Pros and Cons of having a second child?

searching_me

Glen0000 i find you come across this subject very harsh i understand you are giving your opinon like everyone else but the cuck coo land comment is very belittling ...
yes having one child is by of course cheaper and easier to orangise round one child i have one child myself so i know this myself and i do agree every child should be treated the same but as you said you prefer having one child but the op poster wanted the pros and cons which you gave but to make judgements that people who have a few childern are a reason to gun crime etc ...
its not how many childern you have its how you treat them and if you love them you find the money and a way thats part and parcel of being a parent ...
i supect the op has already made they're deision they just wanted to double check as a second child isnt something to take lightly believe me i know i am pg with my second ... yes it takes money but its takes alot more to raise more then one child ... mind you it takes alot to raise a child but if you have these things go for it x

Glen0000

searching_me wrote: »

Glen0000 i find you come across this subject very harsh i understand you are giving your opinon like everyone else but the cuck coo land comment is very belittling ...

So are the comments about not needing money to raise kids. As if needeing to pay rent and buy food makes me some kind of idiot. Honestly if I did not have money worries I would have NO worries. I would love to know how people manage to eat, put a roof over their head without it.

searching_me

you work your !!!! off and you make sure you pay those bills i dont have much money but my dd is feed and clothed and theres a roof over our heads just because you have more then one child doesnt mean to say you cant do this x

JoolzS

I'm an only child and have never wished I had siblings. I've always had friends, but I don't feel a great need to be around other people as I can happily spend days on my own. My DH is one of five and isn't remotely close to any of his siblings.

My nan (mum's mum) was an only child, my mum was one of two girls and her sister has no children and I'm an only with no children so I am going to be bringing one branch of my family tree to an end, which I find rather cool.

Julie

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Glen0000 wrote: »

Tell that to someone living on the streets or to a woman who has £10 to feed her kids for the month.

So you're championing the cause of The Poor now, are you? Good grief, how many hats do you want to wear? I thought that you thought they were all gun-toting, machete-carrying benefit-claiming baby-machines?

Lack of money does not have to equal misery.

What is wrong with being naive and happy? Nothing.

frugallass

I am an only child and so is my daughter.

I wan't 'spoilt' - my parents had very little spare cash

I always wanted a brother or sister cos the games I got at Christmas were for between 2-4 players:rotfl:but as I grew older I appreciated my bedroom to myself, the long cuddles with my mum and the independence and confidence I gained in adult company. I loved having time to myself, I always found peace and quiet when I wanted it.

My daughter thrived as an only child, she made friends easily, she looked after her belongings and very rarely had tantrums. Her speech was fantastic at 2 years old and her social skills were brilliant.

She has very rarely stated a desire to have a sibling.

I'm not saying that you don't get any of this when there is more than one child but I these are observations I have made from my own positive experiences of being an only child.

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searching_me wrote: »

Glen0000 i find you come across this subject very harsh i understand you are giving your opinion like everyone else...

But when the opinion is based on this sort of history...

Glen0000 wrote: »

Honestly? It was an accident. I was too young and stupid to know any better as was my wife. The good thing is we stopped at one and now we are finally getting our life back. I look forward to being the parent of an adult.

I wish parents could be more honest about how hard it actually is.

My advice. Don't have kids, unless you are VERY maternal. It is the same advice I will give to my DD.

...it pretty much negates everything Glen0000 has to say on the subject, for me.

frugallass

two-for-one wrote: »

I find an only child tends to have a "me, me, me" attitude. Tend to be more selfish and self-centered. Can't blame them as they generally tend to be the sole focus of their parents lives and don't have to share their parents attention with anyone. This is what I have observed from families where there is only one child.

When my daughter was an only child my husband and I found everything tended to revolve around her, even though we tried to check ourselves, it is still very hard. Where as now with have another addition to the family, DD is learning to share and think about someone else other than herself. I find more than one child tends to be a much more healthy balance.

damn, I thanked you instead of quoting you - please ignore the 'thank you' from me

I think your statement is quite harsh - considering it's only an "observation"

I didn't need to introduce a sibling to teach my daughter to share or to think about someone other than herself. That's down to the parenting rather than the child's position in the family surely?

searching_me

all i have to say is glen0000 i feel very sorry for your child i dont ever regret ever having my ddand i was 17 so unless you were that age you have no idea what too young to have a child is your child does not even sound wanted so you cant really give advice on childern if you never wanted them in the first place x

Money_maker

I have 3 children. Two boys coming up to teenagers and a baby. The boys have been brilliant. Ok, so they bicker and fall out. However, they are into the same things (only 15 months between them), share hobbies, sports and even friends. We had them when money was very tight. It took us 8 years to get our finances back on track, but they never went without. As a result, they are great kids, understand the value of money, treasure their possessions and aren't 'I want' sort of children.
My dd is going to be my last. She will get more of my time as the only young one. I do worry she may be lonely but she has older brothers and her parents. Finances are much better so I must ensure she is not spoilt.

I have no contact with my sister - 4 year age gap and no common interests. I could have done without her.
We did have a dog who was better company...

I would recommend another child but suggest both of you sit down and discuss it to resolve any issues outstanding.
Good luck - you will make the right decision for you.