what do your husbands/oh's give for housekeeping

hannahsmummy1

To those of you who have separate accounts or whatever, what do your partners/husbands give you for housekeeping. I am asking this as i do not get a single penny of housekeeping from hubby. I work part time, around 20 hours a week, although i can (and often do) get overtime. for doing 20 hours a week i get 118 (obviously no tax on this) Out of this i have to find money for shopping, (around 20 pounds a week for a family of 3 & a cat) i also have to put money aside for car tax, insurance, petrol (although this isnt that much about 30a month) xmas coming up, i put money aside for that (10 pounds a week) i have to put money aside else i would have no money for presents for anyone at christmas, he has not given me a bean for christmas presents for about 3 or 4 years now.He knows excatly what i have coming in and going out, as we have to do our 'finances' every month, which involves me giving him my bank statements, and telling him exactly where every penny is going. This is due to me being in trouble with money in the past (though not anymore) We are also going on holiday next year which i am paying for myself, he is paying for himself, and our daughter goes free, he is paying for his son, and his mother is paying for herself (that mil) I am also going on holiday with a friend, and my daughter & her child also, which i said all along i would pay for (which is fine)

At the moment i spend about 70 a week on all my outgoings, then i have monthly outgoings (dd's ballet,20a month, then a 10 a month on-going thing i have to pay to an old uni debt, which out of principal i only pay the minimum of 10 a month back) So on a normal week this leaves me with about 48 a week, however, this week is half term, and i took dd out monday to swimming which cost 9 pounds, then yesterday a farm which cost 12 pounds,and i had ordered some avon stuff for christmas presents, so this has left me with no money now.

So i just wondered what everybody gets for housekeeping each week/month etc, if you get anything at all.

TotallyBroke

All bills etc are in my name and come from my bank account (as I owned the house on my own previously). But we add up all the joint bills and divide by two. That's then what he gives me. Unfortunately because of joint debts etc the leaves him with virtually no spare cash each month so I pay for treats etc for us as a family. As the debts disappear then his disposable income will increase.
As far as I am concerned, a relationship should be 50/50

Little_Otter

I'm not in that kind of situation yet with my OH as dont live together/not married. BUT
I think its awful how your partner treats you re money. You may have had problems in the past but you have obviously learnt from your mistakes!!!!
You should not have to be buying xmas presents/paying for your childrens days out/activities from the little money you have (I am presuming he works full time) a relationship is a partnership, about two people coming together in all aspects of their life, and this includes finances! IMO it is extremely unfair how this arrangement is..... I bet you write lots of love from Hannahsmummy1 and OH on the xmas pressies you give!!??

I am in a 3 yr relationship, not living together, not married, and we are very open minded re money..... OH earns ALOT more than me, but we still treat each other/pay for things, i do the food shopping (we stay at each others houses and eat each others food) he is paying for my holdiay next year, I paid for the home insurance (£350ish) on his house that he is doing up (I dont own a share in this house) I am paying for that car he leases, for me, to have a paint job as someone has keyed it (£250) we sort of take it in turns who pays for what and help each other out...
My parents were/are very petty about money and it really used to bug me (they would come home with butter if the other asked for them to call for it and say you owe me £1.84p!!! or for wine, chocs etc)

Alikay

We have a joint account mainly consisting of DH's salary (I work sporadically and don't earn much), so I don't have housekeeping money. I spend about £100 per week on groceries, the bills are all paid by direct debit and any sundry spending money....well, we go to the cashpoint and get £50 out at weekends - and use it till it's gone! Maybe it'll last a week, sometimes a day...:D.

onlyroz

Thought the days were gone when wives had to ask their husbands for money. Brings back visions of wifey standing at the garden gate with her hand out when hubby got back from work with his wages in an envelope...

HGLTsuperstar

Have I read this right - you pay for all the groceries, loo rolls etc - so you feed him for free. There's the answer - he treats you like a cook/waitress - you chage him accordingly.

Cloister

Well,

We put all our money together and basically pay everything that has to be paid and the rest is housekeeping which the DW has as she does all the shopping.

If we need to go out or anything else thats essential it usually comes out of the housekeeping.

We both know exactly what we have coming in and where it goes, I couldn't imagine it any other way.

Is it difficult for you to talk to him about money these days? He really should be equally contributing at the very least, I take he says "well I pay all the bills" that may be so but If I were you I'd try to encourage you to put your money together each month and then work out what NEEDS to be spent like stuff for your daughter etc, have that stuff go out and work out some spending money for both of you.

Money is always a difficult thing to talk about so if you do good luck. Do you know how much he earns? (no need to tell us but do YOU know?)

Alikay

OP, does your OH 's meanness extend beyond money, or is he just a bit ermm quirky regarding cash? You know what he's doing is not normal or right so I hope he has plenty of good qualities to compensate. If he's not thoughtful, kind, supportive, hard-working with a good sense of humour and you fancy each other something rotten get out quick. Meanness of that degree usually goes hand-in-hand with a meanness of spirit that will damage yourself and your child.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Me and OH have a joint account, he got in trouble with debts etc so we closed his bank account and have a joint one now and i monitor the bank but NO WAY would i make him sit down and tell me what he's spent HIS money on, i check the bills are being paid and tell him whats spare at end of month, we take so much out for xmas pressies, so much into an emergency fund and the rest gets halved and we spend it on what we want. At the end of the day, you've earned your money, youve gotten out of debt, hopefully would of learnt how to be cash savvy so tell him to rock off. My mum DOES get house keeping money, she gets £100 a week but thats for groceries ONLY. My dad pays the bills. Tell you OH to go halves on the bills, its only fair and personally, i wouldnt buy him a xmas pressie, tell him you couldnt afford it!

SSB

My OH has always earned much more than I have, I was a stay-at-home mum and now work part-time. I deal with all the finances and my OH has never made an issue out of it. I find it abhorrent that I would have to pay all the things you pay for out of my part-time wage!

Why on earth your OH would not contribute towards christmas presents? What if you could not afford a holiday, would he go alone?

hannahsmummy1

Thanks for all your replies. Yes it is ludicrous (sp?!) the way the situation is at the moment. He works full time (very hard i might add, and i do know how much he earns, if i told you it would shock you- really it would) I didnt mean for me to sound old fashioned, but if i come across like that! What hurts more is that if i couldnt afford to take DD to ballet lessons or treat her occasionally with a day out (two days on the trot is a very exceptional treat i hasten to add) he wouldnt even ask me if i am ok for money. Im not even asking for a set amount each week/month whatever, all i would like is that if i needed a little extra for me to be able to go to him and say i need x amount for whatever, and not be given the third degree or the spanish inquisition for asking in the first place, which is why the situation is like it is, because i know there will be hassle i generally dont bother about even asking now. I am going to sit down this weekend (as we are doing the finances- lol!) and tell him how i feel