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Ideas for ADHD Children?

edited 30 November -1 at 12:00AM in Disability Money Matters
115 replies 24.5K views


  • Just want to say HI ALL wow ,wow, wow, Im glad I stummbled upon this thread,my sons diagnosis of ADHD when he was 7 has been a rollercoaster but now hes 18(looks and acts 13/14 he has ASD (I think he has autistic traits and ADHD traits),it all baffles me diagnosis and names etc but hes so obesed with films and actors and his clothes,his hair has been the latest and if it had a curl in it he would have it cut out,yes 3 visits in 4 weeks to the hairdressers but hes 18 now I cannot tell him no,he goes to the same hairdressers and has built up a nice repour with the lady who does it for him and he would never trust anyone else.....he to is hyper and loud but also very much in his own world and subdued,if someone visits us hes mega quiet and withdrawls.....hes like what you call an odd child and doesnt have many friends and the ones he does have are 3 to 4 yrs younger than him and "odd" too,I hate using that word but its the only way I can explain and give you all an idea but being odd in my eyes makes you special and unique.......I take my hat off to all the above posters except the jerk who thinks hes a clown (post 61)(theres always one eh)but yep you are all special people and your lovely children are lucky to have parents like you.well done all we arnt alone like I said to another poster yesterday that boat is never empty its always full so never feel lonely as there are loads of us out there....xxxxxx
    :hello:Time2start a new year diet for a new me:j
  • NAT.B_2NAT.B_2 Forumite
    240 posts
    Hi there,

    There is so much help out there, maybe other areas are better? Ive had so much help latly as things have got worse. Parentline plus are national charity, ive got alot help in my area now, but it took alot of looking finding them.

    Ive recently asked the school to if they knew of anyone else and yes ive been in touch with them to!

    Dont be afrid of asking for help, for years i struggles on my own thinking other people would see me as a failer, now older and wiser and ringing up children is hard work, more so kids with special needs!
  • Savvy_SueSavvy_Sue Forumite
    42.6K posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    I hate using that word but its the only way I can explain and give you all an idea but being odd in my eyes makes you special and unique.......
    I describe mine (mild Asperger's) as 'different'. He calls us 'weird'. And he had friends who made him look positively normal! Lovely lads, all of them ... :rotfl: just don't let me get stuck in a confined space with the one who's obsessive about a well-known London department store!

    I know we had different problems to ADHD, I'm just suggesting ways of describing our different offspring.
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  • drussdruss Forumite
    70 posts
    My son H was diagnosed with ADHD 1 year ago, he was 6, shortly after I was diagnosed as well so understand how his mind works, much to the annoyance of my darling wife who dispairs and loves the pair of us its like being in a secret club she cant join!

    The best thing is a routine whatever you do stick to it as much as possible, as we know getting ready for school and bedtimes is preceeded by parents psyching themselves up ready fo war, tin hat on and wait for the bomb shells to go off.

    The most helpful thing for H is we got him reading, every book he reads is different, there are many styles of childrens books, he loves the kids 'scary horror' books, horrid henry style funny books, famous five. Usually these are bought from 'treasure hunting' trips to a car boot sale or charity shop, you can pick them up for pence.

    We find this works far better than a dvd which hes watched so many times hes bored of so ends up jumping out of bed and running around, and whilst we found the computer games worked to capture his attention he wasnt in bed so we would have to drag him away and it would all kick off ...... again.

    Now he reads his book in bed, he falls asleep with a book in his hand (still doesnt turn his bl**dy light off though) and is usually so engrossed we dont hear a peep from him.

    It has also helped him at school because his reading strength is better than a lot of his class mates and has made him more confident at school where as itinitially he was falling behind and then playing class clown to make himself feel better.

    ADHD can be a strength as long as you try not to fight the way ADDERS brains work, square pegs do not fit in round holes so find a square hole for it.
    much easier :-)
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  • Paris your post had me in tears. sometimes I do find myself worrying if I am doing the right thing. DS is very behind at school and acording to school is one of the most immature in his year and they said its my fault grrrrrrrrr. Druss how wonderful to hear from a dad's pint of view I so wish My ex could get along with our Son but he can't and has never been able to.

    onto another subject which has been giving me something else to stress over.... the new law which states that single parents are going to have to find work when their child turns one.
    I have already been to my job centre and asked about this and it does include me (only people with sevearly disabled chidren are exempt) I have tried to explain that I can not find a chid minder whom DS would stay with plus the only ones who would deal with his problems are specialist and charge specialist prices which the government child care does not cover ( I'd be lucky to get a job at min wage since the line of work I was in, call centre manager, now rarley exists in this country) min wage will not in anyway cover what id be paying in childcare plus I live in a rural area which means I would have to travel miles and miles in order to get to a child minder. then there is the problem of what to do when kids are on school hols??????? give up work and hope to be able to get another job when hols come to an end? then the benefits system is so slow it takes weeks to sort out any benefits which would mean I would have no money for weeks at a time.
    of corse there is the other problem that people are loosing their jobs every day so how am I expected to get a job?
    don't get me wrong I loved working and only had to give it up when my ex hubby walked out on us for someone else and I would love to work again however I wonder when I would get housework done and meals cooked not to mention when I am supposed to sleep (up at least 7 times per night with DS now). I am worried sick about all this and it is starting to show my kids keep asking if im ok.
    has the government really thought this through?
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  • shazroboshazrobo Forumite
    3.3K posts
    hi alexcross, do u claim dla for your son, and if so do u claim carer's allowance
    the reason i ask, is your last post. when i rang the job centre, they said my benefits would remain, and i wouldnt have to look for a job, because i am a carer, receiving carer's allowance
    enjoy life, we only get one chance at it:)
  • hi shaz
    I claim DLA for DS but I can't claim carer's Allowence because im on income support. the job centre told me I maybe able to claim it instead of income support when the new rules come in but it will then affect my chikd benefit and CSA payments he worked out that id be about £50 per week worse off if I did that (which I simply can not afford).
    The job centre have said I will deff have to go back to work and basically they have said its not their problem who watches DS during school holidays.
    Iam making myself ill worrying about this. what gets me is if I was to leave him in on his own while I went drinking for 8 hours social services would remove him from my care however they think its ok to do this to work.
    they have not thought about this at all and I am not the only one in this situation I mean there are not many parents out there who would WANT to leave their one year old babies with total strangers for most of the day and then only see them for a few hours a night........what is the point of having kids???????????
  • hi alex

    I worked for DWP for 5 years processing income support. you can claim carers allowance if your ds is on middle rate care or higher but if you are entitle to no money from them you will have an underling entitlement so you will receive no money from them. You will then be entitled to a carers premium on your income support of £27.75. You then are not only claiming as a lone parent but as a carer. I am unsure of any new rules as i have not processed income support for the last year. get intouch with your lone parent adviser and get them to set up a meeting so they can explain all the options available explain to you.

    example of single parent with one child Income Support if CTC in pay

    Single parent age 25 £59.15 - £48.65(carers allowance paid if entitled)+£27.75carers premium = entitled to £38.25 Income Support plus £48.65 will be paid by carers allowace =£86.90

    or underlining entilement to carers allowance

    Single parent age 25 £59.15+£27.75carers premium = entitled to £86.90 Income Support
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  • shazroboshazrobo Forumite
    3.3K posts
    hi alex, i claim income support and also carer's allowance, i would go back to the job centre and ask for a second opinion. what rate of dla does your son get?, i think he has to be getting middle or high rate care for you to claim carer's allowance
    enjoy life, we only get one chance at it:)
  • DS is on Higher rate. He did start off on middle rate. I went to job Centre and told them what Id been told and he said I could not claim a penny in CA if I did I would then lose Income support (yes I do get a premium on it).
    I phoned DWP saying all this today and telling them tha DS will not stay with a carer for me to go back to work and they said my local job centre have been giving me the wrong information they have said that I will need to go to full time college for re-traing then id be expected to work after two years. I tried to explain that this is no better as would still need care for DS I couldn't believe it when the woman said "can your family not do it" gees! I give up. my family can not (or will not) look after DS I was told in no uncertain terms when I split from hubby that I had decided to have kids now it was my responsibility as they had brought up their kids.
    I have worried myself sick about this for weeks now (been ill because of it) now im just gona take what comes along and deal with it then thanks for your help guys. xx
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