Pros and Cons of having a second child?

sealady

Definitely more pros to two than one! I am an only child and was very lonely. My parents doted on me but there are certain times when growing up it would have been lovely to have a brother or sister around to share life in general. I grew up with 3 brilliant cousins, we all went to the same school together spent many holidays together live a couple of roads away they were like brothers and sisters but as we have all moved away and gone our different routes in life I am still an only child. When my father passed away very suddenly when I was 15 I wished I had a sibling to talk to about things same also applies to recently when my mom had a stroke and was diagnosed with cancer it would have been lovely to be able to chat about my mom’s future together and help her make decisions.

I have two children of my own and would never have it any other way! There is a four year age gap with them, yes they fight, wind each other up and but at the end of each evening when they say goodnight to us and to each other and say how much they love each other it makes it all worthwhile. I know that god forbid anything happen to DH or myself at least the kids would have each other.

tiamai_d

After I had DS1 I always planned on having another. DS2 was a little unexpected but really the age difference for us was perfect. DS1 was at playgroup 2 and a half hours a day which gave me time to do some housework (DS2 slept at this time). Then DS2 was diagnosed with brain damage (turned out to be hemiplegia). It was difficult balancing all DS2's extra needs and spend time with DS1 but it's worth it. They play together really well when they are not fighting :rotfl:

The hardest thing was the pregnancy with DS2, I was so ill I couldn't look after DS1 and had to rely on family when DH was working. Then I spent a lot of time in hopsital and DS1 did act a bit strange because Dad was in 'Daddy and DS1's house' and Mummy was in 'the Doctors house'.

The easiest thing is that with the second you are less cautious and more sensible. You don't go wasting money on stupid gadgets and worrying about what the HV will say because you washed the baby clothes with the towels!

morganb

My two lay awake at night, talking to each other across the corridor.
And they can't wait to see each other in the morning; at the weekends they snuggle up together to read books.
That says it all really.

Janepig

It's just a gamble really isn't it. I have never particularly got on with my brother (he's nearly five years older than me), we're chalk and cheese, but friends of mine have brothers who they're really close to. Even my dad says that the age gap between me and my brother was too much for us to be close, but we're just very different people. Having said that, DH's brother is only two years younger than him and again they're not particularly close and are totally different personalities.

I know quite afew only children, in the family and also friends, and they do tend to be a "type". However, having two children myself (age 5 and (nearly) 3), I do wonder sometimes why I didn't just stop at one! There's no right or wrong really is there - like I say it's just a gamble how you end up managing it, and also whether they end up getting along or not.

Jxx

got-it-spend-it

I'm a second child so am particularly glad my Mum had a second :rotfl: .

Actually I also had a step brother of my age when I was growing up, and my Dad has two more sons who are 8 and 11 years younger than me and each and every one of my siblings has enriched my life.

As a kid my older brother and I got up to all sorts of mischief, as teenagers we weren't much better. As an 10-13 year old I adored looking after my baby brothers and it's still fun to see how different the things they are into now are to the things my older brother and I were into at their age.

My Nana is an only child and always says how much she wished she had a brother or sister. Personally I definitely want at least two children, although I realise in a lot of ways it's harder, not least being pregnant and chasing around after a little'un, as others have said.

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Glen0000 wrote: »

You forgot money.

Are you aware how ridiculous you're sounding on this thread?

You've moved variously from wishing your own family weren't born, to jumping on the "gun and knife crime" bandwagon, to trying to turn it into some sort of half-arsed political discussion. Are you a personified version of The Daily Mail?

Never mind the last ten years, people having been having children forever.

Sorry that your life has turned out so bad that you feel the way you do about things, but coming from a family of five, with two sisters who have three daughters each, and with two daughters of my own (and another baby due in March), I can safely say 'the more the merrier'. My partner also has four brothers and a sister, none of us have a criminal record, and, thankfully, none of us would spout the nonsense that you have here.

Maybe the reason the previous poster didn't mention money is because, when it comes to having children, the other things they mention have to come first.

Glen0000

Quote wrote: »

Maybe the reason the previous poster didn't mention money is because, when it comes to having children, the other things they mention have to come first.

What??? Love and caring comes before food in their belly?

Have you ever head of Maslows hierarchy of needs? I suggest you look it up.....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs.svg

Money HAS to come first. Without that you cannot provide basic needs for a child let alone anything else.

My goodness. It must be great to live in cloud cuckoo land!

Glen0000

flea72 wrote: »

however, i do find the point that having more than one child would mean that the wife could only work p/t a bit of odd statement, as i assume that means, by having one child you can work f/t and therefore see less of your 'golden child', than if you have two kids, and got to spend more time at home, actually seeing your kids?

Please read my post. I said if we had more than one my wife would not be able to work only part time as we couldn't afford for her to work only part time.

I find the golden child statement offensive. Every child you have should be your "golden child" and your 100% priority. No wonder so many people feel inaequate if they cant or won't breed like rabbits with outdated attitudes like that.

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Glen0000 wrote: »

My goodness. It must be great to live in cloud cuckoo land!

Hahaha...as opposed to basing your principles on a fifty year old "theory"?

Read on...

"While Maslow's theory was regarded as an improvement over previous theories of personality and motivation, it had its detractors. For example, in their extensive review of research which is dependent on Maslow's theory, Wahba and Bridgewell found little evidence for the ranking of needs Maslow described, or even for the existence of a definite hierarchy at all. Conducted in 2002, a recent study forwards this line of thought, claiming that "the hierarchy of needs is nothing more than a fool's daydream; there is no possible way to classify ever-changing needs as society changes"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs#Criticisms

I'll stick with what I know and you can stick to what you think you know. Money isn't everything.

Glen0000

Quote wrote: »

Money isn't everything.

Tell that to someone living on the streets or to a woman who has £10 to feed her kids for the month.

Try having a read of these boards to find out how real people live and the suffering and misery that lack of money causes.

So you would rather your kids have a loving hug from you than food? Do me a favour.....

You have probably never been skint your whole life