Pros and Cons of having a second child?

Mme.Hibou

Hahaha at this thread, what a brilliant read!

Some of the rubbish being spouted on here (Yes Glen0000 I am looking at you) is amazing really.

I bet Pigeongirl wishes she'd never bl**dy asked.

ailuro2

Our first born was conceived while I was on the pill, yet our second child never appeared ..... remember, sometimes only children have no brothers or sisters because life just decided that was the way it would be. Not because their parents wanted just one child.

The good thing of being an only one child is they have us available to take them places, help with their homework, sit and have a chat whenever they want,spend time snuggling up in front of the TV without anyone else clambering up to share. From a child's point of view, however, a sibling close in age can do almost all of the above and no need for Mum or Dad to do the homework, chat, play etc.

Having a sibling also provides a constant lesson in sharing, in fighting and standing up for yourself, and in negotiation skills, and of course gives you someone to blame misedemeanours on..:rotfl:

My DD is 10 now, and would love a sister, but since that never happened, she's stuck with us to play t her a top trumps, scrabble etc. We don't spoil her either at Christmas or birthdays, we could afford to buy more, but are wary of bringing her up to have everything on a plate.:beer:

Good question, pigeongirl!

Glen0000

Quote wrote: »

So you're championing the cause of The Poor now, are you? Good grief, how many hats do you want to wear? I thought that you thought they were all gun-toting, machete-carrying benefit-claiming baby-machines?.

There is a huge difference between the underclass (those on long term benefits who are often working on the side and not poor) and the poor working class.

Becles

Glen0000 wrote: »

If you can bring up polite, well behaved, hard working children and give them the opportunity to thrive as well as providing a stable financial future, without claiming benefits, then good luck to you.

Yes I am doing. They're all well mannered and well behaved bairns, and I've got no worries about taking them to public places or child-free homes as I know they'll behave and not trash the place.

I'm really proud of my eldest. He got three level 5's (top grades) in the Year 6 SATS in May. He's just done some internal exams at his new secondary school and got 98% in science and 94% in maths putting him top of the classes, and 97% in French putting him in second place behind a girl who is half-French! His other teachers gave high praise for his work.

My middle one is above average in maths and reading, but finds written English difficult. We spent last night writing super sentences with this week's spelling list to help him with this. The youngest is only 18 months, but she recognises a few colours and shapes, and I'm just starting to teach her counting.

I didn't mention money as it's so variable - everyone has a different budget depending on their income and how they spend it.

For example, you said your wife has to work full time, you live in a smaller home, your wife has an active social life and you leave your child with grandparents overnight so you have alone couple time.

In our case I work part time, our house is a decent size, but I don't socialise much and we only go out occasionally. We prefer to spend time at home with our children and I really enjoy looking after my bairns and bringing them up to be decent citizens.

Two completely different lifestyles which require different levels of funding. Neither is wrong or right - just how different people live.

I feel it's unfair of you to condem people who have larger families, just because you don't agree with it. We're not all bringing up the feral monsters that are involved in gun and knife crime that you imply in earlier posts.

Glen0000

searching_me wrote: »

all i have to say is glen0000 i feel very sorry for your child i dont ever regret ever having my ddand i was 17 so unless you were that age you have no idea what too young to have a child is your child does not even sound wanted so you cant really give advice on childern if you never wanted them in the first place x

How dare you be so self righteous when my taxes are paying for your children. Maybe if you had to work as hard as I do to provide for my family AND families like yours you would understand where I am coming from.

Glen0000

Becles wrote: »

For example, you said your wife has to work full time, you live in a smaller home, your wife has an active social life and you leave your child with grandparents overnight so you have alone couple time.

Are you talking about me?

My wife doesn't work full time??? She works part time, self employed from home.

DD stays with grandparents about 6 times a year? The grandparents ask to have her, we don't palm her off to have "alone couple time".

My wife goes out at night about once very other month, although she does do lunches/coffee when DD is at school??? Wouldn’t say this was an "active" social life.

Yes, we do live in a 3 bed semi, so you got that right.

I have no objection to large families who are paying their way. What I do object to is someone with 3 kids on £15k getting an additional £10k in tax credits that sensible people like me have to pay for. If you can't manage on your wage, don't have kids.

Alikay

Glen0000 wrote: »

How dare you be so self righteous when my taxes are paying for your children.

I hate the attitude of (usually childless) people who claim their taxes are paying for other people's chldren. The thing with tax is that we generally use most of the services they provide at the beginning and end of our lives (education and healthcare). So yes, if you insist Glen0000 your tax is paying for some peoples kids...but it's also paying for some grandparents. And when you're old, travelling free on the buses, needing free prescriptions and heating allowance, maybe a hip-replacement etc - other people's kids will pay for YOU!

Incidentally I have 3 children (teens/20's) and have never needed to claim benefits as we've earned enough to pay for them....one's a student nurse and another's joining the forces (all services you may need at some point), so you've got yourself a bargain from our family!

Glen0000

Alikay wrote: »

Incidentally I have 3 children (teens/20's) and have never needed to claim benefits as we've earned enough to pay for them....one's a student nurse and another's joining the forces (all services you may need at some point), so you've got yourself a bargain from our family!

Good for you. It makes a nice change to see a large family not claiming benefits.

Glen0000

Becles wrote: »

Yes I am doing.

Actually you are not as you stated in another post you get tax credits. That is a benefit to me, especially when it is £50/£100/£150 a week sometimes.

Alikay

Glen0000 wrote: »

Good for you. It makes a nice change to see a large family not claiming benefits.

We have quite a few friends with 3 or 4 children and none are on benefits - I'm puzzled that you find it a "nice change"