christmas family nightmares

Zazen999

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

Whilst I can see this is really tempting, don't forget this is a one time only deal. Next Christmas you'll be on the road again. And of course your mum will know that it's not true and you will have put her to the trouble of planning for you to come and then disappointing her. Personally I'd say go with the short term loss, long term gain strategy

Unless you go in with the 'actually, we really enjoyed it last year, even though I was ill'...approach.

ClareEmily

cazxx1 wrote: »

Or look at it from another view. We have not mother or father in law, and I have no mom or dad. I would give anything to go to there house, so be thankful for what youve got x

How to make me feel really BAD

I am thankful for what I have and I love them all dearly.

jellyhead

cazxx1 wrote: »

Or look at it from another view. We have not mother or father in law, and I have no mom or dad. I would give anything to go to there house, so be thankful for what youve got x

Nadnad is thankful for her family, you can see that in her posts, she loves them all and doesn't want to upset them - she just doesn't want to ruin her child's christmas every year by dragging him from pillar to post, on the motorway all day with drunk drivers.

Sorry you don't have family to go to, I can see how you'd miss them at this time of year *HUGS*

I hope you have a lovely day anyway

cazxx1

Clare im really sorry, I didnt sorry I didnt mean to make you feel bad...jelly I will have a good time I have a husband.. I love to bits....All of you have a lovely time your all lovely people xxx

margaretclare

Reading through this thread, it seems that the world is divided into 2 camps:

Those who think that Christmas is no big deal, it's just one day, there are plenty of other days to see family/eat big meals/give gifts etc.

Those who think that Christmas Day is the one special day of the year when all those things have to be done on the one day.

I am afraid that I fall into the first camp even though I am a churchgoer and regard Christmas as still a religious festival primarily. For me, many Christmases have been a normal working day, and on others, it has not come up to the hype and the expectations, let's just put it that way, for whatever reason.

Neither camp can understand the point of the view of the other.

This year I am doing even less than I did on previous years, because I can't plan a thing for 25th December. I don't know if DH will be home or in hospital, and even if he's home, he won't be very mobile and we shan't feel like doing much, although friends are welcome to pop in at any time to say 'hello', but not to expect us to do a lot of entertaining. People can bring their own mince pies!

Lara44

Last year I stayed at home in London with OH for the first time. I'm in my mid-20s and have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. It was his choice to stay here on our own, and we really enjoyed it.

My Mum was upset and furious - cried and wouldn't speak to me for a few weeks. She said OH and I's relationship was of no consequence as we weren't married . . etc etc. I expected her to be unimpressed but not so much so!!! My sisters backed me which was really helpful, and in a few weeks Mum was back to her usual self.

I am pleased to report that it was one of the best things that ever happened in the longer term, as Mum has finally recognised that OH and I are seriously committed as a couple. She has really made the effort to welcome OH into the family a lot more, and takes us and our needs a lot more seriously.

This year we are both going back to my house for Christmas and to OH family for New Years. Mum has picked OH 3 big presents for this year - last year's present was a beer towel!!! So I would wholeheartedly recommend OP to put her own new baby first and stay at home, for this year at least. You never know, it might just change things a little. In my view, it doesn't mean you love your family any less, but as with all things in life, you need to take turns each year and not cram everything into one sitting. HTH!!!

scottishchick27

My DD is now nearly 7 but for her first Christmas we decided that we would have just a family Christmas for the 3 of us. It was pleasant enough but I "hated" it. It just wasn't the same without every one there. Fair enough it was nice as we had our soup at 3, our starter at 4, our main course at 5 and our pudding at 8 so the whole meal wasn't rushed and we ate when we felt like it but there was none of the cheery banter that I've come to expect from a proper family meal. Me and OH are lucky as my mum and his mum have been friends for longer than we have been together so that makes it easier. Ever since that year our families has taken turns with whose house the meal is in. This year it's our turn again and we have 14 of us coming over. :eek: DD is the only child but she loves all the attention. If I was you OP i would have my own family christmas this year and then see how you get on. Don't feel guilty for it. My mum is very family orientated too but she coped that first year (was just me that didn't:o ).

belfastgirl23

Zazen999 wrote: »

Unless you go in with the 'actually, we really enjoyed it last year, even though I was ill'...approach.

Still think you'd end up facing the same storms that you ducked out of this year though I don't think the fact that you enjoyed it would really hold much water with Mum and she would know you were lying and you would know you were lying which is really much worse than getting hassle for telling the truth since you KNOW you are guilty.

aliasojo

Times like this I thank God me and OH are orphans.

:rotfl:

Get tough OP.......it's the only way.

dumpy

Why not try this way?

Talk to her about remembering Christmas when you were little, talk about how much you enjoyed being at home with her and in your own house. Talk about specific memories you have and how they were so special. Get her to reminice and talk about it as well so she is all relaxed and remembering good times.

THEN

Say that you want to be able to give your children the same Christmas as you enjoyed so much therefore you will be following her excellent example and staying at home and you are very grateful for her for showing you the way to celebrate Christmas.

Good luck!