, aside from the one above) is whether there's anything you wished you'd done before you had kids as I know once they arrive the whole world gets turned upside down and for the next 18-21yrs you life is not your own

I *really* want to be a SAHM and we're hoping hubby will be able to support us. We are lucky to have no debt besides our mortgage and we're 27&28. We feel ready. Just looking some advice - words of warning or wisdom - from you guys, who have miles more experience than me!!

Caz - I'm sorry to hear things are rough, I've never been in your position and can't imagine how you are feeling - never mind with all those pregnancy hormones. I really hope everything works out for ya.

Plenty of people get on fine in flats, I wouldnt put off having a baby based soley on that but thats just my personal opinion.
I wish I had sorted my life out a bit BEFORE having my son, but other than that I'm glad I had him at 19.

astonsmummy

skintchick wrote: »

Sorry to be thick - what's a crib?

Have a looksie HERE these are cribs hun.
Oh and you aint thick!

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/buyingforbaby/cotscribsbedding/mosesbasketcribcarrycot/#4

Cribs are usually made of wood and can be bought flat-packed. They provide a smaller sleeping environment for a young baby and have the additional feature of a rocking or gliding action, which may help your baby settle to sleep.

Pros

• Rocking/gliding action may help your baby to sleep in the first few weeks
• Usually lasts longer than a Moses basket: up to four to six months

Cons

• Not portable like a Moses basket or carrycot

• More expensive than a Moses basket or carrycot

• Not all babies like the rocking motion

• You may need to buy a mattress separately

Sami_Bee

chalky_bertie wrote: »

Yes but he died a few years ago but I don't want to take him off and replace him with Guinness our newish dog.

Now then, I asked a question about a pram and people said that you can't keep a baby under 6 weeks in a car seat (one that bends the babies back) so do we need a lie flat pram for a few weeks. That seems a bit of spending just to keep them in for a few weeks / months and then buy another one for after that time limit.

Also can anyone recommend a book for me and the wife as we have got no idea of what to do when they are born and what different stages they go through. (eg. how many nappies do they use in a day?)

Well he was a very handsome bunny!
the rules for carseat is that they shouldn't be in them for any longer than (I think, if my memory is correct) 2hrs at a time then they need about 20mins to stretch out a bit, I have the silvercross 3d pram system which can be lie flat pram, travel system using car seat or forward facing buggy which is a good compromise.
most people I know including me only used the pram for about 6-9mths then it gets too heavy and switch to a buggy. HTH and makes sense!

I like miriam stoppard's books, the one I have is called something like first time parents which does what it says on the tin (ps newborns go through about 8-10 nappies in 24hrs)

skintchick

astonsmummy wrote: »

Have a looksie HERE these are cribs hun.
Oh and you aint thick!

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/buyingforbaby/cotscribsbedding/mosesbasketcribcarrycot/#4

Cribs are usually made of wood and can be bought flat-packed. They provide a smaller sleeping environment for a young baby and have the additional feature of a rocking or gliding action, which may help your baby settle to sleep.

Pros

• Rocking/gliding action may help your baby to sleep in the first few weeks
• Usually lasts longer than a Moses basket: up to four to six months

Cons

• Not portable like a Moses basket or carrycot

• More expensive than a Moses basket or carrycot

• Not all babies like the rocking motion

• You may need to buy a mattress separately

Thanks!
I guess you can;t get ones with sides that drop down for co-sleeping then, if they rock? Oh there's so much to think about!

astonsmummy

skintchick wrote: »

Thanks!
I guess you can;t get ones with sides that drop down for co-sleeping then, if they rock? Oh there's so much to think about!

I'm not sure, never really seen a real crib in situ tbh

redmel1621

cheeky_lil_monkey wrote: »

Hi....I'm not pregnant yet (hope no one minds me dropping in), but we're thinking of starting to get pregnant soon!!!! We've been married 2.5yrs and have always wanted kids.
The only thing that would put a stop on things (well, that we have any control over anyway) would be that we only live in a 3yrd old 2bed flat. We did try to move, but there's been loads of 2bed newbuilds for sale for this past yr around us, so selling didn't go well. We've decided to stay put for a bit - anyone of you wise women (I've been lurking for a while, lol) feel we should hold off until we get a house? Ideally, I'd prefer to - but with the current situation, know it could take a number of years....and I ain't happy with that!!

My main question (yes, aside from the one above) is whether there's anything you wished you'd done before you had kids as I know once they arrive the whole world gets turned upside down and for the next 18-21yrs you life is not your own

I *really* want to be a SAHM and we're hoping hubby will be able to support us. We are lucky to have no debt besides our mortgage and we're 27&28. We feel ready. Just looking some advice - words of warning or wisdom - from you guys, who have miles more experience than me!!

Caz - I'm sorry to hear things are rough, I've never been in your position and can't imagine how you are feeling - never mind with all those pregnancy hormones. I really hope everything works out for ya.

To be honest I think you are in an ideal situation. You are both lovely ages, you have no debt and you have a secure place to live. It does not matter one little bit that it is a flat, I know loads of people in flats who have kiddies and are perfectly happy. The other major point that makes me think there is no reason to hang about is that you have been married a couple of years now and 'both' want a baby.

A lady from ds2's nursery was living in a 2bed flat with 4 kids and was pregnant with her 5th!!!! She managed just fine, although they were hoping to move after baby 5 arrived.

Oh and I don't think there's much you can't do once you have kids that you could do before, it just takes a bit more organising. Both DH and I are at University(change of careers), We have the odd holiday (money permitting) and we still have a great sex life!!!!!!(apart from now, because I am getting too uncomfortable)

Good luck with whatever you decide:)

Mel x

cheeky_lil_monkey

Cheers guys, thanks for that - any more welcome too tho
The 2nd bedroom is a good size - like easily a good sized double, so we're lucky about that I guess. I think my main worry is that we'd had to cart a pram up n down 2 flights of stairs! The thought terrifies me should I have to have a c-section for some reason (not pessimist, just covering all eventualities!!). The room would look gorgeous as a nursery, hehe.

I think I'm worried most about not being able to move. We're in the South West and house prices are REALLY high, worried about mortgage ppl saying we can't afford a bigger place (they said we couldn't afford this, yet we're paying more into savings each month than we pay in mortgage and that's after all the bills, lol).

Am I just being silly???

cheeky_lil_monkey

Crikey Mel..that's nuts!
Although 'back in the good old days' as my gran used to say...there used to be families of 13, all sharing the 1 double bed...Maybe we've just gotten a bit too fussy

ladybirdintheuk

cheeky_lil_monkey wrote: »

Hi....I'm not pregnant yet (hope no one minds me dropping in), but we're thinking of starting to get pregnant soon!!!! We've been married 2.5yrs and have always wanted kids.
The only thing that would put a stop on things (well, that we have any control over anyway) would be that we only live in a 3yrd old 2bed flat. We did try to move, but there's been loads of 2bed newbuilds for sale for this past yr around us, so selling didn't go well. We've decided to stay put for a bit - anyone of you wise women (I've been lurking for a while, lol) feel we should hold off until we get a house? Ideally, I'd prefer to - but with the current situation, know it could take a number of years....and I ain't happy with that!!

My main question (yes, aside from the one above) is whether there's anything you wished you'd done before you had kids as I know once they arrive the whole world gets turned upside down and for the next 18-21yrs you life is not your own

I *really* want to be a SAHM and we're hoping hubby will be able to support us. We are lucky to have no debt besides our mortgage and we're 27&28. We feel ready. Just looking some advice - words of warning or wisdom - from you guys, who have miles more experience than me!!

Caz - I'm sorry to hear things are rough, I've never been in your position and can't imagine how you are feeling - never mind with all those pregnancy hormones. I really hope everything works out for ya.

aargh - I just typed a massive response to this, and my browser crashed before I could post it!

Firstly - you will be fine in a 2 bed flat. That's what we are in, and there are people in our block who have 2 or 3 kids in the same space as us, and seem to manage fine. Ok, you have no garden, but that just means you have to go to the park more often, which is good for all of you!

The one thing which you may want to think about is that if you are intending to have more than 1 baby, will you be able to afford to move without you going back to work? This is something we have had debates about here, as I only want to go back to work part time, but it's unlikely we would be able to get enough of a mortgage to move anywhere bigger without me going back full time for a bit. (It wouldn't have to be permanently, but for long enough to persuade someone to let us have a mortgage and then for it to all be completed and for us to be moved, so I'm guessing 18 moths or so?) Of course if I discovered I was pregnant again we would just have to manage, which would be fine when they were small, but you have no guarantee number 2 will be the same flavour, which is more problematic as they get older!

As for things I wish I had done first - well, baby isn't here yet, so ask me again in a few months In practical terms, I wish we had paid off more debts, and got a bit more practical sorting-out done while we were ttc. We have had to be quite strict with ourselves, as we are both quite squirrel like in collecting things that might be useful, but we don't have space for that any more. And we could have done with starting a bit earlier with this process!

ladybirdintheuk

chalky_bertie wrote: »

Also can anyone recommend a book for me and the wife as we have got no idea of what to do when they are born and what different stages they go through. (eg. how many nappies do they use in a day?)

We didn't buy any books, but when you get booked in with your midwife you will be given a NHS "pregnancy and birth" book, and you will get a "birth to 5" book when baby is nearly here too. I've read them through cover to cover, and keep waving it under DH's nose to try and get him to read too - it's great that you're being so pro-active!

Also, you might want to look into going to some kind of "parentcraft" classes, rather than just birth classes - they will cover what to do when baby is here too - stuff like how to hold the baby, and how to bath him and things like that. The one we went to she even had some fake nappies made up so you know what is normal! Gross, but really useful This wouldn't be till nearer the time - I think they normally recommend you do them around 30 weeks or so.