Pros and Cons of having a second child?

blackcoffee

I thought i had read a post on mumsnet to start when i stumbled across this one !!


I am a very happy, stay at home 'non benefit claiming' mum to 3 children and one dog, married to a wonderful man who works dam hard to provide for us all. We would of liked a 4th but we couldnt financially justify any more children, to avoid any mishaps we used medical intervention ...available to all for free on the nhs !

Glen0000

Alikay wrote: »

We have quite a few friends with 3 or 4 children and none are on benefits - I'm puzzled that you find it a "nice change"

Possibly the area I live. Quite working class. Most people I know with 3 kids + are on a low wage (under £18k) and claim tax credits on top or simply not working at all.

Alikay

Glen0000 wrote: »

Possibly the area I live. Quite working class. Most people I know with 3 kids + are on a low wage (under £18k) and claim tax credits on top or simply not working at all.

T'ain't posh where I live either. Working class areas are the places we've traditionally grown our nurses, teachers, firemen, police, plumbers, sparkies etc......tax credits to top-up a family's low earnings are an investment in all of our futures.

I don't agree with life-long scrounging from anyone either, regardless of how many kids they spawn, but surely that's a different issue?

Triggles

How dare you be so self righteous when my taxes are paying for your children. Maybe if you had to work as hard as I do to provide for my family AND families like yours you would understand where I am coming from.

For your information, plenty of people work just as hard as you claim to, regardless of their family size. And when those children from large families grow up, the taxes they will be paying when they move into the working world will be supporting our economy as well. That's life. I would suggest that you learn to deal with all the obvious anger and prejudice you feel towards others that choose to live differently than you.

You've stated you're happy with one child. So fine. Be happy. Then try being silent. The OP only asked for pros and cons, not a vicious attack on those who have more than one child. She did not ask for a moral judgement either. So try not to hurt yourself whilst you step down from your high horse please.

I truly feel sorry for the OP, as instead of getting helpful answers, she's just getting an ongoing argument.

Personally, we've had 3 children, and are currently expecting #4. Obviously, house size, money, childcare, work schedules and such all come into play when you have more than one child. But keep in mind that it really only need be as expensive as you let it to some degree. You don't need a huge house - children can share bedrooms (obviously depending on age/gender), and childcare depends on whether or not both parents are working fulltime and school hours. DH works fulltime plus some extra hours so that I can stay home. While it does make money a bit tight, being home allows me the time to meal plan, shop carefully, go over the budget regularly, make more food from scratch (saving money), and plan things so that they are less expensive in general. But that's our choice. I think, as a parent, if you are willing to make some adjustments or sacrifices if needed, that having more than one child is completely doable. But it obviously has to be up to the parents, not anyone else.

alwaysskint96

two-for-one wrote: »

I find an only child tends to have a "me, me, me" attitude. Tend to be more selfish and self-centered. Can't blame them as they generally tend to be the sole focus of their parents lives and don't have to share their parents attention with anyone. This is what I have observed from families where there is only one child.


.

My partner is EXACTLY like that- however he has a sister 5 years younger so cant be blamed on being an only child- more likely to be due to the fact that his Mum thinks the sun shines out of his backside

Glen0000

Alikay wrote: »

T'ain't posh where I live either. Working class areas are the places we've traditionally grown our nurses, teachers, firemen, police, plumbers, sparkies etc......tax credits to top-up a family's low earnings are an investment in all of our futures.

I beg to differ. Teachers, police, firemen all middle class professions. My mate is a plumber and earns £70k so again more of a middle class profession thesedays. I doubt very much these people would earn so little to be able to claim tax credits (maybe the nurse).

Emmenelle

Glen000 - isn't it time you crawled back under your bridge...?

Glen0000

Emmenelle wrote: »

Glen000 - isn't it time you crawled back under your bridge...?

Why is it only benefit claimants that get the hump? You should be greatful I am working hard to pay your rent.....

Emmenelle

Your right Glen000, I am a benefit claimaint. Until February I was probably earning more than you do now, but I was made redundant at 8 months pregnant and have lived off my 'pay off' until last month. I had a quote of £260 pw from my previous childminder to look after both children, so do you know what? I've decided to stay at home until they are of school age and claim < shock horror > tax credits.

I will then go back to work full time and carry on paying my taxes for the next 30 years. Is this alright with you?

Glen0000

Emmenelle wrote: »

Your right Glen000, I am a benefit claimaint. Until February I was probably earning more than you do now, but I was made redundant at 8 months pregnant and have lived off my 'pay off' until last month. I had a quote of £260 pw from my previous childminder to look after both children, so do you know what? I've decided to stay at home until they are of school age and claim < shock horror > tax credits.

I will then go back to work full time and carry on paying my taxes for the next 30 years. Is this alright with you?

Firstly you took voluntary redundancy. Secondly if you can’t afford £260pw childcare, whose fault is that? Neither could my wife on her wage, that’s why we only have one child. Wish I had the luxury of giving up my job voluntarily while some else picked up the tab. If there was no such thing as tax credits, would you be still working?