what do your husbands/oh's give for housekeeping

lesley1960

I really dont understand this splitting of bills , surely its all about sharing everything?
Maybe the OP should bill her husband for the work she does at home and for looking after their child

Loretta

doodle82 wrote: »

Hi hannahsmummy

I'm in a bit of a similar situation, in that my husband and I have seperate accounts and I work part time earning slightly less than you do.

We've always kept our money seperate and each have our own things that we are responsible for paying. I earn about £110 per week (paid monthly) and i also get Tax credits and Child Benefit. Out of that I pay council tax (£120 pm) Electric (£60) Water (£30) House insurance (£15) phone and broadband (approx £40) my life insurance (£22) my mob phone bill (£24) as wel as half the food shopping (about £70 per month-what i pay not total lol this for 2 adults, 5 yr old and 18 month old). I also pay to have a babysitter for an hopur between me going to work and my husband getting in, which is about £100 per month. I also have credit card debts which I pay (£85)
my husband earns a fair bit more than I do, and he pays the mortgage, tv licence, car stuff (it's his car-i don't drive) half the food shopping as his own credit card and loan bills. I don't mind this arrangement most of the time, but i do begrudge him spending £130 a month on fags when i struggle to buy stuff the kids need-I also buy most of their clothes, and all nappies for the younger one (unless i ask him to pick some up on his way home) school trips for my older son etc etc in september i spent £60 on shoes for both of them-not very moneywise but they both have really wide feet and so can't buy them cheap shoes! He will 'loan' me money if i'm short-like the month before last he lent me £50 and i said i would pay it back when i got paid, then when i thoguht about it, i asked him if i could the month after that cos we were going on holiday so didn't want to be short for that and he got really huffy-even though he'd just been paid, and as he gets paid 4 weekly that payday wasn't needed for the mortgage etc, just diesel-it works out he gets an 'extra' payday once a year cos he's paid 13 times and the bills come out 12 times! so i paid him back, and then had to borrow it off him again, cos i was short again this month! He can be so tight sometimes, and always brings up the past when i got in trouble with my overdraft, cc etc (i do have a credit card now, but i'm up to date with payments and within my limit etc) and he won't have it-at christmas we pay for our own family's gifts etc but with the kids i've already got some bits for them, but he said we should go half on the bulk of it!!! i know they are equally my kids but he earns so much more than i do!!!!
hannahsmummy, you should try talking to him and explain how you feel, and ask him why he's being the way he's being!


sorry to ramble on but just know you are not alone!!

I don't mean to sound rude but your husband sounds a bit tight and a bit selfish and maybe if you kept on you may manage to change him a little if you were really determined! Hannahsmummy's husband sounds like he is on a different level altogether, he has a very large income by anyone's standards
but I don't think with him it is all about money, he is using the money issue to control and bully her and think he is too scared to tell him that his attitude and behaviour, the lounge thing, is completely unacceptable

Buffy_the_Vampire_Bat

Mr BTVB and I have separate bank accounts, but have split our household expenditure like this:

Mr BTVB pays:

The rent
Monthly loan payment (we consolidated our graduate loans into one a couple of years ago)
Gas/water/electricity
Home insurance
BT/mobile bill (neither of these are usually that big at all)
TV licence
His 'Park and Ride' bus fares

I pay:

Council tax
Car insurance
Car repairs/service/MOT
All grocery/household shopping
Petrol
Holidays
Christmas/birthdays/presents for new babies etc
Internet
Chunk on Barclaycard
Plus a sum into a savings account each month

Mr BTVB has been "a bit free and easy" with his spending in the past, so all but his bus fares are set up on direct debit - all of which are timed to go out soon after pay day so nothing gets missed or forgotten about.

We earn roughly similar amounts, and this style of spending works very well for us

Loretta

Buffy_the_Vampire_Bat wrote: »

Mr BTVB and I have separate bank accounts, but have split our household expenditure like this:

Mr BTVB pays:

The rent
Monthly loan payment (we consolidated our graduate loans into one a couple of years ago)
Gas/water/electricity
Home insurance
BT/mobile bill (neither of these are usually that big at all)
TV licence
His 'Park and Ride' bus fares

I pay:

Council tax
Car insurance
Car repairs/service/MOT
All grocery/household shopping
Petrol
Holidays
Christmas/birthdays/presents for new babies etc
Internet
Chunk on Barclaycard
Plus a sum into a savings account each month

Mr BTVB has been "a bit free and easy" with his spending in the past, so all but his bus fares are set up on direct debit - all of which are timed to go out soon after pay day so nothing gets missed or forgotten about.

We earn roughly similar amounts, and this style of spending works very well for us

This works because you earn about the same and seems very fair, hannahsmummy's situation is quite different

liney

oops double post.

liney

Loretta wrote: »

This works because you earn about the same and seems very fair, hannahsmummy's situation is quite different

Actually without knowing how much the OP's husband pays out each month for their bills and his child maintenance there is no way of knowing if it is unfair or not.

He earns £60K, which is approx £3500 per month take home, minus 10-15% (?) child maintenance. No idea whether they live in a small house with a small mortgage or a mansion, so that could be eaten up very, very quickly with a largish mortgage payment plus bills.

feedumall

hi i must say i find how couples sort out the finances very intresting.we have a joint account all money earned goes in the pot,i have been made redundant so just dh is working.i work out the money pay bills, save for hols etc if i want something i have it,if dh wants something he gets me to buy it as he knows i will find the best deal.we have allways shared the money through good times and bad ,he works very hard so i do finances ,house work etc,we are a team and there is no my money your money ,we have been married or almost 34 years and have never argued about money everything else just not money:o

borkid

Hi, hubby is retired (early) on a pension which will pay all the bills with some over and I work part time from home, the earning are unreliable but suit our lifestyle. We have 1 joint account and our own separate accounts. All the bills, food etc come out of the joint account, which is where his pension is paid into. Any remaining money is split equally between to 2 of us. My earnings are paid into my account but I use it for extras, if something in the house needs replacing, meals out etc or if we overspend one month I'll make up the shortfall. I'm aiming to save up to have a 'buffer' of £1000 or so then start repaying the mortgage early. So far this hasn't happened, helping adult children out and white goods breaking down . We bought a new car last year and I financed that but it isn't a problem as we both agreed. I think that's the important thing, both agreeing to what is spent.We both have exactly the same allowance which we can spend as we like with no recriminations. I don't always agree with what he spends it on but he's probably the same with how I spend my allowance.

I've had times when I haven't earned due to being a stay at home mum and we have always done the same although at times there was no money over. The point is we've always had the same.

Loretta

liney wrote: »

Actually without knowing how much the OP's husband pays out each month for their bills and his child maintenance there is no way of knowing if it is unfair or not.

He earns £60K, which is approx £3500 per month take home, minus 10-15% (?) child maintenance. No idea whether they live in a small house with a small mortgage or a mansion, so that could be eaten up very, very quickly with a largish mortgage payment plus bills.

OP said he had considerable savings

Buffy_the_Vampire_Bat

Loretta wrote: »

This works because you earn about the same and seems very fair, hannahsmummy's situation is quite different

It seems I missed the bit earlier about hannahsmummy's OH earning 60K...I was just answering the question posed in the title of this thread...