Pros and Cons of having a second child?

Pigeongirl

I'm happily married with one son, who will be four in March. I'm considering having another child but I'm really nor sure if it's the right thing to do (for various reasons). I would love to hear your opinions on having more than one child. What do you think are the pros and cons of not stopping at one child?

Thanks!

*Louise*

Pros: More people to love and be loved by. They can play together, learn to share, and in the future...what if you only had one child and they decided they didn't want or couldn't have kids = no grandchildren. 2 lessens that risk lol :rotfl:


Cons: They fight, you're more tired, shopping costs increase, might need a bigger hom if the sexes differ, double the worry as they grow up.


Ps - I have 3, and I wouldn't swop them.;)

galvanizersbaby

Pigeongirl wrote: »

I'm happily married with one son, who will be four in March. I'm considering having another child but I'm really nor sure if it's the right thing to do (for various reasons). I would love to hear your opinions on having more than one child. What do you think are the pros and cons of not stopping at one child?

Thanks!

Hi Pigeongirl

Without knowing your reason's for being unsure about having another child I would say for me the only pro was that I wanted DS to have a sibling - 'the old only child is a lonely child' saying (though I'm sure that's not true in many cases).
I can't think of any con's with having 2 children other than the obvious extra cost involved but to me that's irrelevant.

Sorry not much help!

Glen0000

We have an only child. The pros are very obvious now they are getting older. Having children is an expensive business. There is no way we could afford for my wife to only work part time if we had more than one. House is smaller which means rent/mortgage cheaper. Also only one birthday party, one set of school uniform, one set of Christmas gifts. My wife especially benefits form the added freedom one child brings. She has much more of a social life than most of her friends. Also we get a lot more alone time as a couple. A sleepover at grandmas/friends/school trip means a welcome break.

Sadly two of my wife’s friends put the added pressure of more children down to the breakdown of their marriages. Two IS much harder than one and three, well it is a whole new ballgame.

We don’t regret our decision and I hope my DD only has one when she decides to have kids.

If you want another, have one. But do it for yourself. I certainly wish I had been an only, as does my wife.

Glen0000

galvanizersbaby wrote: »

Hi Pigeongirl

Without knowing your reason's for being unsure about having another child I would say for me the only pro was that I wanted DS to have a sibling - 'the old only child is a lonely child' saying (though I'm sure that's not true in many cases).

That is SO not true. Many of DD's friends end up here to get away from bullying siblings. Our house is always full of kids as most mums with more than one can't be bothered. The feral gangs of kids are often from homes of 4, 5 , 6 kids. I bet you won't see only children roaming the streets.

Being a parent of one makes me a better parent. Many people won't admit this as once you have added to the brood it is too late.

galvanizersbaby

Glen0000 wrote: »

We don’t regret our decision and I hope my DD only has one when she decides to have kids.

If you want another, have one. But do it for yourself. I certainly wish I had been an only, as does my wife.

Gosh that's really sad Glen0000
I couldn't imagine being without my sisters (we are all very different people) but they are my best friends and I can rely on them always

Glen0000

galvanizersbaby wrote: »

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Gosh that's really sad Glen0000
I couldn't imagine being without my sisters (we are all very different people) but they are my best friends and I can rely on them always

It is not sad, I have lots of love in my life! As the saying goes, you can choose your friends, but not your family. My siblings are nice, normal people, we just don't gel, never have. You can't force it.

galvanizersbaby

Glen0000 wrote: »

That is SO not true. Many of DD's friends end up here to get away from bullying siblings. Our house is always full of kids as most mums with more than one can't be bothered. The feral gangs of kids are often from homes of 4, 5 , 6 kids. I bet you won't see only children roaming the streets.

Being a parent of one makes me a better parent. Many people won't admit this as once you have added to the brood it is too late.

I did say that this wasn't true in many cases - it's a saying.

I'm not sure I agree that being a parent to one makes you a superior parent either - I know a few examples where this isn't really the case.

Good that you feel your DD has a better parent though I guess

galvanizersbaby

Glen0000 wrote: »

That is SO not true. Many of DD's friends end up here to get away from bullying siblings. Our house is always full of kids as most mums with more than one can't be bothered. The feral gangs of kids are often from homes of 4, 5 , 6 kids. I bet you won't see only children roaming the streets.

Being a parent of one makes me a better parent. Many people won't admit this as once you have added to the brood it is too late.

That's a bit of an outrageous generalisation tbh!
Luckily I don't see any gangs (feral or otherwise) of children roaming where we live but I do know of a boy in my nephews's class at school who has been in trouble with the police on numerous occasions - he doesn't have any siblings but parent's that don't seem to care much about him and just let him do his own thing so can see where your coming from on this

Becles

Glen0000 wrote: »

Being a parent of one makes me a better parent. Many people won't admit this as once you have added to the brood it is too late.

That's quite rude and patronising. I do hope you taught your child to have better manners and to respect other people who are different to you.

I've got three children and I would have more. As long as you have the time, love and patience to nurture each one, then go for it.

galvanizersbaby

Becles wrote: »

That's quite rude and patronising. I do hope you taught your child to have better manners and to respect other people who are different to you.

I've got three children and I would have more. As long as you have the time, love and patience to nurture each one, then go for it.

That's what I wanted to say Becles only you've worded it far better than I!